when you’ve just found out your young child needs glasses
This post is for anyone who just found out their young child (baby, toddler, or preschooler) will need glasses and did what I did – hit the Internet hard and did some serious googling. Learning that your child will need glasses, and possibly have other vision issues is a really difficult thing. It can be quite lonely, as most of us had never known any other kids as young as ours who needed glasses. Luckily for us, the Internet has made distance irrelevant, and we’ve been able to connect with other parents going through the same issues. I’m hoping this guide can provide a bit of comfort and help at least with the glasses aspect.
Feeling upset, worried, and guilty
I’ve heard from so many parents that they were overwhelmed and upset at the news. I know I was, and it didn’t help that I was angry at myself for being upset, too – I wear glasses, and have for most of my life, so it didn’t seem right that it would upset me to learn Zoe would need them. Plus I was filled with worry: worry about buying new glasses, worry that Zoe would have life-long vision problems, worry that I wouldn’t be able to keep them on her, worry that she would forever be known as the “girl in glasses.” Don’t try to suppress your worries, but do know that it gets better, and know that you’re doing the right thing for them in helping them develop good vision.
Many parents end up feeling guilty: that they didn’t notice early enough, or that they might be somehow responsible for their child’s vision problems. There is already enough guilt in this world, and in this case you can let it go. The signs can be very difficult to catch, especially with young children who are not yet, or only just becoming verbal. They’ve never known any difference in how they see, so they are not likely to complain. The vision problems are almost always the result of genetics, natural variations, or premature birth. In other words, not your fault. At all.
Finding a doctor
You will be taking your child to their eye doctor a lot in the next few years. You’ll probably be there at least every 6 months, and quite possibly more often than that. Because of this, it is vital to find a doctor that you trust and who works well with your child. While many of us are very happy with the first doctor we visit, many have gone to 2, 3 or even 4 doctors to find one who will work for them.
You may also want to bring another adult with you, especially to the first few appointments. That way one person can watch and comfort your child, while the other person focuses on the information from the doctor. You’ll be getting a lot of information and you want to be able to focus on it, but your child is likely to be upset by the appointment, especially if they have their eyes dilated.
- Read the post about one reader’s typical ophthalmologist visit.
- Read the post where readers discuss how often they see their eye doctor.
- Read the post where readers talk about getting a second opinion.
Getting the glasses
There are more and more options for glasses for young kids, but they’re not always available at every store. Ask around at different eye glasses shops to find out what kind of selection they have, and what their experience is fitting frames to small faces. You will be in for adjustments a lot, so you want to be sure they’re used to seeing small children. Also ask about warranties, for both the frames and the lenses. The frames can get bent, or broken. The lenses will get scratched quite quickly. And your child’s prescription may change multiple times in a year. Find out if the glasses place will cover frames breaking, lenses being scratched and prescription changes.
- Read the post that talks about one parent’s experience with a supplemental vision plan.
- Read the post where readers discuss which frames they purchased for their children.
- Take a look at the photo gallery, where most pictures include information on the brand of frames.
Getting the glasses to stay on
Many places will tell you that once your child realizes that they see better with their glasses, they’ll be much more likely to leave them on, and even ask for them first thing in the morning. And that’s true, but the trick is getting through that initial stage when they don’t want these funny things sitting on their face. Every child is different, some will take to their glasses immediately, while others fight tooth and nail for months. While there are a lot of strategies to get your child to leave their glasses on, the key seems to be to stay positive (which is easier said than done) and consistent about keeping them on (ok, this is also easier said than done). You’ll also want to have activities on hand when you put those glasses on. Boredom and glasses do not mix!
- Check out the Collected Wisdom section on getting your kids to wear glasses. (It’s a collection of strategies that have worked for the readers of this blog).
Other people’s reactions
You will get comments about your child’s glasses. It’s uncommon to see a young child in glasses, but glasses are common enough that I think people feel comfortable asking about them. Luckily, the comments are nearly always positive ones, though you’ll become practiced at answering the questions of how you knew your child needed glasses, and how doctors can figure out the prescription for children so young. As for other kids, your child probably won’t have to put up with mean comments from kids just yet. You’re more likely to have to deal with other kids trying to take the glasses out of curiosity, or asking their own parents if they can have glasses. There has also been some research that found that most school-age kids don’t believe that glasses make other kids less attractive or less athletic, only that they’re likely to think kids with glasses are more honest (read the post about that study). Of course this doesn’t mean your child will immune from being teased about their glasses, but it sounds as though the unattractive, unathletic, nerd stereotype is perhaps fading.
Final thoughts
No one who has been here will tell you that this is easy, but you are not alone in this. Remember that you are doing the absolute best thing for your child and his or her vision by getting them treated early. We hope you’ll stick around and read a few of the stories here and introduce yourself and join in. We’ve all learned so much from each other. Best of luck all around.
- Check out the In the beginning… categories for more stories from parents about finding out their child needs glasses.
This is AWESOME!!!!
I was going to say “awesome”, but I don’t want sound like a copycat of Melinda. I’ll stick with “excellent” and post a link on my blog.
Thanks, both of you! I hope it’s helpful, it’s pretty much what I wanted to find when I first started searching for information. Anything I missed?
This is a great guide. I almost think there should be a wikipedia page linking back to all of this!
Thank you for your article but I have to admit I’m stilling having a difficult time believing my 4 1/2 year old needs glasses. We took her to her required kindergarten eye exam feeliong it was a waste of time but they gave us the shock of our life. It never crossed my mind my daughter had any vision impairments because I’m a stay at home mom that watches her carefully and have never noticed anything, plus she says she can see fine. So I took her for a second exam that day and he stated the same thing but different diagnosis and prescription. I’m not quite sure what to do now because the doctors are conflicting and I dont know if she actually has vision problems or its just my self not wanting her to wear glasses. I want to help but not hurt her vision if she does not need them. Can someone please give my your opinion I struggeling real hard with this decision. In case its pertenant for those of you that understand eye prescriptions one of hers is OD +4.00 -0.75 x020 OS+4.75 -0.50 x180 any replys appreciated.
Hi Amanda,
My daughter has worn glasses since she is 9 months old to try and correct her crosseyedness after an unsuccessful eye muscle surgery. Since then, I have done a lot of research, but only recently figured out how they determine what kind of prescription she needs for her glasses since she is only 2 1/2 now. First of all, it is very hard to notice that a young child has a vision problem and it often goes diagnosed for a long time unless there is something obvious like squinting or holding a book very close to see it, or crossing of the eyes, etc. We have a friend, who is 13 and only just now found out that she is legally blind on her left eye and never even knew she couldn’t see well in that eye. Children adapt so easily that they will not give you a clue that they can’t see well. Also, since it’s all that they have ever known, they don’t know that they could see better or differently. Your daughter’s prescription is very similar to our daughter’s prescription and even if our Ellie does not wear her glasses she can function normally. When they do the eye exam and they put different lenses in front of your daughters eyes and then shine a light in her eye, the way that the eye responds to that light and the lens, helps the doctor determine the prescription for the lens. While for an adult, we can look through a machine and tell the doctor how we see better, they could also do this for adults to determine our prescription. I think it is safe to say that the prescription is correct. If you get a second opinion, there may be a minor difference to the prescription. Did you see an optometrist (OP) or a pediatric ophtomologist (MD, PO) for your daughter’s eye exam? If you haven’t seen a PO yet, it might be a good idea to get your pediatrician to refer you to one to get a final opinion on what the prescription should be. I know it is hard to comprehend that your daughter needs glasses (it was hard for me), but it will help strengthen her eyes and help her to see better, and she may even outgrow it. I hope this helps!
Hi Amanda – I agree with Corrie. You can see a PO and get another opinion if that makes you feel more confidant about the prescription. Aubrie got glasses at 20 months for a +5.5 prescription in both eyes & at 32 months we bumped up to +5.75. I never thought she had vision issues at all. She LOVED books & put puzzles together like a pro…even upside down ones! She was very bright and nothing seemed behind. However, she started crossing her eyes, so that was our clue that something wasn’t quite right. Now Aubrie is over 3 and talks non-stop, but she still won’t tell me if she sees better with her glasses. She just doesn’t know what it’s like to see well without them…it is all she’s ever known. I completely understand where you are at though. It’s a scary feeling…lots to worry about, guilt for not catching it sooner…so much that it’s a bit overwhelming for us parents at first! However, it is all worth it. When she gets her glasses & wears them constantly you will know the Dr. was right and the worries get better…you just worry about teasing as they grow older next. However, my PO says about 50% grow out of it in their teens so there is always hope
Goood luck & follow your motherly instinct!
Thank you Corrie and Annie she has not seen a OP but we have an app for her pediatrican on monday for her kindergarten exam. I’m going to discuss whats going on with her dr and get hopefully a third opinion.
That’s great you have to see your pediatrician anyway! I hope he/she will be able to reassure you as well! I couldn’t imagine Ellie with glasses… I mean can you imagine a 9-month-old in glasses? She didn’t have them for more than a week, and I couldn’t imagine her without them. When she wakes up in the mornings and I see her without her glasses, it’s like there is something missing. I know you will feel this way about your daughter!!! I agree with Annie, too, my daughter talks like a book, she never stops, and yet when I ask her if she can see better with her glasses than without them, she will not give me an answer. Because she adapts so easily with or without the glasses, they just cannot tell you that they can’t see well. On another note, we get more comments about how cute Ellie is with her glasses than we do with my three other children combined!
I am sure your daughter will be absolutely adorable with glasses, and she will grow to love them as will you!
Hi Amanda! Besides all the great advice you’ve already gotten, I wanted to add that children who are farsighted often show no indication of having vision problems, especially when they’re young (according to the prescription you posted, she’s farsighted). Children who are farsighted can accommodate and compensate for some of the farsightedness in order to focus. This puts a big strain on their eyes and can lead to accomodative esotropia which leads to amblyopia. But the fact is, they won’t show the typical signs of vision problems that we all watch out for, as those are signs of being nearsighted.
I’m not sure what to say about the two different opinions, other than maybe to go back to the first doctor and tell him or her what the other doctor said and see if they can explain what might be leading to the differences?
Best of luck and please keep us updated on how things go for you!
Post a picture when she gets them…we’d love to see. Like Corrie said you’ll get so used to her wearing them, and without them she’ll look like something is missing. I always worried about covering Aubrie’s beautiful eyes…she has the longest eyelashes. I actually cried about it at that time…I was so upset. Now with her prescription her eyes are even bigger! She also gets lots of compliments on how cute she is and how well she does with the glasses! I think she’s more beautiful with them! I never thought I’d say that
Best of luck you guys will do great 
Tons of great advice, let me add that our pediatrician is great, but did not notice our Elly had a vision problem. When I brought it to her attention, she looked in her eyes and said she absolutely nothing wrong, but that she trusts my mom instinct and would like a specialist to see her. Turns out, she was 20/1200 in her right eye, with double vision, and Amblyopia.
You guys are such a great help and support system, thank you. I spoke with her second opti yesterday on the phone for 20 minutes and feel alot more confident and comfortable that we are doing is the right thing. Also I let the dr know about this site and ask him to pass it on for other parents that have the coping problem I did. Also to help other parents sometimes the cheap ops arent always the best I took Kylie to the walmart vision center in my area where they missed the diagnosis of amblyopia and gave her a much weaker RX, the original one i posted. Also they didnt even measure her eyes with the device that looks like huge space googles. Her dr at value vision was alot better with children and found the farsightness and amblyopia so her new script will be something like RT +4.00 -0.5 and LT +5.25 -0.5 after we get her eyes dialated they will determine the exact RX. I will keep you guys posted and again thank you all. =)
That’s great that your doctor was willing to take the time to help you through all your questions! Just one word of advice from my own experience and struggles, since your daughter has amblyopia (lazy eye), it will be very important that your little Kylie wears her glasses to help the weaker eye to work. Otherwise, she may need to do patching, which compared to wearing glasses is a much bigger struggle! Did the doctor say that she would have to patch because of the amblyopia? You’ll have to send a picture once she gets her glasses. I am sure she will be too cute!
No they did not say she would have to wear the eye patch. Her “lazy eye” is actually retro or something so its not severe or noticableat all. The dr. said the glasses should take care of it the right eye is just stronger and shes trained her brain to use it more and that made the left eye not work as hard. Ill send a pic when she gets them!
Thanks for the update (and the kind words about the site). It’s great that you found a doctor willing to take the time to talk with you and help you feel more comfortable. Doctors like that are worth their weight in gold! Keep us updated – I can’t wait to see the pictures.
I am so glad that I found this website. I have a 20 month-old little boy and we just found out today that he has Accomadative Estropia. I noticed about 2 months ago that his eye was turning in every once in a while (only when he is eating…bring the fork.spoon to his mouth). It has progressed to almost everytime he eats, but this is the only time. Today, his appt was the consultation, I have eye drops to administer for the next 3 days to dialate his eyes. After taking about 10 pics, they noticed the turning in about 3 pics. The OP (who specializes in this field is great!) said she is pretty sure he is farsighted and that he has AE. We will find out more next week when we go for the eye exam.
I have to admit, I feel extremely selfish when I look at my child and think about the negatives of his medical condition. I am worried about him having to wear glasses, people staring and asking questions and so forth. I know that it doesn’t matter and I am blessed to have a healthy child. It just sucks! So, thank you all that have shared and continue to share your stories. It makes it easier for the newbies, like myself. I will keep everyone updated.
Sorry…”Accomodative”
Welcome Alicia! Oh I can so relate to feeling upset about the diagnosis. You’re right that it could be worse, but it’s still hard to deal with, and I don’t think we should be too hard on ourselves for being a little upset. I think one of the things that was hard for me was that glasses are so visible. Everyone can see that your child wears glasses and that definitely increases the number of comments. And I don’t like that Zoe is known as the “one with glasses” but she’d probably be defined by her appearance some other way, and the good news is that almost all the comments have been positive, and kids in glasses really are extremely cute.
Keep us updated on how the exam goes next week! You’ll have to send in a picture, too once he’s in his glasses. I’m sure he’ll look great.
I just wanted to chime in… My son (now 5) has worn glasses since he was 3. He is farsighted and has a lazy eye. We’ve had a lot of experience with patching, glasses, and vision therapy. I know that lots of people think that glasses will somehow detract from their child- people will ask questions or there will be social stigma. We have never found that to be the case. People make “pirate” comments with the patch, but my son shrugs it off or laughs. Really, at such a young age there is no stigma with the glasses, there is no big deal. They become part of him. He plays rough-and-tumble, he does everything with them on. He puts them on first thing, takes them off before bed.
It is perfect! It slips over the lens of his glasses, covers everything and is comfortable.
Really!
My husband sewed his patch
Now, my 6 month old baby is getting glasses (farsighted as well). I’m interested to see how this will go and I am suspecting he will be getting A LOT of attention in the supermarket!
Anyway, just wanted to share that I think a lot of people are dissapointed when their young child needs glasses. That somehow, they won’t be as beautiful. Or that they are not perfect. Or they imagine the “worst case scenario” in terms of social situations. But really, it is not all that bad
Hi Alex, thanks for sharing! I have to agree with you, that no it is not so bad. As for your 6-month old, be prepared for a lot of comments. We never got negative comments. Most comments were things like, “wow I can’t believe she keeps these glasses on” or “I did not know they make glasses this small.” It is really a great way to talk to people and even encourage them to have their children’s eyes checked, just in case. You mentioned you went through vision therapy with your son. We are also in the process of doing this with our daughter against our PO’s recommendation. Our insurance does not cover it, but we are seeing results, so I am willing to continue. What was your experience?
This is such a helpful website–and this article is great. I just found out my 2 year old needed glasses and I was devastated. I had no clue what to expect, how to get her to wear her glasses. At least now I have a better idea!
Thanks for the kind words, Jennifer. I know it’s overwhelming to hear that your toddler needs glasses. Please feel free to post any questions or concerns you run in to – we’ve got a great group here for support.
We’d love to see a picture of your daughter in her new glasses, too!
This web page is great.
I just found out our 21 month old has accomodative esotropia due to farsightedness. Our son is also a premie, born at 25 wks gestation, although we have been so lucky as he is doing extremely well given such a rough start. We have regular check up on his eyes due to being prem but he doesn’t appear to have ROP. When his eyes started turning a few months back we let it slide since we had an appointment a few months away & figured we mention it then. A few weeks before the appointment we started to notice it more than just when he was eating and of course now I am overwhelmed with guilt of not trying to get in sooner…. would seeing the PO when we first saw the eye turn change the results??
So now we start a new roller coaster of doctors appointments… which we’re up for, but concerned about living in a small community and choices for glasses, experience fitting ect.
To add more to our story we also have a 3 month old son… born full term… and I’m now concerned he could develop the same eye condition. When should he be looked at??
This web page has really helped me!
Thanks for your efforts!
Hi Keri, I am glad you found this site, there is some wonderful information on here and many parents, including Ann Z the moderator have gone through the very same thing with their children. I don’t believe that had you brought your son into the PO sooner, would have changed the outcome on his eye turn. The problem with strabismus is that if it goes undetected for too long and is not corrected with glasses, it can lead to amblyopia. This is when the brain starts blocking out the signals from the weaker eye (the eye that turns in) and decides only to use the better working eye. This of course decreases vision in the eye that is not being used. This is fixed by patching the good eye to work the weaker eye. But it is much harder to patch than to put on glasses! Our daughter has infantile esotropia from birth and we have been patching, surgery, and glasses for over two years now. We are now doing vision therapy as well! I know what it is like to have younger children and an “older” child with medical problems as we have four children four and under and the oldest has a hearing loss amongst many other problems and then Ellie has the eye problems since birth. Thankfully the two youngest one’s are healthy so far. Sorry, I am rambling…. Our pediatrician recommended our youngest ones should see a PO at age 6 months to rule out vision problems. Anyways, hang in there, the first few weeks can be rough adjusting to a new routine! You son is a trooper, he has been through a lot! I am sure he will adjust easily! Let us see a picture of him when he gets his glasses! I am sure he will be so cute! Take care!
Hi Keri, and welcome! Please don’t feel bad about waiting to with his eyes turning. You’ve still caught the esotropia very early on, and it’s likely that the few months won’t have made a difference. Zoe’s eye first started turning around 8 months, we saw a PO at 9 months and the PO actually told us to wait a bit since she wasn’t too farsighted at that appointment. She didn’t get glasses until 14 months.
I think your second son should be examined some time between 6 and 12 months, he does have a higher likelihood of having accommodative esotropia, though the chances are around 1 in 4, so he may be just fine.
I saw your other comment about the worry that glasses and eye appointments will be overwhelming. I have to admit, there are times when I felt like I lived at the eye doctor’s and the glasses shop, but the appointments are getting more and more spread out – we now only have appointments every 6 months. There’s a fantastic blog about a boy who was also born very prematurely (http://snowdeal.org/section/ex_machina/), he wears glasses for ROP, and is nearly 5 years old – plays hockey and is basically a normal nearly 5 year old. I read about him getting glasses before we ever knew Zoe had a problem, and reading his story made me feel better about kids in glasses being just fine.
Keep us updated on how things go!
Thanks for your advise Corrie,
We’re moving on now & I’ve stopped getting myself all worked up with internet info! Now I’m researching glasses options & tips for advice on starting out. One worry I still have is that glasses and all the appointments to come will take away some of that childhood freedom. But I suppose notnot beeing able to see would be worse!
All the best with your family. You must be one super mom!
No. I wish I was.
I know it is overwhelming and in the beginning you will be going to the doctor more often, but once they get the prescription right and hopefully fix his eye turn, you may only have to go every six months to a year. Hopefully, you will be able to find a great place for glasses for your little guy and someone will take the time to be sure they fit well. From personal experience, it would be good to have a warranty on the glasses as they can break easily. Ellie is not really a rough kid, but she has broken her glasses three times and we had to have them completely replaced. We have an unconditional one year warranty on both the frames and the lenses which means if our PO changes her prescription during that year, they will fill the new prescription lenses for free. At this age, it is definitely worth the extra cost! The internet is great, but it is also overwhelming! There are some tips on this website for starting out kids with their glasses. I think the biggest thing is consistency! Once your son realizes how much better he can see, he will ask for his glasses!
All the best to you and your family!!
Great site! I just found out today that my 4 yr old needs glasses and I am having a very hard time dealing i\with it! She is already extremely tall (just turned 4 and is 1 in shy of 4 ft tall) so now I feel like she will really stand out when she goes to school!
I have been trying to be positive and let her know that she is going to get to pick out some cool glasses!
Wonderful site!
Hi Michelle, glad you found this site! It can bring you a lot of encouragement and help! I know it is tough when we have to put our kids through hard things to adapt to, but they take it so much easier than we (her parents) do! I have a four-year-old like you that wears a hearing aid and has to wear headgear as much as possible during the day and at night. She feels like it is the most normal thing in the world and although other kids ask what she has on or why she talks different (her hearing loss was detected late), they have never picked on her or made fun of her. I also have a two-year-old that has been wearing glasses since she is nine months old and although people often comment on them (especially since she also has to patch), it does not seem to bother her. I am sure that your daughter will be absolutely beautiful in her glasses and being tall makes her stand out above her peers, so they will be too afraid to pick on her.
I can’t believe she is so tall! She would make our shorty look like a dwarf. 
Does it run in the family? Do send Ann Z a picture of her if you like. We would love to see her in her glasses! Finding cute glasses can be a challenge sometimes, but there are many recommendations on this site, so don’t give up! Hang in there! Before you know it, they will have become so much a part of your daughter, you will feel like something is missing when her glasses are not on her nose.
My 3-year old has lazy eye and also misaligned eyes. We tried the patch, which was very difficult. He also has glasses, which at first he would not wear. He was really complaining about seeing two of everything (which was heart breaking to me) and for the past couple of weeks he has been wearing his glasses all of the time. I assume they actually make him feel better. We go back to the eye doctor this week. She feels that he will need surgery, but we will know for sure this week. I am scared.
Hi Theresa and welcome! I’m glad your son is wearing his glasses now, does he still complain about seeing double?
Please keep us updated and let us know how the appointment this week goes. I know that fear of hearing the “surgery” word. In some ways, the fear leading up to it was harder than the surgery itself.
The PO said Elly saw double as well, but she was too young to tell us. I can’t imagine how hard that would be for an on the move toddler! I am hoping the patching helped, but we are also looking at surgery for her eyes turning out (possibly around the age of 5)
My son is 9 years old has astigmatism and is nearsighted. He was breastfed from birth till age 1. My husbands vision is fine mine is at about -4.75. I didn’t wear glasses until age 20.My son is at -6.50 and -6.75. Why and how did this happen?Im so worried about his eyes getting worse. He started wearing glasses at age 5 and they keep getting worse.
Welcome Mimi! From everything I’ve read, vision problems like this are usually either hereditary, or just something that happens some times, and nothing you did or didn’t do could change it.
Unfortunately, most children who are nearsighted will continue to get more nearsighted throughout their childhood and no one knows quite why (I just asked Dr. Bonilla-Warford about this). You might want to check out the post I just wrote about some promising developments with ortho-k stopping the progression of nearsightedness – http://littlefoureyes.com/2009/07/08/possible-method-of-slowing-the-progression-of-nearsightedness-in-children-smart-trial/
Good luck to you and your son. I know it has to be frustrating to see his vision get worse at each appointment.
Looking for help…our 20 month old started with patching due to an eye turning in…she did great with the patch, no issues. Patching was successful for a few months…then her “good” eye started to turn in as well. Never at the same time (which I guess is technically a good thing because her brain was still using both eyes). We were given a prescription and she has been wearing her glasses with no issues. Adjusted great…however, her eyes are still turning in about 4 days into wearing her glasses. I am SO sad. I had such high hopes for the glasses helping her eyes.
She was a champ with the patch and now with the glasses it really bugs me nothing is helping her! Do we “wait” it out? Do her eyes need to adjust to utilizing the glasses or should she be taken in ASAP for a prescrip change? (the PO told me to bring her back in a month after he gave me the prescription.)
Sorry if I am posting this in the wrong place, just looking for some help.
Hi Chantel, This is a fine place to post, though if you want, I’m happy to post this as a blog post on the front page. We always were told to wait at least a couple of weeks after getting a new prescription to see how her eyes adjusted, so I would give it the month. I know how hard it is to see those eyes cross, though!
What great news that she doesn’t need to patching any more, though!
Keep us updated on how things are going.
Hi. I’m new to this site and virtually new to any type of support group. But I have a 4 year old daughter with strabismus due to farsightedness and I feel so alone sometimes. I’ve been reading other peoples stories and I think I need to talk to people who understand what we’re going through because they’ve been through it as well.
A little about my daughter. Shortly after her 3rd birthday (Oct. 08) we noticed her left eye turning in. Right away I made an appointment and she was in glasses within 2 months. Her Rx is about a +3.5 in the left and slightly lower in the right. Things were great for about 2 months then we noticed crossing again and it was in her other eye as well (I guess that’s the accomodative part of it, no ambliopia). Dr. put her in a bifocal and she’s been in the same Rx since (this was about Feb 09). She had a follow up back in May and he said she looks good and to come back in 6 months. Well, I now am noticing crossing again and I’m waiting to take her back in to see why. I’m figuring her Rx has changed but I guess what I’m trying to know is whether anyone else has the same situation as me. The bifocals help alot. I don’t notice crossing when she uses them but it’s the top part of the glasses that I do, at distance.
Having my daughter in glasses breaks my heart sometimes. I have a hard time dealing with it and the bifocal makes those feelings worse sometimes especially with pictures because you see this line across her pupil. A lot of people say how cute she is with her glasses and she is so cute with them but it’s hard not to feel alone.
I appreciate this site a lot and glad I came across it. Thanks.
Gretchen, our story is EXACTLY like yours!! Shortly after my daughters 3rd birthday (this Sept. 09) we noticed her left eye turning in when she would be looking at things close up. We just saw a Pediatric Opthomologist yesterday and she prescribed her glasses with bifocals. We should be getting them in next week.
I also feel very alone. Somewhere I read that they feel like “A loss of a face they’ve stared at for 3 yrs” and that’s exactly how I feel! I feel bad and guilty for being upset about this, and I know she’ll look “cute”…but there’s so much more to be worried about than to be happy about. Obviously I’m happy that we caught it in the very beginning and should be ok in the future, but I’m scared of these next few years. Will she get made fun of? Will the help her? How will I know if her prescription is changing? Will she fight me on wearing them? How many times will her brother who’s 1 break them?! Will she have long term problems? And so on and so on.
Thanks for posting your story…its nice to know others are out there going through the same thing.
I hope your daughter is well
)
Thanks,
Erin
Hi Erin
I check in now and then to this blog and was reading your story and saw that you responded to me so I thought I’d respond back.
It’s so scary in the beginning and every time something changes it gets a little scary again but you can’t let your daughter know that. I don’t know how many times I started crying in the Drs office and had to compose myself for her. It’s a hard thing to deal with. My daughter’s funny. She never is upset about her glasses. She takes it like a pro. She tells people, before they can even say anything to her, that her glasses “help me to focus better”. She’s never had anyone(kids, her brother,etc.) say anything negative about them. I think one time a kid asked why her glasses were broken (the bifocal) but she just tells them “they help me to focus”. Silly.
We just started vision therapy with her and I’m dying to know if there’s any improvement. We see the therapist on Monday, her first appt since starting 6 weeks ago. Fingers crossed but preparing for the “no improvement” I’m optimistic though. We’ll still keep trying even if that’s the case. That’s the thing. You can never give up.
Things will get a little easier but when things change(Rx, etc.) it does get you down again but just know that you’re not alone.
As far as knowing when your daughters Rx changes, believe me, you’ll know. Head turn, looking over the top, maybe crossing again. That’s what happened with us this last time.
Hang in there and try to be positive as much as you can. You did catch it early and just know that you’re doing the best thing for her. It WILL just become who she is but won’t outshine her.
Take care,
Gretchen
Hi Gretchen! And welcome. I know that some of the readers here have kids in bifocals, and that they can do wonders for straightening out the eyes of some of the kids with strabismus. I would agree with your instinct that she might have a change in prescription, are you able to get in before her 6 month appointment?
It can be so hard to see our little ones in glasses. Just know that you are doing the absolute best thing for her vision by putting her in the glasses, and I have no doubt that she looks wonderful in them. If you’re willing, we’d love to have her picture in our photo gallery!
I’m making an appointment this week to get her in ASAP which may be a week or so from now. Her Dr is pretty good about getting us in quickly so I’ll just have to see.
My daughter also has a twin brother who doesn’t wear glasses. I’ve had his eyes checked also by her Dr and his vision is good. I know I’m doing the very best thing for her by taking charge of her vision and doing something about it. I guess you can say I have my bad days and good days which I’m sure everyone here does. It’s just hard to have twins and have one with such bad vision and one with great vision. They’re two different people but as a mother they’re so much the same sometimes (a team).
I’ll let you know what the outcome is with her appointment. Thanks for the support.
Hi. We just had our daughters appointment today and her Rx has gotten worse. Like 1.5 increase. I had a feeling this was the reason why her eyes were crossing again but I didn’t expect it to be so much.
So now the topic of surgery has come up. My choice is to try vision therapy first and get a second opinion. I have a feeling that regardless of the new Rx her eyes will continue to get worse and cross. I’m confused about surgery for her condition. Different things that I’ve read is that surgery is never recommended for accomodative esotropia but if the glasses are failing then it is. But should I do surgery even though the glasses do help but the crossing only occurs when her Rx changes. I’m confused.
Any one with good outcomes from vision therapy? I’m scared to jump into surgery without trying it first. Any advise is greatly appreciated. Thanks.
Hi Gretchen. It is common for farsighted children’s prescriptions to get worse in the beginning. I don’t understand why, but I found a few articles that talk about that being normal – Zoe’s prescription did the same thing, though the stronger prescription never fully stopped the crossing.
Here’s my understanding of the surgery and accomodative esotropia question (understanding that I am not a doctor). In most cases of accomodative esotropia, surgery is not recommended. But in about 1/4 of the cases, there is an element of crossing that is not related to being farsighted – known as “partial accomodative esotropia.” In those cases, the surgery done should only correct the eye crossing that isn’t corrected by glasses. So, if the glasses are correcting her eye turn – even if you have to keep increasing the prescription – then surgery is not a good option, and I would look for a second opinion. If her eyes continue to cross, even with a new prescription, then I would consider the surgery. Basically, the surgery cannot correct farsightedness, glasses can, so if the crossing is due only to farsightedness, surgery would not be a good idea.
Zoe had the surgery a year ago, after we’d tried a few different prescriptions, and her eyes continued to cross. She still wears glasses, and with her glasses, her eyes are straight. When she takes off her glasses, they still cross a little bit, which Zoe’s PO tells me is expected.
We haven’t done vision therapy, so I can’t comment on that, Zoe is still a little young to reliably do the exercises on her own. I think a few other readers have their kids in vision therapy, though.
Good luck again, and keep us updated. I hope the new prescription is all that’s needed for your daughter.
Im just so happy to have found you all!! I just found out today my daughter Addison (18 mo.) needs glasses due to accommodative esotropia. Its comforting to know that my heartache im having right now is normal. I feel as if I am mourning the loss of a face I have looked at for almost two years, because its changing. I wanted to ask if anyone else’s childs vision was almost an overnight change… Addison went to bed and the next morning her eye was crossing. Now three days later it just keeps getting worse and worse. I feel like how could this happen within 24 hours!? Hoping someone else can relate and that their experience was similar. Would love to hear. Thanks so much. Now onto the tough part… Getting her to wear her glasses, this should be interesting!
Hi Amy, welcome! Your comment “I feel as if I am mourning the loss of a face I have looked at for almost two years”, wow, that nearly perfectly expresses how I felt a year and a half ago. It does get better – you’ll find that her face is still there, and still as beautiful as ever, but what you’re feeling is very normal.
Zoe’s onset wasn’t quite as sudden as Addison’s, but I have heard other stories of very quick changes in eyes. If you think about how quickly they’re growing at that age, maybe it’s similar.
Keep us updated and let us know how the new glasses work. I hope your Addison takes to them well!
Thanks so much for responding Ann. Its very comforting to know that im not the only one going through this. I have felt very alone in this for the past couple of days. I wanted to see if anyone else has noticed that their child seems extra sleepy and frustrated due to their eye condition at the beginning of their diagnosis. Addison has been sleeping more and seems to need more comfort lately, more blanket, paci, baby, mommy. Just thinking maybe its because shes confused as to why she cant see as well as she used to and is frustrated? I dont know!?
always trying to figure this little girl out. I would know what some of you think. We pick up her glasses tomorrow, so nervous! Thanks so much!
Amy, I didn’t notice anything before Zoe got her glasses, but 2 weeks after we first got her glasses, we had to send them back for an adjustment to the prescription. She was noticeably tired and rubbed her eyes a lot and took really long naps (which I would have loved if the naps hadn’t been due to her eyesight).
I can definitely agree that poor eyesight will make a child extremely tired and moody. Our daughter had esotropia from birth, and we have struggled with her vision ever since. I could always tell when her prescription was changing or her eyesight was getting worse as she would be tired and really grumpy when she was little. Even now, when we went to full time patching from six hours a day patching, she was very tired the first few days. I agree with Ann Z in that a toddler grows so fast and in every aspect that it can be a very sudden change in vision. It is just like when a child gets leg pain that is simply caused by the body growing so fast that the muscle, etc. can keep up. It can be tough to keep the glasses on in the beginning, but if you are persistent and loving about it, your little Addison will soon realize that she can see better with them and that she does not get tired as easily as she did before. All the best to you! You are NOT alone in what you are going through or feeling!
Connie, thank you so much. Such a comforting message to get before I go to bed. All of this has just worried me so much that its nice to know that what she is doing is fairly normal for a baby that is having a difficult time seeing. I started to get scared that it might be something more serious since she is wanting to sleep so much. It brings me much peace to hear your experience. I havent slept in 5 days since her eye started crossing, but since finding this site, its helping me relax and know that shes okay and shes just going to need glasses for some time!! How old is your daughter now? Thanks again
You are welcome! I know it is so difficult to wrap your head around what is going on with your daughter and how you can help her cope! I have a four-year-old that has a hearing loss and our daughter with esotropia is now three, and I am here to tell you that children know so much better to cope with these things than their parents.
They adapt and get used to a new way of living while we struggle so much with accepting that this is the way life is! I can’t say that I have learned to master the skill of counting my blessings, but when I feel down, I pay the children’s hospital a visit and immediately I am reminded how good I have it! Our children immediately pick up when we are stressed and worried about something that is going on with them and it immediately transfers over to them. So, I try my best to stay calm and relaxed and help them make it through the adjustment the best way possible. All the best to you again! Let us know how it all goes with Addison! Take care of yourself!
sorry. I meant “corrie”
Hi Amy. I felt a need to respond to you because I have a very similar experience with my daughter.
She too has accomodative esotropia and her eyes started crossing literally overnight. We were just sitting at the diner table and my husband said “have you noticed that her eye is crossing” and that’s when it all started. She had just turned 3. At first we only noticed it sometimes but as the days went on it was more constant. It was 2 months before we got her in glasses (d.mn HMOs)=)
Now it’s been almost a year and she just had an appointment and her eyes got a little worse. She also wears a bifocal to help with the additional support for close up work.
I’m also fairly new to this site and have had a hard time dealing with this. I totally can relate with you when you say you’re mourning the lose of a face. It’s hard to look back at pictures and see those beautiful eyes, so full of life. But it just becomes who they are and you grow to adore the glasses and how darn cute they are in them. I forget about them most of the time because it’s just who she is now. And I know you’ll feel the same way. The eyes are still there.
This site has been so helpful for me, to cope, and relate to other parents. It’s nice to know that you are not alone. Thanks Ann for this…..
Think I might have posted this in the wrond spot last time!
My son is 4 1/2 and we have just found out that he has a prescription of +7.50 in both eyes – his eyes have never turned in that I have noticed and aside from not being very good at ball sports he has no other symptoms – I can’t believe that I haven’t noticed something sooner when his prescription is so high. There is no family history of farsightedness. I got this prescription about a week ago from my optometrist (who is fabulous) and now have a 3 month wait to get into the opthamologist. Since we saw the optometrist I have noticed that he’s constantly running into things and is really tired (which I’ve been told is quite normal with this degree of longsightedness), however I don’t believe he had these symptoms before…could his eyes be getting worse??? The wait to see the opthamologist is awful, I just want some answers now!!! So glad to find this website as it is hard to find answers, and hard to find other kids with such a high script, so it is a bit of relief that there are other kids out there that are +8 and doing well with glasses, thank-you!! Also dawn, I’m also in Australia, would you be able to pass on the name of your optometrist that’s making the thin glasses?? Thanks
H Renee,
I know it is hard to comprehend that your child has a vision loss, especially that severe and never noticing anything wrong! However, kids adapt EXTREMELY well and it can go undetected so easily, which is why more and more pediatricians are recommending having the eye sight checked much sooner than when going to kindergarten. Have you gotten glasses for him yet or are you waiting on the PO’s appointment? Your son may have just gone through a growth spurt and causing his eyesight to get worse in a small amount of time. We have a friend, who was 12 when she was first diagnosed with a 7.5 prescription in her left eye and severe amblyopia. No one ever knew she couldn’t see on the left eye because she just accomodated and didn’t even notice herself that she couldn’t see well. I wish you the best! I know the wait is grueling, but it will soon be over!
I meant to send a response yesterday to you, but I couldn’t find your post anymore.
Hi Renee – I meant to reply to you earlier, but I think I never hit submit (sorry). I wonder if your son is just getting used to his glasses and that’s what’s leading to his running in to things. When a kid is farsighted (longsighted), they can adjust and accommodate quite well to the prescription, but it causes straining. It sounds like your son really adjusted to his strong farsightedness since he was doing so well with sports and such. So it might take him a bit to get adjusted to the glasses and not having to strain so hard to focus.
Where in Australia are you? There are a few regular readers in Australia, so hopefully you can get a good recommendation.
Hi, thanks so much for responding, we are still waiting for the PO’s appointment before we get glasses as my optometrist wanted us to get a second opinion. Maybe he has had a growth spurt or something and that is the reason for his clumsiness and tiredness all of a sudden. I will just have to wait for november when we see the PO!! We are in Sydney, just near Manly. Thanks again.
Hi Ladies. I am new to this site. We just found out today my 4yr old daughter Madysen has to get glasses. She has accomadative astrphia with farsightness. Her scrpt is hight.. a 6.5 in one eye and a 7.5 in the other. I am worried sick over this. I am so afraid she will hate the glasses, she is saying she wants her face pain. She is breaking my heart.. plus someone told me the glasses would be really thick and destort her eyes. Please help with any advice
sorry I ment to say she wants her face plain.. I really am enjoying reading all of the comments on here. I hope one of you has a similar situation with a high prescription. How do they do with such a strong pair of glasses?
Hi Tami, nice to hear of someone in a similar situation to us! My son Toby is also 4 and we have just found out he needs glasses. We got in to see the paediatric opthamologist yesterday after I rang and said I was really worried about him (our previous appointment was the 10th November!). Anyhow, he has given him a prescription of +8.0 in his right eye and +8.50 in his left eye, but he only wants his prescription in his glasses to be +5.0 and +5.50. So he has farsightedness and amblyopia. We have since gone back to our optometrist to choose his glasses and are now waiting for them to be made. So not sure how thick the lenses will be when we get them but the optometrist said he will grind them down as much as possible or they will fall off his face!! We chose the titanium flex ones as he said they are the best for a kid this age as they literally spring back into shape. He scrunched them up in his hand and they just bounced back into shape!
Not sure what to say about her not wanting to wear glasses – Toby is really excited because another kid in his class has glasses and also he realises that he will be able to see much better with them – his younger brother is jealous – he wants a pair too! The opthamologist said he will be a completely different child with glasses as he doesn’t realise at the moment how much he can’t see properly and will probably love books, puzzles etc even more. Anyhow, sorry about me rambling on, I will let you know how we go when we get them.
Hi Renee. I am so glad I found this site. I think it help to talk to other moms going through this too. We took Madysen to 2 docs. the first one said her eys were a 10.5 and 9.0 but her was putting her in a 6.50 and a 6.0 for the glasses. So yesterday we took her to this other doc… she said her eyes were a 7.5 and a 6.o and she was giving her the while script??? I am so annoyed that they both saw something different and now I am not sure who I should listen to?? I plan on taking her tomorrow to get the glasses filled but now I am questioning which presciption to use.. I like the docotr yesterday much better then the man we saw last week.
Tami – from what I’ve read I believe that doctors often have differing opinions on prescriptions. I know there has been a lot of good discussion on that topic on this site. I also recommend calling the doctor that you prefered and discuss the two prescriptions with them. If they are a good doctor they will take the time and probably give you the answers you are looking for. Her lenses will be a bit thicker for the slim lenses, but they won’t distort her eyes too much. They will appear to be a bit larger, but they shouldn’t look abnormal. Just a tip for your first time purchasing – go with an optical store that offers some type of warranty. Trust me you will need it! My daughter has had glasses since 20 months & we go through at least 3 to 4 sets of frames in a year. She is nearing 4 and is much more thoughtful when it comes to her glasses, but she also has a little brother who likes to pick them up and twist them around. The warranty is definitely a must have! Also – Ann has lots of pictures of our kids with their glasses & several recommended books that may help her get used to her glasses. Aubrie’s glasses definitely made a HUGE difference in my little girls life. It opened up a world that she hadn’t been able to see before, and it also prevented her eyes from crossing. Just think – your little girl will finally be able to see your face when you are close up – that just blew my mind when Aubrie was diagnosed! Best of luck! Annie
Thanks for the advice, we are going tomorrow to pick them out and I decided to go with the first doctors prescrption. He is very wellknown and I think her has a more postive outlook on the situation:) Ill kepp you posted. Ps. I read her Princess peepers for her bedtime story tonight(I changed it to be a little more postitve) but she was very excited about the glasses!!
Oh that’s wonderful Tami! Keep us posted on the progress! If you can keep her glasses as a positive and exciting new thing it will definitely help! Trust me in a few months this will all be normal stuff to you – I promise
Annie
Ok wish us luck we are on our way out the door to pick up Madysen’s glasses and I am not sure why but I am very nervous. I know I have read all of your comments and I think its normal to be afraid she is loosing her “face”. I love her glasses we pick out and without the lenses I loved them on her, but ever since her doctor told me her eyes would be “HUGE” and look distorted I have had these wild imaganations on what she would look like… wish us luck!! On a good note, Madysen is excited to go get them.. so lets hops she wears them:)
ok so now I am trying to post pictures.. I must be dumb ..I cant figure it out.. help:)
You can email them to Ann at ann@shinypebble.com & she will post for you. I hope all is going well, and that Mom & Madysen are adjusting to a life with glasses. Trust me in a few months she won’t look like her without them! Aubrie just started and preschool & she gets comments about how adorable her glasses are every day! They will be a great thing for her! Excited to see the pictures! ~Annie
Thanks Annie. I do like them and Madysen does too. She hasnt tried to take them off at all! I sent Ann the pictures so hopefully you can all see my baby soon. Thanks again.. this site has help me cope so much!!
Her picture is up – the glasses look great on her. I’m so happy that Madysen is doing well with them.
She’s absolutely adorable! I’m glad that everything is going well and she’s wearing them without any arguments! That definitely helps! Isn’t this website the best! I wish it was around when I found out about Aubrie’s eyes – would have helped me tremendously! Best of luck
~Annie
Thanks Annie. She is doing great! She doesnt want to take them off ! I think she can finally see! Everyone is making a huge deal of them too and telling her pretty she looks (which helps). I am so releived!
I am a little upset ..My daughter is three and very farsighted causing one eye to cross completely out of glasses. Her eye doctor told me today that she would probably have this problem forever, since it was due to farsightedness and not a muscle issue. He said there was nothing else to do, but keep her in glasses. My sons are in glasses and I am ok with that, but I am not ok with her having a crossed eye without them for the rest of her life. Getting a second oppinio! Does anyone have any similar stories, that would provide me with hope or advice?
How frustrating. I would make sure to get a 2nd opinion from a pediatric opthamologist and if needed a 3rd. Does her eyes cross when she has her glasses on? I know my 3 year old’s turns out when she doesn’t have her glasses on or is tired.
Tarah, I’d be upset by that, too. And I’d definitely go for a second opinion. If her eyes stay straight with glasses, then I think the doctor may be right. As kids get older, they’re better able to control their eye muscles and keep their eyes straight without glasses. Most adults I know that had accommodative esotropia now only have crossed eyes when they’re really tired. Zoe’s eyes do still cross when she isn’t wearing glasses, and she had surgery – but the surgery was only to correct what the glasses couldn’t.
Please keep us updated!
Tarah – I have that same response from my doctor as well. Aubrie’s eyes are perfectly straight in glasses, but without them her eyes do cross. I was very upset that it’s just going to be this way. I imagined all the situations when Aubrie wouldn’t have her glasses on (in the pool, etc) where she would be with friends and she’d have crossed eyes. I hate it for her – kids can be cruel and I just hope it doesn’t come to that in her life at any point. However, he said that about 50% of kids grow out of it when their older or it improves some. I’m trying to be optimistic about the situation. This year her eyes did improve, they are straight with glasses on, and she doesn’t need surgery. Those are all really great things! At some point he’s positive she can move to contacts so hopefully my fears of other kids taunting her will go away. I also remind myself there aren’t many times in her life she’s without her glasses because if her glasses are off – she can’t see. I hope that makes you feel a little better. It still stinks to know as parents nothing can be done, but just say some prayers that as she grows, her eyes will grow stronger as well
~Annie
I just want to cry right now (again!) We were told yesterday that our little princess (she just turned 3) needs glasses to fix her left eye from turning in when she’s looking at things close up. I have not been doing good with the news for ALL the reasons in the opening of this topic. I felt SO guilty for being upset about this, but it SO SO good to know others feel the same way. Everyone I’ve told so far says the usual “OH, she’ll be SO cute! Its not a big deal” but of course their kids don’t need to wear glasses. I know its the right thing to do, I just don’t want her to be known as “the one with glasses” (again like stated above). I want her to be known for herself and now for what she’s wearing. This site is A.W.E.S.O.M.E!! Thank you SO much for all of this information. I can’t wait to read as much as I can! I’m making sure that my daughter thinks I’m just as excited as she is about getting her new glasses and I’m thinking about doing a “photo shoot” with her when she gets them to make her feel special and beautiful! I can’t wait to read about how to keep other kids from tearing them off her face – oh and how to keep her 1 yr old brother from doing that too! I’m so freaked out about them breaking all the time and her prescription changing all the time and the growth of her head making it a need to constantly be getting new frames and kids making fun of her and so on and so on….so again, thank you for this site. You have started to put my mind at ease!
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Hi Erin, I am glad you found this site! I wish I would have found it a long time ago when we first got glasses for our daughter. She was nine months when she got her first pair! Anyways, our daughter is now three and I can’t imagine life without them. The glasses have become so much a part of her that when she doesn’t have them on, it is like there is something missing on her face. I know it is overwhelming having to imagine glasses on her and how to keep them on her and how to keep them from breaking, etc. I think the most important thing is to make sure that whereever you get them, they come with a very good warranty. We got our glasses at the optical store inside our eye doctor, but they are not very good quality. The first pair we picked up there was broken before we even made it home. (Not trying to scare you here.
). In fact, we have replaced that very pair of glasses four times in the past year! Fortunately, they were under an unconditional warranty. Meaning if they broke for any reason, we could bring them in, and they replaced them for free. They also replaced the lenses for free twice, once because the prescription changed and once because they were scratched. Ask all these things before you decide where to get the frames and lenses. I wish we would have gotten her a better quality frame that a toddler can’t break so easily! Yes, I also have a two-year-old and a one-year-old as well as a four-year-old that all try to take off her glasses or better yet want to wear them. So, it is a teaching and learning experience for the whole family! The best thing we did was to teach our daughter that no one is to touch her glasses except for grown-ups. So when a child wants to touch her glasses, she always comes to tell us. So far, they have not broken because of a child other than my daughter. 
Anyways, there are many parents with a lot of experience on here, so feel free to ask any questions you might have or vent your frustrations or get help for your problems. I know your little girl will be beautiful, and you won’t be able to imagine her without them in a few weeks from now!
Welcome Erin! Our daughters are very close in age – Zoe turned 3 earlier this month.
I just wanted to say that everything you’ve written is so familiar. I really relate to the fear of her being “the one with glasses.” And I won’t lie, Zoe has become “the one with glasses.” At her 3rd birthday party last weekend, a couple of other kids were putting on the Mr. Potato Head glasses and saying they were “being Zoe.” And that sounds kind of bad when I write it, but it was actually pretty sweet. All the kids just accepted that that was part of who she is now. I have no doubt that it will be harder as she gets older and kids get into the age of teasing, but at the moment, it’s not a big deal with the kids at daycare at all. With adults, by far the most comments we get are about her glasses, but they’re almost all positive.
If you don’t mind, I’ll post the question about younger siblings and pulling off the glasses as a separate post. I’ve wondered about that myself (Zoe’s an only child, so it hasn’t really been an issue for us).
Please keep us updated. I love the idea of doing a photo shoot when she gets her glasses! You’ll have to share any pictures if you do that Ann
Hi Erin. Dont feel alone.. just 2 months ago I was in your shoes. My daughter is 4 and I was crying so hard the day I found out she needed glasses for the same things. I know its hard to believe but in a few weeks you will look back on the tears and laugh a little (although we all have cried) Madysen is doing great. All her friends are obsessed with her glasses.. her preschool friends all go home and tell their moms they want glasses!! She gets stoppped just as often to be told how pretty she is and she can see so much more. We never knew she had a problem and with the glasses she can ride her bike better and just see everything so much better! She feels great in them to .. we just went and got her her 2nd pair! It does get easier!! Oh and she has a 1yr old brother and he has never touched her glasses! I know today it feels like you are losing her as you know her but they day Mady got her glasses it was a bit strange and withing 2 days I felt like she was ment to wear them. Glasses are so common now for little ones and its cool to wear them in school.. your daughter will do great and be a beautiful little princess!!
Thanks so much! You all are the best and this website is amazing!! I’m still nervous, but I’m starting to get a little excited as well!
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I have a question…do most of you have a back up pair of glasses for your little ones incase they break them? I’m not sure if I should just get two pairs right off the bat? I’m kind of impatient to get this started (since we’ve been told she needs them) and hate this 10 day waiting for them to come in. I’m just thinking ahead and I’d hate for her to break them and then I need to sit and wait another 10 days for them to come in, when technically she should be wearing them ALL the time. Also, there’s a site out there called zenni optical that has really cheap glasses online. If I know her prescription, is there any reason I should hesitate to use sites like this? Our insurance only pays for 1 pair a year, unless her prescription changes within the 1st 6 months. Maybe I’m getting too ahead of myself. Hmm…
We didn’t get a back up pair for Zoe her first year in glasses, but then I read a comment somewhere about having two pairs of glasses for back-up, but also so that you give your child some choice in the matter. They have to wear the glasses, but with two pair, they can choose which they feel like wearing each day. We have two pair for Zoe now and I LOVE it and would absolutely recommend it if you can afford to do it. Our insurance doesn’t cover glasses at all, but the eye glasses shop was running a buy one get the second half off deal. Her two frames are very different from one another, one is red and round, the other blue and more rectangular (librarian-like). Right now, one pair is in the shop getting new lenses because of scratches, so it’s very nice that she has her other pair to wear while waiting for them to be fixed.
As for Zenni, we ordered prescription sunglasses from there and were pretty pleased with how it went. You need to still have a place that will be willing to adjust the glasses for her, because they probably won’t fit when they arrive, and if they don’t fit, she probably won’t wear them. You’ll also want to get her pupilary distance (PD) from her eye doctor. It’s extremely important to get that number right, especially with strabismus and with bifocals. If it’s wrong, it’ll lead to eye strain and can keep her eyes from staying straight. But her doctor or optician should be able to get that measurement for you. Otherwise, we went to Costco optical and had them do the measurement for Zoe – though she doesn’t have bifocals. I do have a page about ordering online – http://littlefoureyes.com/collected-wisdom/ordering-glasses-for-your-children-online/
Hi Erin,
Good luck.
Just wanted to say how happy I am that you found this website also. It really saved me the first couple of weeks that I found out my Daughter Addison (20 months) needed glasses. I was the one that had posted that I feel as if im mourning the loss of a face I have looked at for over a year. I still struggle with it some and we still have issues with getting her to wear them. Its been a couple of months and its getting easier to deal with. So, hang in there and everyone on here is so helpful, so post every feeling and problem, I sure did
Thanks Amy. Your posting about “the loss of a face” touched me so much. Besides worrying about her site in the future, that statement sums up all of my other fears. If I knew she wouldn’t feel different, I don’t think I’d be so worried. But I remember being in junior high and high school and I remember the things that were said to and about those wearing glasses
( I need to just work through these feelings I have because she NEEDS the glasses and it is good for the health of her eyes. She will be cute and adorable and we’ll just have to take those problems on one by one when we get to them. This is what I’m telling myself over and over. My husband has been pretty quiet about all of this, but I just found him going through the photo’s of her on the computer from this past year. I think he’s feeling the same way I am, but trying to be the “everything’s cool” one in our relationship in an attempt to not worry me. I’m rambling. Thank you again for your support! I plan on filling you all in once we get her “sexy specs.” LOL 
)
Hey Erin. I bought Madysen 2 pairs because I was afraid if and when they cant her prescription she would be without a pair while they fixed the prescription. I figured it would be better to have a back up pair. I also agree with giving her choices.. she is so girly that she loves to pick out her own outfits and she decided which pair she wants to wear!! Have you checked out the pics yet on here.. it really was fun to look at when I found this site a few months back. I added Madysen to the pictures too!!
oh Also I have been told by so many mothers and teachers.. its not like it used to be with kids and glasses.. meaning they dont get made fun of anymore like they did when we were kids.. having glasses is the cool thing to do .. all Madys friends in preschool go home and tell their moms they want glasses just like her.. I also heard that at least 15% of kids will have them in Kindergarten now!!
I read something that the 4-5% of kids have strabismus/amblyopia is also higher, they believe. So I guess it’s not as uncommon as you would think. I see so many kids in glasses now. I guess times are just different than they used to be and things are being caught sooner now. As our kids get older they won’t be the only one in glasses in their class. My daughter is the only one in her preschool right now. But it won’t always be that way. It really doesn’t matter one way or the other because I think the glasses just make her more unique.
That sounds right Gretchen. One study said about 5% of preschoolers should be in glasses (so 1 out of 20) – though the number of kids that actually have glasses at that age is lower than that. I think there’s more emphasis now on eye screenings and exams, so more parents are catching eye problems early with their kids. Zoe’s the only one in her daycare with glasses, too, but there’s another little boy in her Sunday School class that wears glasses.
Thanks again girls. I’m feeling better about getting treatment now, but I’m concerned about her prescription. We were at the Optical place today and the lady that was helping us looked at her prescription and said “Wow, that’s a strong script for a very non-noticeable problem!” and I of course was very concerned when she said this and asked what she meant by that. She said that she sees kids several times a month for the past 5 years and she’s never seen one this high. The numbers mean nothing to me!
Her script is for just a +1 for both R & L eyes, but the bifocals are +2.75 on each eye. This lady said that she usually only sees between a 1 & 2 for bifocals. Do these numbers sound alarming to any of you?!
I’m freaking out right now that they’re going to be way too strong and make her strain & give her headaches
( I just called and scheduled us with another doc in a different practice for a 2nd opinion. It will make me feel much better if he agrees with the 1st diagnosis & prescription, but if he disagrees…wow. THEN WHAT?! I mean this is my daughters vision we’re talking about!! I REFUSE to let someone mess it up! But I don’t know anything about this!! Sigh…
I don’t think those numbers sound all that high, Erin, though I’m not speaking from experience, just what I’ve heard other people talk about. Zoe is a +4.5 in both eyes, no bifocals.
If you get the second opinion and they disagree, ask each doctor to talk you through why they are making their recommendation and prescription. Unfortunately, this isn’t an exact science – that’s what our PO told us. They do the best they can with kids, but when they’re so little, it isn’t nearly as precise as when we go in and do our eye tests. What you’re looking for is a doctor that can explain why they’re making the decisions they are, and who seems to really understand your child, and treat them as an individual.
Why are my sad faces coming out not looking like sad faces??! Must be HTML.
<–did that one work?
Hi Erin,
Well my daughter’s bifocal is a +3. I’ve been told it’s high too and sometimes I think it is cuz when she looks through them her eyes are sometimes like Whoa, cuz it magnifies everything. I’ve asked her PO about this but he feels it’s right. Hopefully we can start gradually bringing it down and wean her off of them.
There’s nothing wrong with a second opinion. We got one from the optomitrist that does the vision therapy and he thinks it’s a little high, Rx and bifocal, but she seems to be doing okay with it. If there is improvement with the therapy then I’ll be sure to get her eyes dialated to see if we can bring it down. I don’t know how many times someone at those eye glass places try to put their two cents in. Don’t let them scare you by saying how thick they’re going to be or how noticable the bifocal will be. You’ll be surprised how wrong they usually are.
One girl got me crying because she said the bifocal will be very noticable and thick and I get the glasses and the thickness is very well hidden and the bifocal is not nearly as bad as she was saying. You really don’t notice it that much. Get your second opinion to be sure but chances are the PO probably is pretty accurate, but they can make mistakes too.
Good luck, Gretchen
Hi! I just wanted to say how GREAT this site is. It really helped answer a lot of my questions when I was told my son would have to get glasses. My 2 year old got glasses 2 months ago originally for strabismus (sp?) His left eye turns in. They said if no improvement in a month we would be looking at surgery. It slightly improved but then we were referred to a different doctor and he said that he has accomodative esotropia due to farsightedness and amblyopia. He prescribed eye drops for the next 2 months. Once a week in his strong eye to blur his vision and help strengthen his left eye. Hopefully this works..the idea of surgery on his eye really freaks me out!! We have really struggled with keeping the glasses on him!! We have now started calling them his “special” glasses. He freaks out over shadows so we’ve told him he has to wear his special glasses and they won’t be so scary, this has really helped. He looks so darn cute in them! He just doesn’t look the same with out them anymore!
Rachel
Thank you Rachel, and welcome! I love the idea of the glasses helping things to not be so scary. I imagine that now that he’s seeing a bit better, shadows really are less scary.
Good luck with the drops. I know from reading others’ experiences that it’s not easy, but it really can work.
My just-turned-five-year-old just got her first pair of glasses (anisometric amblyopia), and she Does Not Want To Wear Them. At all. She has a lot of social anxiety, and she’s really worried about what the other kids will say (there are only three kids at her whole daycare who wear glasses, none in her class), and she feels that she’s not pretty when she wears glasses. The resources on this website are wonderful, but I’d love any tips for an older kid, especially one who is obsessed with looking pretty and gaining social approval (and if you have any tips for curbing those obsessions, that would be great, too!). I’m thinking a chart with stickers, working up to a larger bribe? Any other ideas? She’s very articulate and loves being read to, so I’m going to ply her with stories about kids wearing glasses…
Thanks!
Hi Sara,
Do you think she’d go for something like Ficklets (http://ficklets.com/misc.html), they’re charms that you can put on the temples of glasses, and I think they’re really nice looking, and could be a great way to dress up glasses, and feel like they’re a little more like jewelry.
I’m afraid I don’t know a whole lot about the 5 year old set yet, I’m still trying to learn what it means to have a 3 year old
. I know there are a lot of books for older kids with glasses that would probably be great. I also like showing the pictures in the photo gallery to kids who are reluctant, because the kids are all so cute. Again, most of them will be a bit younger than your daughter, but there’s a couple around that age.
I’d love to hear more advice on this, and add more resources for kids that are around your daughter’s age.
One other thought – we decided to buy Zoe two pair of glasses, partly so that we’d have a back up if one pair broke, but also to let Zoe have a choice of frames, so we bought two very different pairs for her: one is red and round, one is blue and squarish. It’s expensive, but it has worked out really well. Each morning, she gets to choose with pair to wear, and sometimes she matches them to her outfit, and other times just chooses based on her mood. That gives her a little more control in the matter of glasses. Something like that might help with your daughter, too.
Thanks for your responses! We got the glasses two weeks ago, and I just wanted to report back to build up the databank of information for parents of preschoolers!
We got two pairs of glasses, which was definitely helpful because it made her feel like she had a little bit of power in this situation. However, the first few days were rough. She cried about how ugly she looked, claimed her glasses hurt, etc. She had to be constantly reminded to put her glasses back on, and she”lost” her glasses several times. When I told her she’d have to pay for her lost glasses out of her allowance, she suddenly thought she MIGHT be able to remember where they were, which turned out to be at the bottom of a box in a corner of her room.
A big problem with the situation is that she does not feel that she sees better with the glasses on, so there’s no incentive for her to wear the glasses. I speculate that this is because her brain was so used to getting along just using her good eye (she has one farsighted eye and one totally normal eye), and I think that she wasn’t lying when she said initially that she actually sees better without her glasses, since her brain was frantically trying to make sense of the new input. That’s my completely opthalmologically ignorant opinion.
We set up an incentive chart (the first incentive was a special breakfast with me at a restaurant, without Meddling Baby Sister along, and that was a very big motivator), and after those first days, she’s wearing them now pretty consistently.
The first response she got from a peer was “You look weird! You look like a doctor!” and that was NOT helpful. But otherwise the response from her peers has been generally positive, and the response from adults has been overwhelmingly positive, and that’s helped a great deal. Her dad and I have made a big deal out of how her glasses really draw attention to her pretty eyes, etc., and she loves that.
She often points out adults and children wearing glasses – it seems to be very important to her to establish and re-establish that it’s a normal thing. I checked out some books specifically about glasses – Princess Peepers and Arthur’s Eyes – and she read them with avid interest, but I’ve found that the most effective books are the ones where a child protagonist’s glasses are an incidental feature, not part of the plot, like the color of her hair. We just received “Fanny and Annabelle” as a gift, and Sophie was deeply pleased that the heroine wears glasses.
And as a consolation to other parents, I have to say that while I agree with her that she looks prettier withOUT glasses (something I’ll never tell her), I think she looks more interesting, and more like her funny, drama-queen, imaginative little self with glasses, somehow. I really like the way they look.
Hi Sara. We have a three-year-old daughter that wears glasses, but has worn them for almost three years now, so she is so used to wearing them, it has never been an issue. However, I also have a just-turned-five-year-old daughter. Although she does not wear glasses, she wears a hearing aid and just two bone-anchored hearing aids implanted in her skull where she now has two “buttons” sticking out of her head. Needless to say, there is no one in her daycare that wears a hearing aid, much less has buttons coming out of her head.
One of the best ways that we got her used to the idea of having the implant surgery, is by the way we approached the whole subject in making her feel like she is very special and how beautiful she is, how much it will benefit her, and just having a very positive attitude when around her, although in my heart I was hurting for her and did cry many tears. She is now so used to wearing it, she never thinks that she is different from anyone else in her class. I believe glasses are like a piece of jewelry, that only special people get to wear and makes those people beautiful in a very special way. I mean how many kids in your daughter’s class get to wear jewelry every day? I would approach it in that way. At that age, kids are just starting to notice differences between each other, and your daughter might find that there will be other kids that will want to have glasses themselves as there are so many nice glasses out there now. As for tips on bribing her to wear something, for a while, she also had to wear headgear to correct her bite, and the way I got her to wear it is by making her a big chart with a BIG jellybean jar full of empty jelly beans. For every day that she wore her headgear, she got to color in one jelly bean. Once she colored in seven jelly beans, she got to pick out a special treat. This works well for an older child as they can count and pick out the colors and fill in their own jelly beans and they look forward to being able to chose their own price. In time, your daughter will be so used to wearing her glasses, that she won’t notice that she is different from everyone else. I hope that you can get her to wear her glasses, as it will give her the opportunity to see all the things she has never seen clearly and also help her when she gets into school and needs to learn to read and write and do all those things that are so much easier when you can see clearly. Once she becomes consistent about wearing the glasses, she will notice how much easier it is to do certain things than they were before! All the best to you!!!
Hello! I just found out on Monday that my 16 month old dtr is extremely farsighted (+9) both eyes…I stumbled onto this site…it is absolutely amazing and I cannot tell you how much this information means to me. Although overwhelming at times and increased my anxiety by tenfold, the information is SO SO SO reassuring because this has been a very emotional week for my family. It is so nice to read other people’s stories and thoughts/feelings b/c it seems like everyone I talk to says “oh well she will be so cute! Besides they have so many surgeries these days…she’ll be fine”. This is a HUGE deal and I am terrified that if I dont’ do all the right things my dtrs vision will be even more impaired and I have a lot of guilt for not realizing this earlier. She had signs…looking back now it was apparent, but we had no reason to even think there would be something wrong with her eyesight! She just recently starting crossing her eyes and that is what prompted me to call the Pediatrician and then get the vision exam. We ordered her frames and the glasses will be in next week-I know it will be a struggle, but honestly I just can’t wait to have her wear them and know that she can see the world! Every time I look at her now it breaks my heart that she has a fuzzy view…I wonder what she see’s and what it will be like when she adjusts to the glasses. I also need advice-her prescription was given by an Optometrist and then verified by an Opthomologist-neither are pediatric specialist and we don’t actually have one in this area…is this something I should be pursuing? Our next appt is in Jan and I am starting my mile long list of questions. any thoughts/suggestions of questions I need to ask? thanks for any help. This site is amazing, I am learning so much.
Hi Emily, and welcome! It really is hard going through this, especially when you don’t know anyone else who has been there (I didn’t). Please don’t feel guilty about not noticing earlier – 16 months is very young to have caught it, and kids that young don’t have any way of telling you they aren’t seeing well, especially when they don’t know how they should be seeing. Also, she probably is seeing relatively clearly (kids who are farsighted can still focus, it just strains their eyes and can cause them to cross their eyes).
Did either of the doctors you saw have child-appropriate cards or eye charts? I’d be concerned if the doctors didn’t seem to know how to work with a young child or didn’t have the equipment for that. It is nice to work with someone who is used to working with children, and who has an office set up for that. You could even add it to the list of questions and ask the doctor if they would recommend you see a pediatric eye specialist. I’d also ask about how often they want to see your daughter, how stable they believe her vision is, whether they are concerned about her developing amblyopia.
Good luck and let us know how things go! Have her glasses arrived yet?
Hi!
Once again, I must say what a help this site is! Addison has been doing well with her glass for about 3 months. But the past week, she has been very sleepy and her eyes look tired, actually one more than the other. Its kind of hard to explain. Just wondering if maybe her prescription is changing. What were the signs that you all noticed when your child needed a new prescription??
I noticed Zoe’s eyes beginning to cross again when she needed a new prescription. I’ve also noticed that when Zoe isn’t wearing her glasses (because the glasses are getting fixed or whatever), that she is clearly more tired, so I would trust your instinct and see if you can get an appointment.
Hi!
My son Xavier is 2 and a half years old and started crossing his eyes about two months ago. So I took him in to see a eye doctor and he said he is definetly cross eyed and far sighted. His perscription is +6.25 in both eyes. He said their was not much that we could do about it except put him in glasses and hope that it corrects its self. But I believe their is more we can do, I just havent figured out what yet. I was devistated, like I was a bad mother for not noticing sooner or by some how this was my fault. So i guess my question to you is:
What steps do I take from here? I will be getting his perscription filled next week. Then what? I want to do what ever possible to ensure that he doesnt have to live with being cross eyed forever.
Hi Shannon – your response is totally normal – I was so upset about my daughter as well. My Aubrie was the exact same – crossed her eyes at 18 months & got glasses at 20 months. She is a +5.75 in both eyes. It is in no way your fault & pat yourself on the back b/c you found it early! Lots of parents think this is normal & they don’t catch it until their kids are 5.
As a positive note – our Dr. said 50% of kids grow out being farsighted or at least improve in their vision- this is great news! Your son may never be out of glasses or contacts, but he’s likely to at least improve instead of get worse. As far as things to do next – it depends on the Dr. – we were lucky & didn’t require surgery & no patching for us b/c she can see 3d. Now she still crosses her eyes without her glasses & I hate that, but with her glasses – her eyes are perfectly straight & honestly she ALWAYS has on her glasses except for baths & sleeping (they even make swim goggles). As long as her eyes are perfectly straight with her glasses – her doctor is thrilled – that is all we do. My advice would be get a 2nd opinion. You will be more at peace if you know the drs. agree – no surgery is needed, and that glasses work for your son. I know there are vision therapy options out there, but I don’t know much about those – I am not sure if it’s for kids who need to patch or for all kids with vision problems. I hope that helps & feel free to ask all the questions you want! We all know exactly how you feel right now – everything is uncertain and that is very scary! Once he gets his glasses & wears them regularly you will feel much better about things! I can’t imagine my Aubrie without glasses now – it’s her identity and she’s adorable in them. Better yet – she can truly see & her vocabulary exploded once she got them. Best of luck! ~Annie
Hi I am so glad to find this website. Just found out today my year old son, Logan,needs glasses 24/7, patch therapy and visual therapy. His Rx is not nearly as bad as some of you– astigmatism in both eyes, right eye is better than the left. Doc said he basically isn’t using his left eye at all! I only noticed him squinting a bit but now I see that he turns his head to just use the right eye.
I know I shouldn’t be, but I am just so upset about it! I have been crying since we found out! I just feel so bad for him and so sad that his beautiful, perfect little face and awesome sky-blue eyes will get lost behind those glasses!
Of course, he’s excited about it, can’t wait to get them, and thinks it will be “cool”, but he has no idea what it means really!
Am I pathetic because I feel this way?? I just feel like he’ll never be the same! Thank you all for your comments!
I meant to say 5 year old son in the above comment!
Vicki, welcome. And no, you are not pathetic, and not alone, in being upset by this. I was so surprised at just how much it bothered me when I learned Zoe would need glasses. You are absolutely not the only one to feel this way. Your son won’t be the same, because he’ll be seeing better. But his perfect face and beautiful eyes won’t change. It takes a while for us to get used to it, but you’re doing the best thing for your son in making sure his vision is corrected and treated.
Please keep us updated on how things go. I’d love to add a picture of your son to our photo gallery once he’s in his new glasses.
Vicki,
You are not alone. I cried also when I found out Madysen need glasses, she is 4 yrs old and I thought I was loosing my beautiful little girl,I felt the same thing that she would be lost behind the glasses. Now 5 months later she is doing great, Not only can she see.. but she looks beautiful and all the sadness I had seems silly now. I promise you will get to there too. Mady also has to patch 2 hours a day. There are some great books out there on patching to make it fun for the kids . Believe me all Logans friends will think he is so cool, in Mady’s class , half the kids want glasses now beacuse she has them. Good luck and believe me it does get easier!!
Vicki – I can completely relate. My daughter, Emma, got glasses just past her 4th birthday and I felt a lot of the same things you do. And I cried a lot too. But she is doing so well now. She has to patch too, 4 hours a day. All of her friends and classmates were wonderful – in fact, quite a few said they wished they had glasses too! I know it seems very overwhelming right now, but it really does get easier. Best of luck and keep us posted!
I have just spent 4 hours looking for this site – THANK YOU!!! My son, Connor, started looking cross-eyed right after he was born but only while drinking his bottle. I thought he grew out of it but over the past 2 years he would only do it every now and again, like if he would put his face too close to mine, and it was only his left eye. I didn’t think much of it but because it was so seldom but this past Christmas his eye got much worse. After getting pictures back his eyes looked crossed in all the pictures. After goggling it I figured he would just need a patch for his right (stronger) eye . I made an appointment with our ped. opto and due to my husband’s unexpected cancer I canceled my first appointment because Connor had been doing so much better. I almost didn’t take him today because I had not noticed it in a long time but I am glad I did take him.
When the dr. told me he was farsighted w/ a slight stigmatism in his left eye and needed glasses I almost fell out of my chair. I have 20/20 vision; I am SO scared and out of my comfort zone. I wasn’t prepared for that and now I have a RX w/ +4 for his left eye and +3 in his right and the others were both under a 1 for the C/A. I wish I had been prepared because I started to cry… I am so glad he is too young to notice why I was upset.
I only had time to ask him a quick few questions as I was pushed out of the door. He told me he was only slightly higher than normal. I asked how I was supposed to keep glasses on MY son. He is a rough and is just hitting the terrible 2′s so I am freaking out. I will have to get the glasses that wrap around his head to keep them on or he is going to throw them I just know it. He hates sunglasses. The doctor said if he doesn’t keep them on after 2 weeks then to call him and he will get him eye drops that will temp blind him w/ out the glasses…will that even work and it just seems harsh? The last question I asked was will he need glasses for the rest of his life? He said there is a chance he could grow out of this because he is so young but there is no way to tell or not. I asked if they had something that told me his scores and the nurse told me it would say on the RX. OK…nothing about that helped me and I have been very upset. Does anyone know if he will more than likely were glasses for the rest of his life? He said all the nerves looked great so why wouldn’t this be a training issue that I would need a patch for? I am really overwhelmed and if anyone has any advice please let me know. I just want to help my son if there is a way to help his progress if there is any ways and if not then I just want to be prepared now so I don’t get my hopes up. Thanks again and I hope I can find more answers on this site.
Hi Shalinda, I’m glad you found us! I remember being completely overwhelmed when we got the news about Zoe, too. It’s totally normal to be worried and upset, and the fact that you caught it early and you’re getting him glasses is awesome!
Keeping glasses on kids is hard, but a lot of kids won’t wear sunglasses, but will wear prescription glasses because their glasses help them see better. It’s often a matter of getting them to realize how much better they see. I’m guessing since your little guy is so active, you’ll want to keep him occupied and distracted when you first start him on glasses, he’ll probably be more likely to pull them off when he’s bored. No matter what, expect it to take him a while to get used to.
The eye drops that the doctor is talking about are the dilating drops that they use in appointments, it makes it so that he can’t use his eye muscles to focus, so he’d have to rely on the glasses. We’ve never used them, and I haven’t heard too many stories of others who have done that, but I know that’s a practice I’ve heard of. Maybe someone else can comment.
As for growing out of the glasses, what I’ve read is that children with a +3 or less are more likely to outgrow glasses than children with a higher farsighted prescription. Zoe has +4.5 and +4.75, and her doctor said it was possible she’d out grow them, but it wouldn’t be until 12 or so. I do know that children are wearing contacts at younger and younger ages, so while your son may need vision correction, but there are alternatives to glasses as he gets older.
Good luck to you and your family! Please keep us updated on how Connor is doing!
Hi Shalinda, I am glad that you found this site! There is so much information on here that is so helpful when you first start out with glasses on your toddler! You have a lot on your plate with your husband and your son, and I can totally understand how overwhelmed you feel about the diagnosis! Our daughter has also been cross-eyed since birth, but her crossing was very severe, which is why she has been patching since she is two-months old, had surgery at nine months old, got glasses shortly after that and is still patching and wearing glasses now! I would say that there is a good chance that your son will grow out of having to wear glasses, especially since his prescription is so low. As he grows and his eyes further develop, he will get better muscle control over his eyes. Patching is only something that is done when the brain shuts out one eye completely, causing that eye to become very weak (lazy) and losing vision (acuity). At this point, if your P.O. does not believe patching is necessary, BE THANKFUL!!! After all we have been through, I can tell you that getting used to glasses is much easier than getting used to a patch! I agree with Ann Z., kids, even very young children will get used to and accept glasses much more easily because it helps them to see better. You may also find that having the glasses will help Connor calm down some. Sometimes, very active children are that way because they can’t see well. The main thing about the glasses is just to be persistent. If he takes them off, put them back on until he will keep them on. I know that’s hard to do, but I would definitely recommend that over having to do the eye drops. Having had my own eyes dilated and doing eye drops for our daughter on a short term basis as a patching alternative, I do know that it works because you cannot see without the glasses. However, our daughter’s personality changed completely with the eye drops, which is why we only did it for one week. I know it is overwhelming and the very beginning is rough, but once you make it through the first couple of weeks, it will just be a normal routine! It is great that you caught it early because as of right now it seems that he does not have a lazy eye yet and he does not have to do patching! Hang in there! It does get better every day! All the best to you, Connor, and your husband!
Thank you both SO much for all the great info. We got him fitted for his glasses this weekend and he looked adorable! I had the explain his RX and his glasses are 20% magnified in the Left eye and 15% in his right. Slight stigmatistim in the right and more in his left. I won’t find out about his patch work until he goes back in May because if the crossing doesn’t stop then I will have to start patch work. Thanks again and I will have to get a picture to share when we pick them up Saturday.
Hi all! I was very thankful to find this site. I have a 15 month old son, Ethan, and we just had our first visit with a pediatric opthamologist. I feel very disappointed, frustrated and scared after this appointment. We took our son to the opthamalogist because his left eye turns in. I was not terribly worried because I had amblyopia as a child and anticipated that at the most we would be patching our son’s eye. The eye doctor told us that Ethan’s right eye has 20/20 vision, but his left eye is extremely nearsighted and that he had something called “myelinated retinal nerve fibers.” The eye doctor told us we would need to patch his right eye and that he would need to wear glasses with a Rx of -8.5 in the left lens. He told us we could “read up” on these myelinated retinal nerve fibers as it is a rare condition. He also said that with patching and glasses (6-8 hours a day) that a reasonable vision expectation for Ethan would possibly be 20/50. I feel lost. All I can find on “myelinated retinal nerve fibers” are medical journals full of jargon that I do not understand!!! I’m still unclear as to what Ethan’s actual diagnosis is or how long we will need to patch and wear glasses. All I know is that I am to return in 2 months to check his vision again. We are seeking a second opinion. But has anyone been told their child has “myelinated retinal nerve fibers?” Any help would be soo appreciated! I feel defeated.
I just found out that my 2 (almost 3) year old needs glasses. We ordered them 2 weeks ago and received them on Tuesday. She is doing a great job keeping them on. I guess it’s nice to be able to see for once.
I’m having a harder time with it than she is. I know that every parent is partial to their kids. She’s just a wonderful little girl. I know that toddlers in glasses are super cute. I want her to be noticed for who she is not the fact that she’s in glasses at such a young age. She’s got such a wonderful personality, I’m afraid that will be over-looked because of the glasses. I don’t even know if this is the right place to come to comment on this. I think that I just need someone who’s been there, to tell me that she won’t be over-looked because of this. I wear glasses, but my prescription is opposite of hers. I was also disappointed because of the glasses we had to get. I feel like she looks kind of dorky, and that scares me. I don’t want anyone to make fun of her. She’s just awesome, and I hate this. I am also worried that my other daughter will need them (she’s not showing any signs of needing them, she’s 5 months). It’s just more upsetting than I thought it would be. I don’t want her to be noticed because of her glasses, I want her to be noticed because she’s sweet, caring and funny…for her.
Sorry for the sob story…I figured this was the best place to come. Thanks…
Tara
Tara – hang in there. My 3 year old has been in glasses for almost 1 1/2 years (can’t believe it’s been that long) and people don’t even seem to notice she has glasses, although I think she definately looks older because she is tall and has glasses. My 3 month old is showing signs of needed glasses too and I was more upset than I expected to be. I can’t imaging going through all those feelings at one time… we’ve had a little time to get used to the idea of babies and toddlers in glasses. Come sob here anytime… we are here for you!
Hi Tara,
Don’t feel bad for being upset. It is upsetting. We just found out this week that our 15 month old son will be patched and wearing glasses. I can totally relate to what you are feeling. The glasses haven’t come in yet, but we have been patching him and he doesn’t really seem to mind the patch. I can only hope that he will take to the glasses as well as the patch. My prescription was also the opposite of Ethan’s. Ethan is VERY nearsighted and I was farsighted. I am definitely taking it harder than my child. I think that’s probably the case with most of the parents on this site. You are not alone!
Anyone who makes fun of a child in glasses is simply ignorant and insecure.
Also, I wore bifocals for a lazy eye from the time I was 6 until I was 14. It really was not that bad. Yes, some people picked on me because of my glasses. Other kids thought I was smarter because I wore glasses. Kids will pick on other kids. And if I hadn’t worn glasses it would have been something else. Not only that, but if I wasn’t put in glasses at such a young age then I would have eventually been blind in my right eye. So, the glasses were worth the teasing. Just know that you are doing the best thing for your daughter now and for the future. She will be glad that she had glasses at this young age because you are saving and improving her vision for the future.
Thanks. It’s nice to have found a place that is so supportive.
You definitely aren’t alone Tara! We all feel this way. I bawled one day looking at pictures of kids in glasses. Not because those kids weren’t cute, but because I was afraid that my daughter’s beautiful eyes would be covered up, that one day she’d be teased, that she may look nerdy, that I didn’t know she couldn’t see… It was just a lot to take in! However, she’s had them now for going on 3 years this summer & she’s adorable in them. She doesn’t look nerdy, and they enhance her personality so much! I can’t imagine her any other way now. As for your other daughter, my Opthamologist told me I MUST get all my kids and all my nieces/nephews tested around 1 year of age. It’s extremely genetic (even though none of my family even wears glasses). So I had my son tested at 1 and he has perfect vision. I was very relieved! My niece is 6 months old and my sister will get her tested when she’s 1. I highly recommend it & then you won’t have to worry about it – you’ll just know
We just found out today that our 21 month old son is very far-sighted (+6.75) and will need to wear glasses. My husband is out of town and my little guy has been sleeping since we returned home from the doctor so I have been on the Internet all afternoon. I am devasted. I keep trying to tell myself that we are so blessed to have a healthy, vibrant little boy but I just can’t shake the idea that it will be my son that is referred to as “the boy with glasses”. As all parents I am sure feel, I don’t want a pair of glasses to “define” him in a positive or negative light. Plus, he has huge, brown eyes with mile long lashes that I don’t want to cover up. I am so glad to find this site and I apologize for rambling on but the news is still so fresh.
I just found out today that my son, age 3 is severely far sighted and needs glass ASAP. I’ve been crying all day and feeling very selfish for being upset about this…and I truly did feel comforted when I read that you said, “the boy with the glasses” comment would hurt…and would be sure to come. But tonight, after going and trying on new glasses for an hour or so, and of course drowning in my own sorrow all day I realized – this is him now. I need to let go of this vision of who I think/thought he was and realize he is the boy who needs glasses and that is okay. That is how God made him, and he is perfect.
It is nice to know that my self conscious feelings, on his behalf, are shared by parents in the same boat. Thanks again.
Jenna
Welcome Jenna! You have a wonderful outlook on this, I wish I’d come to that same realization earlier. It is so normal to be upset when you find out your child will need glasses. But you’re right, your son is perfect as he is. He probably will be “the boy with glasses” – I know Zoe is “the girl with glasses.” It used to really upset me, until I realized that she would probably otherwise be “the girl whose hair is always messy.”
Keep us updated on how everything goes, and send us a picture of him in his glasses, if you’d like!
Hi there. I think I can speak for many when I say most parents feel the same way when first presented with the news their child needs glasses. I certainly did. I know exactly what you mean. My little girl was prescribed glasses for short sight (-4.5) when she was one. I had all the same feelings. I cried for days! However a year and a half on and things are much better. You will find once you see him with his glasses on for a while, he wont look right without them! Really and truly there are such lovely frames now and with such gorgeous eyes they will not cover them up only enhance them and draw more attention to them! I have to say I have only ever had positive comments about Paris’s glasses – she has the biggest bluest eyes and mile long lashes too but the glasses dont detract from that. Although it is hard to accept at first, I guess you have to be grateful that you are on to it early and he will be able to see so much better which is the main thing. He can always wear contacts when he is a little older – as young as seven or eight. Also far sight tends to get better with age so you never know. Try to stay calm it will all work out believe me. What you are feeling is so normal and common. My advice to you re the glasses is to go for a very subtle slim frame in a neutral colour and have the lenses shaved to be as thin as possible for the best cosmetic result. They can do amazing things now even for very high scripts. The best of luck and keep us posted. Perhaps you could post a pic of your little boy with his glasses when he gets them.
Hi Ingrid,
Thank you so much for taking the time to reply. It really does make my heart feel a little lighter to hear your words. We went this morning for a bit to do some glasses shopping and it was definitely a relief to see the selection and the amount that they can do. I have been looking at him all day today and I still just cannot get used to the thought of seeing him with glasses but like you said, I am sure that before we know it, we will be used to them as will he. Thank you again SO MUCH for your kinds words. I am so greatful to have found this website and so early when I am having all of these emotions about the whole thing. Thank you to everyone for their honesty and stories. It is amazing how conforting it is to hear that others are going through the same thing.
P.S. I will definitely post a pic once we get his glasses!
Some good pieces of advice our PO shared with us when we found out our son needed glasses and we set out on this path:
Children don’t see the glasses, just the child.
Life’s experiences will be no less wonderful, maybe a bit more challenging, but wonderful all the same.
Both true. Hang in there!
No worries Brooke. I know how good it is to be able to speak with someone in the same boat and yes this website is a great comfort. Honestly you will look back on this in a few months and it will all seem so much better! Somehow the glasses become a part of their personality and everyone just gets so used to seeing them in them they forget they are on! Do you have an email address I can contact you at? If you need any advice just drop me a line
My email is daveandingrid@netspace.net.au.
The very best of luck with everything
Ingrid
Hello,
I just wanted to say how invaluable this site, and this introductory post, have been for me, and how grateful I am. My 20-month-old daughter was just diagnosed with farsightedness and accommodative esotropia. Her eyes rarely cross, and we didn’t even notice it until three weeks ago when she had a terrible cold and had lost a pound. On a Friday at the end of that tough week, her eyes started crossing severely for a few minutes at time. There was an incident that day where we thought she hit her head, and so her dr sent us to the ER for a CT scan. It came back looking normal, thank heavens. In the days that followed, we noticed very brief crossing (a few seconds) a handful of times. We haven’t really seen it since. Her sight had always seemed so great–she never misses a thing, knows the letters of the alphabet, loves to read, can even read far-away street signs. So we are surprised. I am reeling. Part of me doesn’t understand it. Part of me can’t get the thought of her crossed eyes out of my mind and knows she really does need glasses.
We’d already been through something–she had an NG tube for a feeding aversion when she was a newborn. It’s a feeding tube that goes into the tummy through the nose and the excess tubing is taped to the face. It was hugely traumatic for us a as a family, but we overcame it. My first reaction to the news of the new diagnosis and glasses was, ‘Oh no, my baby’s face will be obscured again, and more daily struggle and dreaded battles–this time instead of feeding, it’s about wearing glasses.’
I’m so worried and confused, and I even keep thinking it’s my fault. Just like when Stella had her eating problems. It’s brutal. So many of the same questions mentioned above are in my head: Will the glasses work? Will this condition hold her back somehow? Will the glasses distract from Stella’s beautiful face? (Can’t decide whether to go for fun color in a celebratory way, or subtle so as not to overwhelm.) Ah, I could go on and on.
So nice to know I’m not alone. Since her diagnosis at Seattle Children’s Hospital’s ophthalmology clinic, I’ve spent a lot of time on this site and I know that will only continue in the days and weeks ahead. We’re getting a second opinion on Tuesday from a developmental optometrist, I’ve already ordered a lot of glasses-centric storybooks, and I expect to order her glasses Wednesday! Still dreading the part where I have to convince her to wear them, but this site has made me feel better.
Thanks again for the wonderful source of comfort and community!
Amber
http://lifeandtimesofstella.com
Welcome! I’m glad you found us, Amber. It sounds like your daughter has already been through so much, and it sounds like you’re incredibly strong. I think that while glasses can be difficult, especially in the beginning, and they’re almost always for the long-term, once you’re past the difficulty (and shock at the expense), they become a part of your child’s personality in a way that other medical aids aren’t.
No matter which way you decide on glasses – subtle or brightly colored – it will take some getting used to those glasses, but your Stella will look gorgeous in them.
Good luck! Keep us updated on how the appointments, and glasses selection goes, and if you’re up for it, submit a picture of Stella in her new glasses!
Hi, thanks for the welcome, Ann! You’re great and Zoe is adorable. I totally agree that glasses would look super cute, we’d get used to them, and they would become a fun part of her personality! I am totally on board with that and have really embraced the idea. However, we got a second opinion today which was totally different, saying we should take a couple months to see what happens because her eyes cross so rarely and more when she is in a daze and not when she looks at something close. So this second doctor (who examined Stella a bit and also had the charts and notes from Stella’s previous exam) isn’t even sure it’s really accommodative esotropia. I’m really torn between being proactive and trying to head off problems and being more cautious so as not to intervene unless truly necessary at this point. One doctor said the crossing will probably happen more in a few months, the other says Stella’s eyes might be hindered by the glasses, which seem to extreme given the degree of Stella’s crossing and the strength of her vision overall.
Stella’s visual acuity is very good in both eyes. The doctor who told us she needs specs actually said, “Stella has very good vision in both eyes”, which really threw me for a loop, given the diagnosis we’d received. Her prescription is +3/+4, but the 2nd doctor says that the number is higher when the eyes are dilated, so her actual level is more like +2/+3 and not far at all from an average one-year-old. The second doctor couldn’t get Stella’s eyes to cross during exam (it happened a couple times during the aggressive first exam, they called it “intermittent”). But today, she did see one eye very briefly drift in at the end of the appt when Stella was staring into space — as soon as you say her name, she snaps it back into place. It seems a bit different than typical accommodative esotropia where crossing happens when examining things close-up? Or no?
Anyway, I’m thinking of getting an 3rd opinion. Yikes! If anyone has any thoughts, I’d really welcome them. Thank you very much. And if there is a better place for this type of discussion, please let me know and I’ll stop bombarding you here!
Ugh, it’s so hard to know what to do in those cases. When we first took Zoe in to the ophthalmologist, she was only crossing her eyes intermittently. The doctor couldn’t get her to cross her eyes, but we brought pictures along. In any case, with dilating her eyes, the doctor said she was farsighted, but not overly so, and recommended that we not get glasses right away. We didn’t, and her eyes even seemed to get better for a few months before they started really crossing a lot. At that point, we brought her back in and got her glasses. I don’t think that the wait in her case made things worse, she did end up needing strabismus surgery, but I don’t think that’s due to waiting on glasses, though there’s no way we will ever know for sure.
Children who are farsighted often have very good vision. They can use their accommodative reflex to focus on things, even up close. The problem is that it strains their eyes, and often causes their eyes to cross, and it’s the crossing that you really want to avoid. It’s one of the things that makes it so hard to catch farsightedness in young children if they’re not crossing their eyes.
One thing you could do is call the first doctor and ask to talk about the differences in the second opinion you received and see if that doctor has any thoughts on reasons for the differences, or can explain his or her philosophy for prescribing glasses. There’s a pretty wide range of philosophies when it comes to prescribing glasses for farsighted young children whose eyes are not crossing. Many eye doctors won’t prescribe glasses unless the child is crossing their eyes, but others believe it’s far better to treat with glasses before the eyes start crossing. I haven’t read any definitive studies recommending one approach over the other. There’s a post about the pediatric ophthalmologist guidelines for prescribing glasses here – http://littlefoureyes.com/2009/11/18/when-are-children-prescribed-glasses/, but again, the article I read about it specifically mentioned that many eye doctors prescribe at lower refractive errors than the guidelines.
Good luck on whatever you decide. I think a third opinion isn’t a bad idea either. I know I’ve seen discussions where other parents have taken their children for third and even fourth opinions.
My 12 month old daughter is very farsighted and now has a pair of miraflex light pink glasses. She just got them this week. The funny thing is she only keeps them on at daycare and doesnt wear them at home for very long before she pulls them off. I guess she is more distracted at daycare. I am just pleased she is keeping them on at all and know it is an adjustment. I was SO upset about having to cover her adorable little face with glasses and having to deal with the comments but I am doing a bit better now that we have the glasses. Her cuteness is not diminished by the glasses and just adds something unique. I am pregnant and now worried that our second baby will need glasses early as well. The pregnancy doesnt help much with how I am feeling about the situation overall – extra emotional!
I am trying to separate the superficial feelings from the rational fact that her glasses will help her so much in the long run. Its still hard to not feel upset about it though.
Hi Jules, as another pregnant mom, I can totally relate to the added worry about the second baby also needing glasses early. At least we’ll be better prepared if it does happen a second time. You’re absolutely right that it’s hard not to be upset, but I actually think it’s ok to be upset, and to acknowledge that it’s not always rational. At least for me, that helped me to move on and focus on the good points – that this is treatable, that there are some amazingly cute glasses out there, etc.
I hope your daughter gets better with her glasses, I bet the distractions at daycare have a lot to do with it. I also know that my daughter will do things at daycare that she won’t do for me, and vice versa.
Ann, I wanted to thank you for your replies to my comments here. I did confer with both doctors and asked lots of questions, and after my daughter’s eyes started crossing again, there was no question she needed glasses (as you saw on my blog!)… anyway, we got her glasses today and they are cute, but I was surprised at how much bigger they make her eyes look. Her prescription is +3/+4. Do you know if there is variation in how the lenses are made? I just wonder if they could be made any slimmer or with less of an enlarging effect. Perhaps it’s just that Stella’s eyes are pretty big to begin with, and so the effect of the magnification just SEEMS to be increased. Maybe I just need to get used to it. I guess I looked through the gallery here and most of those children (who all look wonderful!) do not have such large eyes in the photos, even though some of them have much stronger prescriptions. Thanks for any thoughts, everyone!
My son will be 3 months od tomorrow. At birth his left eye was lazy. but now it has self corrected itself. I took him to he opthalmologist anyways to make sure that things were okay. The doctor told me that normal newborns are a +2 and he is +4. She gave me a prescription for glasses. Im wondering if they would self correct themselves or if glasses are really necessary. I feel like he is too young for them. Please… give me some input.
Hi Samantha M,
My daughter doesn’t yet have glasses though one doctor did prescribe them. We are trying to figure out if she needs them after another doctor recommended we avoid glasses at this point. So, I’m no expert on glasses, but can relate, and based on the information Ann Z provided to me, your doctor *may* be wrong. Might be worth getting a second opinion. Per Ann (see above):
There’s a post about the pediatric ophthalmologist guidelines for prescribing glasses here – http://littlefoureyes.com/2009/11/18/when-are-children-prescribed-glasses/,
Samantha, is your son still crossing his eyes at all? I am not an eye doctor, but 3 months old seems quite young for glasses for farsightedness if he’s not crossing his eyes. I would also recommend going for a second opinion just to be sure. There are certainly babies that young who wear glasses, so if they’re necessary, then no, he’s not too young for them, but I think I’d have someone else take a second look.
Good luck and keep us updated!
How comforting to come here and have all my feelings and fears normalized. I was feeling guilty about my internal reaction to the news. Even though it was news I was half expecting I still felt like crying. I think one of my first thoughts was how I look at his face everyday and that it was going to suddenly change overnight. No matter how cute his new glasses will be, he will simply look DIFFERENT. Once I started processing everything I started thinking about how he was going to adjust to everything and the anxieties, and struggles that might ensue; keeping the glasses on, not losing the glasses, hating the glasses, breaking the glasses…etc. My husband has also reacted with a disappointment I wasn’t expecting. This is both comforting and upsetting.
To give you some brief background my son is 4 and I decided to have his eyes checked because I had been observing for some time that he would frequently tilt his head when writing his letters, watching T.V. as well as other tasks. I was hoping it had just become something habitual but now I know it is his vision. He is extremely farsighted which means he has troubles seeing things upclose and from a distance. His vision is about 20/70 I am told. I don’t know his prescription as of yet, I had to dash off after the last appointment so it’s on file I just haven’t seen it yet. But I do know that before his eye drops it was +4 and the optometrist guesstimated that it could be as much as +6 after eye drops. We have mentioned to him that he is going to be getting glasses but he barely responded so I don’t think he’s really processed it. When we were at his appointment he was checking out the kids glasses on the wall and seemed to especially like the ones with the bright yellow frames and expressed that he wanted those ones! At this point it was more about play than anything else. But it made me stop and realize I am going to have to give him a fair bit of control/choice in the purchase of his frames if we are going to have success so I just hope there aren’t any outrageous ones when we go to actually pick something.
Good luck, Michelle! I feel like I could have written your first paragraph 2 1/2 years ago when we learned Zoe would need glasses. You and your husband are definitely not alone in your feelings.
I think giving your son a lot of choice in the matter is a good idea. One thing you could do is try to pick out a bunch of frames for him to choose from – or even talk with the optician who is helping you and have them bring only frames that you know you could live with, but still bringing some fun, colorful ones that you think he’ll like. That way you can be sure that the frames aren’t any that you couldn’t live with.
Keep us updated!
Thank you Ann, it really is so comforting to know you aren’t alone and that your feelings aren’t wrong or abnormal.
Thankfully when we went to pick frames there were very tame ones and he liked pretty much everything we tried on. I was really anxious making our decision and I worried long after. Today we picked them up and while I am happy with the frames I am still adjusting to the way the lenses magnify his eyes. Everyone else said it’s not that dramatic.
After getting his glasses I did my best to keep him busy and distracted. We went out for lunch, to the library and then the playground. I think keeping him distracted may have helped him in the transition.
I love this place just so you know
Thanks for the update, Michelle, I’m glad he seems to be doing well with the glasses. I think we notice things with our children that other people don’t notice. No one ever tells me that Zoe’s eyes look magnified, though they do tell me she has big eyes and long lashes, which I do think they notice because of the slight magnification, but everyone sees it as a positive.
I just wanted to say that this website has helped me get threw the fact that my 3 year old needs glasses. I had alot of questions and felt really uncomforable about talking to friends whos kids don’t have glasses about this. After finding this site I feel alot more comfortable about the whole thing. At first I felt like such a bad Mom because I had no clue for 3 years that my son’s eye sight was 20/100 and he was having a hard time seeing. My son is actually very excited about getting his glasses in today. He looks so Handsome in them
wow this is wonderful, my daughter was diagnosed yesterday with eye sight of +8. I must be honest i had no idea what the norm is/was but i am learning fast. from yesterday to today she has been diagnosed and her glasses have being chosen and sorted. I was/am in terrible shock but that wont do her any good so we will go on this new journey in a postive way. Thank you so much for your site it is so amazing and it was like reading my own feelings. the guilt is still with me but like i said that wont do my little girl any good. i must say that i live in amsterdam and here the children dont go to pediatricions but go to development centres and when they are three they get a regular eye test. before the test i did say that there were a few signs that i found strange and they said dont worry, when she eventually had the test and failed hopelessy the dr said she is either a very stubborn and spoilt child who refuses to cooperate or otherwise she genuinely cant see!!! needless to say i was heartbroken with that comment. I then insisted that she have a medical examination and she was sent two weeks later to the opto……dr, sorry very new at this so i am still learning the terms and they are in dutch!!! but anyway was told that she had +8 in both eyes. was given a prescription for glasses for +7 and must come back in 3 months time.
i must say i cant see how we are going to keep the glasses on as she does not even like a clip in her hair but i will remain positive and follow all your expert advice. Thank you so much for this. i really dont feel so alone anymore
lots of strengh to all your little ones.
Welcome Jennifer! I’m so glad you found us. What an awful thing the doctor said, that your daughter was either stubborn and spoilt, or couldn’t see. I’m glad you insisted on an exam for her.
Please keep us updated and let us know how she does with her glasses. Hopefully, she’ll take to them right away.
Best to both of you!
thank you will definetly keep you posted
thanks for doing such a great job with his site.
okay people i am more confused today than i was yesterday!!!!!! as i said abigail is +8 in both eyes, What the heck does this actually mean!!! is she farsighted which means that she can only see far or does it mean that she cant see far. i am so sorry for sounding stupid but i am not getting it. the internet is making me more confused and my doctor did not give me all the info i need or maybe i just didnt hear it. does it sound wierd that i think the dr is talking nonsense and i dont think there is anything wrong with her sight!!!!!!! oh man i am making myself mad. this is really having such an impact on me. how on earth did abigail manage the last 3 years and am i feeling normal or am i a basket case? this is so new for me and i am trying to be strong but I need to understand this. i think getting all the terminology in dutch was not helpful even though my dutch is excellent but i think my brain must have switched off after she said her eyes are bad and she needs glasses. sorry for dumping this on your site. can anyone help me?
Jennifer, I cannot even imagine having to go through this and getting the information in a language that wasn’t my native one, it’s confusing enough as is. +8 is a strong farsighted prescription. That means that she can see things better far away, and has trouble seeing things clearly close up, though most things will be at least a bit blurry at +8. You can check out a simulator here http://www.eyeland-design.com/webtools/53828496ca1045c06/53828496bd08b1006/index.html, but don’t be too freaked out by how blurry everything looks. The thing with farsightedness and children is that children can compensate for a lot of the farsightedness using their accommodative reflex. So your daughter was probably seeing things much less blurry than that simulation will show. Using accommodation reflex, though means eyestrain and can eventually pull a child’s eyes out of alignment. Plus, kids with bad eyesight have never known any different, so they don’t know to complain.
I hope that helps a bit, I can try to explain in more detail anything that doesn’t make sense.
Also, your feelings and confusion sound completely normal to me.
thank you thank you thank you!!!!! i had a good look at your site and wisdom and found some really good answers. i know that you will be blessed for helping us like this.
hi jennifer again, but one and a half weeks later and the glasses are on!!!
what a difference. abigail has taken so well to her glasses, the sticker idea is wonderful, even her daycare is using it too!! her teachers at daycare cant believe what a different child she is. her one teacher was diagnosed at the age of 12 with extreme nearsightedness and she was in tears and so emotional when she saw abi as she is so happy that abi is getting help from small and not like her who was left so late without help. they really are wonderful at her school and i feel so great being able to give them advice, which ofcourse i have learnt from all of you hahaha
it is so wierd but i really thought that the dr’s were crazy and she did not need the glasses but boy was i wrong, she is really seeing things for the first time and she is feeling everything (by the way is that normal)? she takes her glasses off now and again but once she is distracted the glasses are not even an issue. she even wanted her glasses on in her bed and fell asleep with her glasses on and her glass case in her hands and the next day she woke up and the first thing she said was where is my glasses!! i am so happy that she is doing well and her older sister emily is being so great. we went to the park today and emily was telling all the children that abi eyes are getting stronger with the glasses. so sweet and so proud of my little ones. one question though, she has two pairs is it better to put one away or let her choose which one she wants on?
okay that is enough for now but once again thanks for the great sight/site!!
god bless
Thank you for the update Jennifer! It’s so wonderful to hear stories like yours where you can really see just what a difference those glasses make in a child’s life. Both your daughters sound amazing. I expect Abi is feeling things a lot because she is probably seeing different textures more now and curious about how they feel.
I just wanted to say how happy I am to have found this website to know that I am not alone. Yesterday I took my son who is 17-months old to the PO. My husband is terribly nearsighted but based on how my son has been doing I thought I was going in to simply rule out that he inherited my husband’s vision. I guess that is why it is hitting me so hard to discover that he is -15 in both eyes!
I am feeling really devastated right now. The thought of having a 17-month old in glasses is tough, but what is really killing me is knowing what a prescription of that strength looks like. All I have to do is look at my husband’s glasses to see. They are truly coke-bottle lenses. I think if he had a normal prescription I’d feel ok with this, but at the strength they really distort the face. My husband wears hard contact lenses, so for him right now wearing his glasses is a rare occurrence – only done late at night in the house. But for my son, it will be all the time.
What really scares me is that my husband’s entire childhood was shaped by the fact that he had to wear such strong glasses. He was teased mercilessly until he was able to get contacts at age 16. He had all sorts of nicknames and almost no friends at a young age because of it. I am so afraid that is going to be the fate of my son. I have to admit that looking at pictures from when he was young is difficult because all I can see is his glasses and how distorted his eyes look through them. I feel so guilty for feeling this way and kind of naive and foolish for thinking that my son was somehow not going to have this problem. I also feel guilty in a way, that maybe I shouldn’t have had children knowing that they might inherit this and have such a tough childhood like my husband had. I know I should be happy that we have found this out so early and that soon he will be able to see, but all I can think about are the negatives and how unfair it feels that this is happening. I know people are going to look at him differently and see his glasses and not his beautiful face. I am afraid that I will start looking at him that way too. What kind of a mother does this make me? I would truly trade my eyesight for his if I could. I’m just feeling so helpless…
Hang in there. You’ll get through it. My son is -8 L and -23 L. We woo feared the ‘coke bottle’. Can’t say they’re horrible…can’t say theyre great…what I can say is that we’ve learned some things along the way to help minimize the appearance. Smaller and round frames lead to a thinner lens. (Well, as thin as can be all things considered.) The lab will cut from the thinner center…thereby producing a lens that has less flare=out on the outer edge. Non-glare coating helps too. We recently moved from a -18 to a -23 in that left eye..and quite honestly..not a huge difference.
Further..you never know..advances these days can have him in contacts much younger…
The guilt can’t be helped, and takes over from time to time, but in the end you do what needs to be done to ensure the best possible outcome.
For what it’s worth…if they dont see the beautiful face..they’re not worth being around. I don’t see the glasses. You won’t too…
so yeah..typo-s. That’s -8 R and -23 L
Thanks GeorgeB,
We ordered the glasses yesterday. They should be in on Monday or Tuesday so I’m anxiously awaiting. He looked really cute in them – of course that was w/o the lenses! The ones we chose aren’t perfectly round, but rounded than most so hopefully it will be the best it can be. We also got the anti-glare coating. Luckily at his age, even if they aren’t great looking he won’t know. It’s when he gets older that I am really worried about.
I have to say, despite really not wanting him to have to wear glasses, I am really excited to see how he reacts to them when he is actually able to see clearly for the first time. I still can’t believe how bad his vision considering he has been functioning so well. If they had told me he needed a prescription, but a mild one, I’d have thought, “yeah, I think I’ve seen indications that he doesn’t seem to everything.” But the dr gave me a lens to show me how he sees and it was shocking. I’d be afraid to move for fear I’d trip and I don’t think I’d be able to identify anyone. I guess kids are just much better at adapting than adults. What a trooper.
Anyway, I appreciate your kind words and encouragement. While I don’t wish vision problems on anyone else’s child, it’s nice to be able to connect w/people that know what it’s like. Wishing your son the best…
welcome to the club denise, what you are feeling is normal, if you scroll up you can read my first reactions and i certainly did not believe that the dr was right and abi did not need glasses!! well 2 months later and the results speak for themself. dont beat yourself up with quilt it wont do anyone any good. prepare yourself for a rollercoaster ride of emotions and just wait and see how well he will do with his glasses. try to keep as positive as you can, this is a good thing and in time he will realise it too. as for other people ……………who cares. with your love and support he will continue to be the beautifull little person that he is. What i have found is that since abi has glasses all her friends at creche also want glasses. i will be thinking of you and please keep us posted.
I must say I really appreciate this website. Very good support and good advise. What brings me here, Well just as every parent would do , I hit the Google search engine today after my daughters 6yrs physicals…..where all of a sudden she did not do well at all for the Left eye. The Doctor told us she will be in glasses for a long time and that she is been referred to see an Ophthalmologist. Well at the moment it probably has not hit in yet…am at a stage of looking for helpful information….We are still waiting to see OP…my daughter has started asking if she is blind or going to be blind and is already worried about people calling her four eyes and so many other names I had never heard of…she said she heard them on some TV programs…She sat beside me as i did my research and when I got to this site she said “NO I AM NOT FOUR EYES MOM”! The whole family is ready to support her in any prescription she gets…we will sure get a second opinion just to be sure…any advise and support is welcomed
ADDITIONAL INFORMATION
My daughter was hospitalized at 10 days old for Bilirubin treatment…she had to go through the light treatment and exchange transfusion…anyone have the same experience? She also has hearing problems… is it the aftermath of Bilirubin? Thanks
Just an update for Jennifer and GeorgeB. I got my son’s glasses today. He was actually really good about putting them on – didn’t put up a fuss at all. He then sort of just took everything in. It must have been an amazing experience for him, but since he is so young he couldn’t verbalize it. From the way he was looking at things it definitely looked like he was seeing things he had missed before. As he was walking up the walkway to the house he kept staring at each stone. He probably couldn’t see any of the details before. So that was kind of neat. He also was looking at a book and held it farther away than he normally does. One thing that surprised me was we were outside on the deck and the sun was shining creating shadows and rays of light on the wood. He actually stood frozen as the shadows and light moved then started crying and was afraid to walk. I think he nad no idea what he was looking at and didn’t know if it was ok for him to walk on it. There were a few other times when walking he would examine the ground as if unsure if it was ok. It will definitely be an adjustment as he reinterprets his world. I can’t imagine how different it must be for him. All in all he did great for his first day! The only time he tried to take them off was in the car ride, a time when he usually gets board and sometimes will act up. He started trying to chew on the nose pieces so as a precaution I took them off of him for the rest of the ride. When I put them back on him after the ride, he was fine with them and didn’t do it again. I’m not so naive to think that there won’t be accidents, or that he will always be so agreeable to wearing them, but it was definitely nice though to get through the first day w/o incident.
As for the glasses themselves, they were pretty much exactly how you described them GeorgeB, not terrible, but not great. Since I had terrible in my mind initially, I think I was a little better prepared. (Had I imagined them being like my glasses, which are -2, I probably would have burst out in tears!) They are slightly coke-bottle like, and they make his eyes look slightly smaller, but they could be a lot worse. I hope this doesn’t sound too ridiculous, but I definitely feel a little sad still – I can’t help prefer the face I am used to, and that is one w/o glasses. That being said, I can’t wait to show him all the things he’s been missing. It’s going to be great.
Thanks for the update, Denise! I’m so glad the first day went as well as it did. It’s amazing to hear about how he’s really taking things in. Give yourself some time to get used to the glasses, too. After Zoe’s first day in glasses, I kept looking at the pictures of her that I’d taken that day, trying to get used to her new look. It’s a big change for both of you. Please keep us updated!
Good to hear! We had a similar reaction when N first put his glasses on. Good luck!
hi denise, day one is over it will only get better. glad to hear that he is taking to the glasses in a positive way. remember it is a big adjustment for them and it will take time. i can honestly say that abi wakes up and the first thing she does is reach for her glasses and i am so used to her with them on. keep postive and enjoy the experience with your little one and keep reassuring him as it can be very overpowering for him. i found with abi that when she was tired she took the glasses off as she was over stimulated with everything she saw. I also found that she is very tired and still needs to rest in the afternoon even though she is 3 years old. i think her little mind is over stimulated with all she sees now. keep postitive and keep us posted