little four eyes

Quick poll for all you parents whose children have had their glasses long enough that you’re no longer on the edge of your seat all day long, ready to pick up flung glasses, and put them back on their faces.  So how long did it take your child to get used to their glasses, so that they’d leave them on reliably for at least a few hours at a time?

Feel free to vote more than once if you have more than one child in glasses.

by, Rebecca of Mommy, Ever After

It has been 10 days since my sweet girl got her glasses.

On day 1, I hated them.

She looks different. People are looking at her differently. She’s not used to them. Are they uncomfortable? Is she still the same little girl? Of course she’s the same little girl. What is wrong with me? How could I be so shallow? So vain? Will I always feel this way?

These questions,

these fears,

played for me, over and over again,

like a montage in my mind.

In the battle between me and my daughter’s farsightedness,

the glasses were totally kicking my behind.

On Day 2, I decided to take my daughter out for the first time.

Please know that I recognize how silly this sounds. I am a devout believer of inner-beauty and unconditional love, and an advocate for compassion and tolerance. I knew how much worse it could be. Yet, I hated them, still.

And so, I took my little girl to a local farmer’s market. I felt vulnerable. For my girl. For us.

I was scared.

The first person who greeted us smiled at my daughter. “She’s soooo cute!” the woman said.

“HER GLASSES ARE NEW. THIS IS HER FIRST DAY WEARING THEM.” The words spewed from my mouth, so quickly I had scarcely taken a breath. My defenses were up, my sword was drawn, and I would make sure to strike first, before anyone could dare comment on my daughter and her eyewear. I was so scared that people would look at my beautiful little girl and only see glasses. So, in true crazy-person fashion, I headed them off at the pass.

The next person to approach us was a kind, older lady who squealed when she took in the sight of my little one.

“Ooh! My, look at her cute shoes!”

I exhaled. I bit my tongue. Don’t mention her glasses. Don’t make any sudden movements.

“Thank you.” I choked out between my smile of gritted teeth.

“And those glasses! They are adorable!”

I am not sure if was able to muster a thank you before pivoting and scurrying off without my broccoli rabe.

Why was this so hard for me? What was my problem?

And then, around day 3, something amazing started to happen. My little girl began to keep her glasses on all day long. She began to whine or whimper when they would come off. And she started to study her books with a new intensity. She started to say new words. She started doing things she’d never done before. So many things.

And  she started to look like herself again to me.

She was my little girl again. A new version, yes, but certainly a better one. She began to see world around her with new clarity. She could, for the first time, see blades of grass and the tiny spots on a ladybug; she could see my face, beaming with pride.

So now, on day 10, I love her glasses. I appreciate them.

And yes, every time we go out, we get at least a comment or two.

“She looks so precious!”

“I didn’t know they made glasses that small!”

“My daughter also needed glasses as a baby.”

And, the ever-popular,

“How did you know she needed them?”

That one I have fun with.

“Oh, she started to read her sonnets in Spanish instead of French, so we knew her eyes weren’t working properly.”

Or something like that.

So yes, my fears have come true in some ways, because the fact that she wears glasses have become a thing.

But, you know what? Everyone has a thing.

And as far as  things go, I’ll take this one any day of the week.

So, my daughter isn’t the only one seeing the world differently right now.

When I look at her little face, I am reminded to always lead with love,

to give compassion to everyone I meet,

to stop making assumptions based on how things look

and to always,

always,

look on the bright side and stay positive.

Because you know what? Life is much better with a glass(es) have full.

In fact, you just might say that everything looks

rather rosey.

Thank you so much to Crystal, for sharing her son Grant’s story. You can read more of Crystal’s writing and more about Grant at her blog, Sight Restored. -Ann Z

I could probably make an accurate guess that most of us have heard the story in the Bible where Jesus heals the blind man. I have heard the story a million times, but for the first time ever I have wondered how the blind man’s mother must have felt.

The weekend after our son, Grant, turned 2 months old, my husband and I started noticing this rapid movement with his eyes. We had noticed earlier that he wasn’t focusing that well. Having an older child, we knew that he should already be focusing but we also knew different children develop at different rates. We assumed he was just a late focuser before this point. This weekend was much worse though, and I was worried. He was constantly moving his eyes back and forth…back and forth. On Saturday morning, my husband had to go into work and our older son slept in. I spent a substantial amount of time that morning trying to get Grant to focus in on me. No such luck. My anxiety with the situation was increasing greatly.

We had to go out of town for a wedding that evening, where we met my parents. As my dad was holding him, I decided to confide in my family our concerns. I remember my words (and how crazy I felt saying them) as if it were yesterday. “Dad, I’m afraid Grant might be blind.” You should have seen the looks I got from my family. They had to think I was nuts! They spent the rest of our evening trying to prove to me he was tracking their fingers!

I was not put at ease. Sunday night I was standing over his crib, with his eyes moving everywhere, sobbing, begging him to “look at mama.” I knew something wasn’t right.

We had his two month check up the next morning, and thankfully I convinced my husband he should probably call in to work and go with me. Our pediatrician immediately noticed something was up, and recommended our first step should be to go to an Ophthalmologist. They got us in with a Pediatric Ophthalmologist that afternoon.

I was so scared. All I could do during the three hour break between doctors was hold him. And cry. And pray.

After a quick exam, the Pediatric Ophthalmologist informed us that Grant had cataracts. I felt like I was hit by a Mack Truck. The mother of all Mack Trucks. I lost it. I couldn’t hold it together at all. I kept saying, “So he can’t SEE???” Even though I had thought it all weekend, I realized at that moment that I hadn’t really thought it. He started spitting out things about surgeries, glasses, contacts, lens implant surgeries in the future…. Everything from then on is fuzzy to me. He told us we could walk over to his optical shop and look at the glasses. When I saw the lenses, the tears started flowing again. Those terrible glasses could NOT go on my beautiful baby.

The next nine days were L-O-N-G! I couldn’t get a grasp on what we were dealing with. After all, we had a two year old who had never had a medical issue, much less a vision disorder. I hit the internet. I found a million things on just about every other eye disorder, but barely anything on congenital cataracts.

Nine days after finding out, Grant had the surgery on his right eye. Exactly one week later he had the surgery on the left eye. We have never faced anything so scary. My husband and I couldn’t stand watching them walk away with our baby. Two of the greatest feelings we have ever felt were watching them walk back down the hall with him after both of the surgeries. Especially after the second one. We knew at that point we were finished, and we were getting ready to face a new normal.

Grant after surgery #2

The very next day, well there are no words. I will let this video show you what it felt like to see this angel see for the first time. (Please excuse the strong southern accents you hear!)

We are now a month out from the second surgery. We were able to stop all of the drops except for one yesterday (Hallelujah!!!), and we are pretty use to this new normal with glasses. You want to know the funny thing? I prefer Grant with his glasses now. They really have become a part of who he is. I love them because they give him vision. And let’s just face it. I think we will all agree that there is nothing cuter than a little four eyes!

Cheri wrote this story of her whole family getting involved to help her youngest son, Reid, a young boy with Down syndrome, start wearing glasses last summer. The story was originally published on her blog “Raising Reid” and is reprinted here with her permission.  Thank you for sharing, Cheri! – Ann Z

Well, our newest bump in the road has been that Reid’s eyes have started to drift inward…sometimes more his left and then sometimes more his right, and often both eyes at once. We went to see the eye doctor and we were told he was very farsighted, which is what we were told last time as well…except this time they said now that he is older and his attention is held longer on items and he is focusing more to see things up close his eyes are drifting. To help strengthen those muscles we were told it was time for glasses.

I was not sure how he was going to take to glasses….so we set a plan in motion. While we waited the week for the glasses to come in I sent away for some books on getting glasses. We read and read those books in preparation, we oogled and ogled over anyone and everyone we saw in public or on tv that had glasses, and we bought Luke some frames because Luke is Reid’s hero and if Luke will wear glasses chances are better Reid will follow suit. …actually this was a surprise to Luke, I could tell he secretly wanted glasses so when I went back yesterday to pick up Reid’s glasses I asked if they had any discontinued frames that did not have any prescription in the lenses..and viola they did and now Luke has glasses too.

When I walked out of the office with the glasses I quickly took Reid’s out to see just how strong the prescription was and …honestly my heart suddenly had this very sad feeling. I just sat in my car for a bit with that old familiar feeling of being hit in the gut when you realize your child will have one more struggle. When I looked through those glasses I could barely see anything…geez louise they are strong. The poor thing has been living with incredibly blurred vision all this time and it really made my heart sad.

We decided to “unveil” the glasses as if it was a present. We handed Luke his present first with prior directions to cheer and act excited when he opened his case (which truly he was excited to be getting his own glasses ) and then we handed Reid his….which he opened excitedly with all of us standing near cheering, and then we had Toby put his glasses on that we had to dig out of the archives.

Below are pictures from the big “reveal” of the glasses. Read more…

Elliana and I were asked if we would review the book Hoppity Frog Has Two Clever Eyes, by Hazel Kay, illustrations by Joseph Kay, a product of www.kayfunpatch.com.  It is a cute little rhyming book geared for pre-school and kindergarten age children that tells the story of when a little frog named Hoppity gets glasses and begins patching.  Hoppity can’t win at playing catch the flies and when a lady comes to check everyone’s eyes,  Hoppity can’t see them and his parents take him to  the optician, orthopist and ophthalmologist.   He is told he has amblyopia and will need glasses and a patch.  In the end, his amblyopia goes away and he is not wearing glasses anymore.

The illustrations are simple and cute.  Elliana was excited to see that the pages were in black and white for her to color and immediately began coloring it as a gift  ”for a friend who wears glasses.”  I thought the concept of a coloring book / learning book was great and I wish there were more of these available for parents. (Elly’s coloring of a page below)

Although I love this concept, I did however change the wording as I read it to her.  This book actually hit me hard and made tears come to my eyes.  (I read all books myself before reading them with my children) It is supposed to be a cute story about getting glasses, but in all 17 pages,  Hoppity only wears glasses on 3 pages.  In the end, he has clever eyes, and NO glasses.  My baby will always have glasses and I consider her to be one of the most clever children I know.  Also, it is my personal opinion not to use the word lazy.  In no way shape or form would I ever use that to describe my child and I have chosen not to use the term “lazy eye”  with her.  We use strabismus and amblyopia.  She has worked to hard with patching 6-12 hours a day for almost 2 years and has gone through 2 surgeries and their recoveries to be considered lazy.  I do so wish they would not have ended it with his glasses laying on the ground and his Amblyopia gone.  My daughter will always need glasses no matter how good she is at patching. Due to the author’s choice of ending, I have removed the last few pages of the book and ended it at “Hoppity thinks his glasses are cool.  He is excited to show all of his friends at school.”  We can now enjoy the book and I feel better knowing that it goes along with the message I want to send to my kids about glasses and patching.

I see a lot of comments and questions from parents with kids just starting out with glasses wondering if they should use bribery to get their child to wear their glasses, or feeling guilty for bribing their child.  I’m betting that a lot of us used bribery in the beginning to help our children get used to their glasses.  Once your child sees (pun intended) what their glasses do for their vision, most will wear their glasses without extra encouragement.  It’s just getting them to that point that’s the trick.

So how about you?  Did you (do you) use bribery to get your child to wear his or her glasses?  If so, what have you used?  If not, what other strategies did you use to encourage your child to leave the glasses on?

Isa wrote this great story of her son getting glasses the summer before starting kindergarten.  The story was originally posted on her blog Raising SOS and is reprinted here with her permission. – Ann Z

Guess who?

At back to school night, it was easy to pick out Samuel’s self-portrait.

It wasn’t the blonde bed head that tipped us off. It was the blue, rectangular eyeglasses. The funny thing is that I stopped noticing the glasses shortly after he started wearing them. To me, he just looks like Samuel, but to many parents at our school, Samuel is “the kid with glasses.” I get it. I know the girl with club feet, the boy with an eye patch, and the two lonely black kids. I also understand that I really don’t know them at all.

Other parents often ask me how I found out that Samuel had a vision problem. What they are really wondering is if their children will need glasses too. They wonder if there is a medical explanation for their kids’ wiggling, short attention span, and confusion about the numbers 6 and 9. I hate to report that the glasses didn’t solve any of these problems.

We got the official diagnosis, at his five year-old check-up, but we would have figured it out much sooner if we were paying attention. A referral to the optometrist unearthed the fact that Samuel’s “blinking face” was not an attempt to sabotage our family photos, or the early sign of a social disorder; he probably just had a vision problem. Samuel is nearly blind in one eye when looking at objects up close like letters and numbers—all the rage in kindergarten—and had been compensating with his good eye. We had grown so accustomed to his tilt-blink-and-grimace move that we had almost stopped noticing it.

The optometrist informed us that glasses would allow Samuel’s eye to strengthen over time. If he wore them enough, he would likely grow out of them in a few years. It was good news.

I was devastated.

I didn’t want a foreign object on my son’s face. I didn’t want Samuel to look different from the other kids. I didn’t want to nag him to, “put on his glasses.” I was already on his case enough and wanted to reserve a bit of nagging for say, when he started piano lessons.

I really didn’t want eyeglasses in our family photos.

I realized my hypocrisy. I genuinely thought that other people’s kids with glasses were cute. (I also think that triplets are cute, but I do not want a set of my own.) My darling niece wears glasses. One of my best friends’ daughters wears glasses. I love these girls, glasses and all. The husband wears glasses for Pete’s sake and I fell in love with his sexy, smart looks.

Was I really that (gulp) shallow? How could I be so oddly vain about my child when I care little about my own looks—evidenced by my lack of makeup and daily uniform of ponytail, flip flops and stretched out yoga pants.

With prescription in hand, we visited the eyeglass shop to choose Samuel’s new frame this past June. I adopted a weird, overly enthusiastic tone when pointing out his choices.

“Wow, those are really cool! Look at the boys in the poster (gesticulating madly)! They are wearing their glasses at the skate park! How super awesome!”

I started to hate the sound of my own voice. I knew Samuel could see right through me with his newly attuned, five year-old parental-bullshit-o-meter.

Or maybe not. It turned out that he did want glasses just like the boys at the skate park. These specs also happened to have rectangular frames just like Dad’s. Astonishingly, Samuel happily wore the specs all summer. No need for nagging. He loved wearing his glasses. Still, I steeled myself for public kindergarten.

Look at me

Kindergarten started and none of his classmates commented on his glasses. Three months into school, I see why. First of all, kindergarteners are pretty forgiving. A kid with a peg leg, turrets and a penchant for licking can still be pretty popular. One of Samuel’s new friends has a face covered in tiny clear warts. Another wears athletic socks on his arms for “warmth” and another wears mismatched tye-dye separates that highlight his flaming red hair. There are kids who rely on the free “community snack” at recess and wear the clothing we donate to the free clothing exchange.

I stopped worrying about Samuel and his designer glasses.

A few weeks ago, my cousin, a professional photographer, took family photos for our holiday card. We started the shoot indoors with Samuel wearing his glasses, but quickly realized that the camera flash reflected badly off his lenses. We ditched the glasses for the rest of the session.

The photos came out beautifully—thanks to my cousin’s talent and an arsenal of juice boxes. This year, I managed to mail a bonafide Christmas card as opposed to the procrastinator’s New Year’s Card.

The photos look like us—a much cleaner, more color-coordinated version of us—and capture a moment in our family history. A moment when our three small children could still be easily bribed with a juicebox. I adore the photos and know that someday I’ll look back at them to remember what our little kids looked like.

The only thing that will be missing is Samuel’s glasses.

Photo shoot outtake

Melissa who blogs at Ask Miss Mommy, sent in this story of her daughter, Grace.  The story was also published on her blog. – Ann Z

Grace at 6 months

This is the story of Pumpkin (aka Grace). My second born, my baby. Kind, calm, happy baby with a fiery will that explodes with force. Grace came into the world fast, in the middle of the night, giving me only 2 hours to get to the hospital. She was immediately absorbed in nursing with a passion that has yet to diminish.

The focus of my little story, though won’t be on her birth but yet her darling eyes. Back in April 2009 (wow a year ago) I posted about Pseudostrabismus. We continue to monitor her eyes after that just to see what would happen. Would the periodic “real” crossing go away or increase? It increased and in January my baby got glasses.

My wish was granted and we headed back the next week for visit with Dr. M. This time I felt respected, as part of Grace’s team and not just an uninformed bystander. But I was still frustrated. Dr. M couldn’t elicit the crossing either. Finally at the end of the appointment, Grace was sitting on my lap looking at my necklace and she crossed. Never have I been so excited about a somewhat negative thing ever. Dr. M was able to see it in action and validate my concern that, yes it was an issue and true esotropia.

The thing about Grace’s vision is in order to see any crossing she has to be super focused (literally and figuratively) on something close up. Which she frequently is but it’s not the standard way they test vision. The “tests” are done too far away. Grace is also quite young to be given an Accomodative Esotropia diagnosis. It usually appears around 2 years old and she was around 14 months. So I was relieved to have a professional see what I was talking about and note how to test Grace’s vision for the future.

Grace got glasses in January with +200 prescription* (meaning she is farsighted within the mild category). Today we went back for a recheck. Her prescription has increased to +450 (which is now in the high hyperopia range). I’m still a bit confused about the long term outcome for Grace. As far as I know, the best case scenario is to lessen the strain on her eyes (the increase in prescription means her eyes are relaxing so that’s good) and to wean her from glasses as her eyes get stronger and she gets older. I’m trying to stay neutral and just take it one day at a time. We are also patching using a partial occulsion patch for 30 minutes a day.

*Many people post about prescription written as a “+4.5D” number. I was only told a +200 or +450 so that’s what I know. Anyone have words of wisdom on that??

upset Dagny

When my daughter Dagny was five months old she would cross her eyes when she was upset about something. It was a phase that only lasted a few weeks and I was relieved when it stopped. At her one year well-baby checkup her pediatrician asked me if I noticed her right eye turning in. It was so slight that I often thought I might be imagining it but it worsened rapidly over the next few months while I waited for her optical appointment. Her eye crossing became a source of stress for me. Somehow I connected it to my failure as a mother. I know this is completely unrealistic but I knew it must be my fault. I felt as if people were judging her, and me, for it.

On the day of the appointment we sat in the waiting room for hours waiting to be seen. I was nervous the entire time and Dagny was beginning to get antsy. I was relieved when we finally met the staff. They were warm and welcoming. I found out that my daughter is farsighted and she was given a prescription for glasses.  We made progress and I was anxious to get the glasses. I rushed home and began calling optical stores in my area. There are many within walking distance so I knew we would be just fine but one after another the stores told me that they could not help me with a child of 15 months.

“We don’t have glasses that small.”

“I have never worked with a baby before.”

“Maybe you can call another branch. I am not really…uh…can you hold please?”

After making over a dozen phone calls I broke down and cried. I felt defeated. All of the emotions came out at once. I did not want my baby to face this obstacle so early in life. I never had glasses soI could not relate to her vision problems and I know that this will be something she will always have to deal with.

We finally found eyeglasses nearly an hour away. She has had them for a few days now. She wore them all day at first but she is already struggling with them. She bent them on day two and today scratched a lens. I am just going to keep smiling and putting them back on her face. We go back in a couple months to see if her vision has changed any. She still crosses her eyes. I was told that the glasses would correct this but I was not told if it would be instantaneous or gradually.

Dagny's new glasses

I will learn to accept this over time as I learn more about her condition and what I can do to help her. It’s not the worst thing ever and I am so glad that we caught it early. Besides it is the cutest thing ever when a 15 month old says “gyasses.”

Just today I ran across a couple of different cases of Nickelodeon characters wearing glasses or going to the eye doctor.  Maybe Nickoledeon is a big

First, Ann W sent me a link to the book  The Eye of the Fry Cook: A Story About Getting Glasses (Spongebob Squarepants).  It’s a Spongebob Squarepants story about needing and getting glasses.  Apparently, the reading level is for 9-12 year olds, but I know we’ve got some smart kids, and if your child loves Spongebob, it may be worth checking out.

I also happened to stumble across Nick Jr’s page on visiting the Eye Doctor.  It has:

Put the glasses on Uniqua from Nick Jr

• the Backyardigans stickers about glasses.
• printable put the glasses on the character game – like pin the tail on the donkey, but with less pinning, thankfully, who wants their child to think you have to pin their glasses on? (featuring Pablo, YeYe, Walden, and Uniqua – I have to admit, I don’t know who any of these characters are, Zoe could probably tell me, though).
• a set of printable pretend eye charts (with Dora, Yo Gabba Gabba, and Ni Hao, Kai-lan characters).
• a set of Blues Clues eye exam flash cards.

I love the stickers, and the put the glasses on game could be fun, especially if you threw a party to celebrate your child getting glasses.  The printable eye charts kind of bother me, because they really aren’t any kind of real eye chart (and they don’t claim to be), but it could be a nice way to introduce the concept of eye charts to your child if they’ve never done that before.  The eye exam flash cards go over some of the different things that happen at an eye exam.  I’m not sure how much Zoe would enjoy something like that, but again, it may be a nice way to explain what will happen to a child facing their first eye exam.

In any case, it’s nice to see Nickelodeon creating fun games and activities around glasses and eye exams.  I wish that some of the characters stayed in glasses, though.  As far as I can tell, the characters that are wearing glasses in these print outs don’t wear them on a regular basis.  Ah well.  I’ll take what I can get.