Collected Wisdom

There’s been a lot of good advice on help on a lot of the posts and comments on this blog, so I’m compiling them into one page full o’ help. I’ll keep updating this page as we go. Please feel free to leave comments with more thoughts, or if you have a question you’d like to see answered here, leave a comment and I’ll post it on the main blog page and see what help we can get.

If you just found out that your child needs glasses, and you’re looking for some information and reassurance, you may want to take a look at our post on just starting out.

Topics:

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Reasons for going to get your child’s vision checked out

  • Pictures of her with flash show the flash reflection in different parts of the eye (example picture).
  • Problem identified at 3 year old (or any) vision screening
  • Family history of needing glasses at an early age
  • ROP (Retinopathy of Prematurity)
  • Noticed his eyes were ‘jiggly like a sunny side up egg’ and ‘wobbly like jello’
  • One eye is bigger than the other (example pictures)
  • Both eyes appear to be growing larger and bulging
  • Extreme aversion to sunlight (“photophobia”)
  • No red reflex in her eye (caught at 2 week check up)
  • Excessive tearing
  • Eyes are crossing or wandering, even if only occasionally
  • Squinting at TV and computer, books, and anything else he tried to see details on
  • An unusually large pupil or white reflection in one of the pupils
  • Eyes that are red, watery or irritated
  • Closing one eye during tasks such as reading or watching TV
  • Avoidance of detailed near-work such as reading, writing or drawing
  • Needing to use a finger to keep place while reading (after learning to read)
  • Frequent headaches, especially if during school or while reading
  • An unexpected difficulty with reading
  • Complaints of seeing double

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Making the trip to the eye doctor easier

  • If you’re bringing your child in because of misaligned eyes, bring photos that show the misalignment, particularly those that were taken with flash that show the flash reflection in different parts of the eyes. This way, even if your child’s eyes seem aligned on the day of the exam, the doctor can still see the misalignment.
  • Don’t schedule the visit for nap times or times when your child is tired.
  • Reassure your child that it will be fun. Mostly it is like playing games (really).
  • Try to fill out any paperwork and information online or in advance
  • Bring toys and snacks
  • Almost every child is afraid of eyedrops, but don’t lie to them and say that they aren’t going to get them. Some doctors use a special spray that is less scary for kids.

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Things to look for (and ask about) in a place to get glasses

  • A policy that allows you to replace the lens if the prescription changes within 30 (or some reasonable amount) of days.
  • The staff should know how to deal with small children, and should be comfortable working with kids even when they’re crying and/or squirmy.
  • The staff should be knowledgeable in fitting glasses to small children, and be able to do it quickly and accurately.
  • Warranty against scratches on the lenses, especially if you pay for scratch resistant coating.
  • They should offer, and be happy to provide, free adjustments to the glasses whenever you need them. Your kid will be hard on the glasses, they’ll get bent, the screws may fall out, or whatever the reason, they’ll stop fitting nearly as well. You should feel comfortable stopping back in, a lot, to get them re-adjusted.

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Choosing glasses

  • Make sure that the lenses you buy are polycarbonate or Trivex for your children, not plastic or glass.  This is a safety issue.  You can read more about children’s lenses at A Child’s Eyes.
  • Don’t be afraid to consider brightly colored and fun. Your child will have plenty of time for understated, sophisticated glasses when they’re grown. Bright colors look good on kids and reflect their fun side (also, brightly colored glasses are easier to find in the grass).
  • Go when they’re well-rested
  • We have two frames for C because we had to get a new frame when her prescription changed for the first time. (We didn’t want her to be without her glasses for a week.) The last time her prescription changed, I only purchased new lenses and re-used one of the existing frames. Saved some money that way by recycling through two frames until she outgrows them. (Probably not as cost effective if her prescription doesn’t change as much since I would have an extra pair of frames hanging around.)
  • Thinking of ordering glasses online?  Check out our guide to ordering glasses for your children online.

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Getting them to wear glasses in the beginning

  • Talk about how nice he or she looks in the glasses
  • When putting glasses on your child, do it with a smile. While we were trying glasses on Zoe, she was crying and we were getting upset, too, and we kept apologizing to her. The person we worked with recommended that instead, we show her how happy we are when we put glasses on her (even when we aren’t). It didn’t completely stop her crying, but she definitely calmed down a notch once we started acting happier.
  • If your child keeps taking off their glasses, simply put them back on with a smile. If they don’t let you put them on, don’t make a big deal, simply set them aside and try again in a few minutes. It took about 2 weeks for Zoe to get to a point where she leaves the glasses on most of the time.
  • Take off your child’s glasses when they’re in the car – at least at the beginning. It’s likely they’ll take off their glasses and throw them somewhere where they might fall out of the car or get smushed when you open the door.
  • When she put on her pair of glasses, I rewarded her with stamps and explained that each times she wears her glasses we’ll show her how proud we are by giving her a stamp. She seems motivated by this and put them on 4 more times before dinner.
  • Show them glasses-wearing characters (like Arthur, or Harry Potter for older kids). See our page of books for kids for more ideas.
  • We bribed him with a new Thomas toy if he would put them on and leave them alone, so he did, and Daddy let him pick out the most expensive Thomas set that Target had.
  • 1. We read the books from the recommended list before and after the Ophthalmologist visit.
    2. On glasses pick up day, we stopped and got a cherry ICEE treat (something we never had before) and said we were celebrating being able to see better. We did this late afternoon and started letter her “practice” wearing them. Letting her take them off whenever she wanted. We also talked about glasses rules.

    TAKE GLASSES OFF WITH 2 HANDS
    ALWAYS GIVE THE GLASSES TO MOM OR PAPA

    3. On Day 1, we invited her best friend over and watched Arthur gets glasses together. We then had her best friend give her a toy Arthur. He has glasses and the manufacture does a good job securing them on. Elly, has tried many times to get them off and has not succeeded.
    4. We also set up a glasses-free zone. I wanted her to have the freedom to take them off at anytime, so we set up her room as a glasses-free zone. This worked well because she has to take them off for naps and bedtime. Anytime she took her glasses off, we told her it was time to play in her bedroom and moved her there. By the 2nd day, she would stand at her doorway and scream “glasses please”

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Keeping the glasses on once they’re (at least a little bit) used to them

  • If they’re taking their glasses off during tantrums, perhaps quickly taking them from your child before the expected fling while saying “you’re mad, give mommy your glasses”. At least you validate the feeling, and give a reasonable action to follow.
  • Use a glasses strap to keep the glasses on and in the right spot
  • A commenter (Megan Inge) designed an inconspicuous strap that is easy to attach and detach. She wrote, “I hope this will help other kids with glasses to look cool and not NERDY!” http://www.inconspecuous.com.au
  • Have your child wear their glasses to the playground or area where there are more kids so they get used to being around kids and see that they (the other kids) probably won’t care about their glasses.
  • At school, ask if their teacher would be willing to wear glasses (if they have contacts), or choose books about kids wearing glasses.

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Eyepatches and patching

Check out Amomofelly’s Patch Challenge series!  She and her daughter test and review a different patch each Friday and rates them on Cuteness Factor, Durability, Full Eye Occlusion, Performs with sweat, and Patching Support.  She also provides pricing and contact information.  Amblyopia Kids also has a great series of patch reviews, too!

  • When he’s obviously disturbed by the patch, dad wears one too, as does mom. Not to mention his favorite stuffed animals, Tiger and Monkey.
  • When we started the patching he really fought it and dad had to wear a patch too and carry him around the block so that he wouldn’t take it off.
  • He seems to wear the patches when we go places more than when we are in the house.
  • We have been calling it ’sucker patch’ the past few weeks and he gets a sucker when he wears it to distract him to leave it on. He usually doesn’t even finish the sucker, but when he knows he is going to get a sucker he’ll leave it on his face until he gets used to it.
  • We point out raccoons, pirates, ’super why’ cartoon wears a disguise that I tell him is a ‘patch’ over his eyes.
  • The patch we use goes over her glasses, and she is used to wearing her glasses, so does not fight the patch.
  • Although she doesn’t like the patch, she knows that it is helping her see better and as a result she is doing much better with it. While she does get comments (are you a pirate? what’s wrong with your eye? etc.), she has gotten to the point of explaining about her “bad eye” (her words) and how she is strengthening it with her patch.
  • I try to give him as much power over decision making as I reasonably can – do you want to put your patch on in the morning and get your time in, or in the afternoon? You may have to wear it to the park if you choose afternoon. / What pattern would you like today?
  • The best patches for kids are the opaque adhesive patches.. you can find fun patterns or you can get the nude color ones. These are best for children so they can’t take it off as easily.
  • Try putting down medical tape first around the area (it doesn’t hurt as much when you take off the sticky) and place the patch on top of that.
  • I made her a tree poster, with lots of empty branches. Every day, when we take her patch of after six hours, she attaches it to a branch because after all a tree cannot be naked. :-) Every time she fills up a branch with patches (about every week to 10 days), she gets a special treat.  See a picture of the patch tree in this post.

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  1. Amber Yopp
    July 3, 2008 at 2:52 am | #1

    My 12 month old has just been prescribed glasses. Though you can’t tell by looking at him he has a lazy eye, Amblyopia. I have been to two different places to try on glasses for him, but just can’t decide. Our doctor says that his percription will probably change again when he comes back in 6 months. So, I don’t know if I should just get the ones that fit him the best now or if I should try to by a little bigger so that we can simply change the lenses in December. What do you suggest?

  2. July 24, 2008 at 11:04 pm | #2

    I read one members story and it included a bit about keeping her sons glasses on with a ‘nerd strap’. I didn’t want my daughter wearing a ‘nerd strap’ so I desinged an inconspicuous strap that is easy to attach and detach. I hope this will help other kids with glasses to look cool and not NERDY!
    http://www.inconspecuous.com.au
    Regards,
    Megan Inge

  3. Beth
    September 10, 2008 at 11:19 pm | #3

    My kinderdgartener will not wear her glasses at school (she will for speech only). We have tried everything I can think of. She is fine wearing them at home, but she refuses to wear her glasses in her class and in front of her teacher. She is very strong willed and I can’t even bribe her with something from Build-a-Bear. I am thinking about giving her consequences, but I really not sure that will work either. Any suggestions? Thanks.

  4. kendra
    October 6, 2008 at 1:33 pm | #4

    Thank you for all of these wonderful ideas. We are currently going to pick up my daughter’s first pair of glasses. She is 2 and is farsighted (+6). She seems very excited, as she loves accessories.

    I love the idea that mom and dad wore the patches as well to help their child transition. kudos. That may be in our future. Thanks for the website the information you have gathered has been very helpful.

  5. October 6, 2008 at 1:50 pm | #5

    Thanks Kendra! Good luck with your daughter’s glasses. Sounds like she and Zoe would have a lot in common (also 2, also farsighted, also LOVES accessories).

  6. GeorgeB
    October 22, 2008 at 6:40 pm | #6

    If my little guy is anything like yours…I’m gonna take a guess that you’ve made your way through several pairs of glasses by now. (No? well, wait a bit…) Anyway, after many a face plant, an encounter with a coffee table, couple of invincible-two-year-old-leaps-of-faith…we’re now the proud owners of several pairs (or parts) of broken or otherwise beat up glasses. (not to mention spare lens or two). My suggestion…become your own optician…at least for those minor tweaks, bends, etc.

    So far I’ve managed to salvage cable temples, nose pads, replace a lens, and even bend, unfold, or otherwise straighted folds that were not, should not, be present…

    Couple of peeks at our optometrists tools…couple of visits to ebay…presto…home-repair-shop.

    You never know when trouble strikes. For us it always seems to be 5 minutes after the opticians have closed…

  7. Nancy
    April 6, 2009 at 5:42 pm | #7

    Eyepatches and patching:
    My son’s doctor recommended something awesome for eyepatches/patching. He suggested that we use swimming floaties. This will prevent your infant child from taking off the patch. We are currently implementing this method on our 20 month old (former 29 wk preemie) and it’s doing wonders. He is starting to use his left eye (lazy eye) more when he’s not wearing the patch. Therefore the treatment is working amazingly. I would recommend this method versus the eye drops.

    • Kristen
      February 15, 2010 at 3:27 am | #8

      Can you explain what you mean by swimming floaties??

      • February 15, 2010 at 3:33 am | #9

        I’ve heard them called “water wings” (here’s some examples http://pooltoy.com/swimmies1.html). The idea is that they go around your baby’s arms, and are inflated so your baby can’t actually touch her eyes or the patch.

  8. Nicole Marr
    April 6, 2009 at 11:08 pm | #10

    I’m not sure if it’s been mentioned before, but I think investing in even a cheap tape recorder would be helpful for parents to take to the doctor’s with them. Even the afternoon after an appointment I can barely remember everything that gets said – I just remember the general gist of it.

    Also, amomofelly just commented on another topic that sometimes she puts on her husbands glasses to remember what it’s like to live a blurry life. I think that’s something all of us should do once in a while if we can. Not for hours, just for a few minutes (we don’t need to be messing up our eyesight). But it would help understand what our little guys are going through and their frustration.

  9. Mary C
    April 13, 2009 at 11:25 pm | #11

    This is my first post here, I have two kids with glasses. (5 1/2 year old Charlotte; nearly 3 year old Sam) We have been patching Charlotte since she was nearly 3. We had a bad experience with the sticky patches for Charlotte — the Coverlet brand stuck too hard and gave her break-outs around her eyes, and the Ortopads didn’t stick well enough to stay on.

    Once we started with cloth patches that slip over the glasses, we have been doing great. We’ve used the felt style and the foam backed soft cloth style.

    The best trick to getting our daughter to patch consistently, has been saving up daily “patch stickers” for a reward of some kind. She picks the reward at the beginning of the period. We started with things like a trip to the farm to feed the animals, a trip out to get an ice cream cone, a packet of stickers, for 3-4 days in a row, and progressed upward.

    Since she’s 5 1/2 and has some ability to plan ahead, she likes to save her “points” for 3-4 weeks and get a bigger reward, like a trip to Build A Bear for accessories ;) or a doll. Our doctor has been so pleased with the improvement in our daughter’s vision. Patching every day really makes the difference.

    That is great advice, to take a tape recorder with you to appointments. Wrangling two kids with the drops and everything, frequently I don’t catch everything the doctor needs to tell me. (luckily, our opthalmologist is very responsive by phone with follow-up questions!)

  10. Emily
    September 10, 2009 at 1:26 pm | #12

    I just found out a week ago that my 13mo old son, Noah, needs glasses. A wave of emotions have been going through my head. At first..I was angry, upset, and sad that I was going to have to cover up my baby’s sweet face with glasses. Is he always going to be referred to as “that kid with glasses?” Now, I’m more anxious than anything. How am I going to get him to wear his glasses? I can’t reason with him…can I? Will he even understand? I’m hoping that just being able to see better will be the incentive for him to keep them on.

    Another concern is when he’s with his babysitter. I can’t be there to regulate and with all the other kids…I’m just imagining all the ways his glasses will get lost, broken, and most of all…removed.

    I found a pair of fisher price frames that fit him pretty well. We got cable temples which should help keep them up on his face. We should get the glasses today and can start the process tonight. Most of the tips that are on this website are for older kids. What do you do when your child is too young to get it?

    Ugh…sorry for venting. This is the first website I have found that has actually made me feel like I’m not alone in all this.

    • September 10, 2009 at 2:09 pm | #13

      Don’t worry at all about venting Emily. I could have written this exact same thing when I learned that Zoe needed glasses at 14 months. He will get comments and be known as the kid with glasses, but the glasses aren’t going hide his eyes, and they won’t take away from that sweet face.

      Getting him to wear them will probably not be easy, it’s going to be more of a matter of wearing him out, and getting him used to the idea of the glasses, and hopefully he’ll begin to realize that he’s seeing much better. I know some kids that age put them on and never want them off. Zoe wore hers well for the first hour and then fought them for a couple of weeks. But now she wears them and asks for them and it’s not a problem at all. And I love how she looks in them. Just (ha ha, no “just” about this) stay positive and consistent as you put them on him and keep him entertained until he forgets they’re on. Don’t get too frustrated when he throws them off, it’s a totally new thing for him to get used to.

      We made sure that Zoe’s daycare had a glasses case, and told them that if they could put them on her to do that and to praise her (and to keep the other babies from pulling off her glasses), but that if she was giving them a hard time, the glasses should go in the case for a bit and they could try again later. I think that being in daycare probably slowed down how quickly she took to the glasses because I know they couldn’t devote the time and attention to getting her to wear them in the beginning, but they were happy to work with her and do what they could.

      Good luck and keep us updated!

  11. yanathomas
    November 6, 2009 at 4:17 am | #14

    We got glasses for my 14 month old son a few days ago. So far, I can’t get him to leave them on his face for more than 3 seconds at a time. I have tried games, distraction, and a new toy. I’ve even tried holding his arms while his dad reads to him, but then my boy just shakes his head violently and throws a total fit.

    Thoughts? I’m tempted to stop trying for a bit, and then pick it up in a week or two. Or is it better to plough through? Could this be a sign that they don’t actually help him see better?

    • November 6, 2009 at 4:37 am | #15

      Oh, that’s so rough Zoe was the same age when she got her glasses and I really remember not knowing how to get her to wear them. Try to keep putting them on, but don’t make it a power struggle – if he’s fighting you, set them aside for a bit and let everyone calm down. And as terribly hard as it is, try to keep a smile on your face and don’t let him see how much it upsets you. I know that is easier said than done – I was horrible at it, and my husband had to step in a few times and remind me not to try to force it and not to get upset in front of Zoe.

      I’ve heard some people have had great luck taking their kids that age to some place new, so that they have a lot to look at. I do remember that when Zoe first got her glasses, she left them on a long time (well, like 10 minutes) at the optical shop, but then once we got home, she wouldn’t leave them on. So a completely new place might distract him more than games and books at home are.

      Do you wear glasses? Zoe got hers at 14 months, too, and at that age was really into mimicking. I had some luck with having her put my glasses on my face (with a lot of assistance to make sure I didn’t lose an eye), and then she was more willing to let me put them on her face.

      Can you get to the eye glasses shop or eye doctor to have someone check and make sure that the frames aren’t hurting his ears or nose and that they’re sitting correctly?

      I know that it took a couple weeks before Zoe would leave hers on reliably, though I think we had an easier time in those first few days than it sounds like you’re having. But I wouldn’t assume that this means he’s not seeing well with the glasses.

      Please keep us updated on how things go. It does get easier, but it really can take a while for kids that age to accept the glasses.

  12. yanathomas
    November 6, 2009 at 5:39 am | #16

    Thanks for the fast reply! I do wear glasses and will try your suggestions – I think particularly going to a new place could help. Also, I’m not thrilled with the actual glasses. I went to the people my ophthalmologist recommended to find a pair, but they only had a couple of frames in his size. I wish I had checked the net first b/c there’s much more to choose from than what I was shown, and I bet a more rubbery pair would help us now…

    Agreed that it’s a terrible age to introduce glasses – I’ll keep you posted!

  13. Selina
    May 5, 2010 at 11:50 pm | #17

    Okay, so I’m new to this whole world of glasses. So new in fact, we haven’t even recieved our glasses yet. We were informed just today that our three year old, who also suffers from Neurofibromatosis (which is the reason we were there in the first place_),is farsighted. I’ll be honest, I wanted to cry!!!!!! I know there are worse things, but as you all know, when it comes to your children, a scraped knee makes you want to cry!! Then we went to try on glasses, the whole time I’m making it seem so fun, telling her how beautiful the glasses are. I’ve been telling her all day how lucky she is to get new glasses, the whole time I want to cry!!!! Then I used the simulator link found on this sight, and I can’t believe how bad my baby’s eyes are!!!!!!! You will probably be seeing a lot of me on here so, I will just say thanks in advance for dealing with my madness!!!!!

  14. Selina
    May 5, 2010 at 11:56 pm | #18

    Me again……I read a response about mimicking…..I don’t wear glasses, nor does my hubby or 11 year old daughter, but, do they sell frames with just glass in them???? I’d be willing to invest in a pair just so my girl doesn’t feel awkward.

  15. Stacey
    August 23, 2010 at 3:24 am | #19

    My 15th. mn old was just dx. with amblyopia and vision of 6.50 L and 2.50 R. I dont know what these numbers mean, I’m familiar with 20/20 type #s. Our OP only prescribed glasses, no patching, does this sound right?

    • August 23, 2010 at 2:02 pm | #20

      Welcome Stacey! The numbers show that your 15 month old is farsighted (has hyperopia), the left eye is quite a bit worse than the the right. You can read more about what those numbers mean here: http://littlefoureyes.com/2010/01/25/understanding-your-childs-glasses-prescription/

      Since your child is still young, it sounds like your PO is starting out with just glasses to see if providing the correction will help both eyes see clearly. If your child still is only using one eye (probably the right, since that one has the weaker prescription), then you might need to move to patching.

  1. October 8, 2008 at 5:14 pm | #1
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  3. June 24, 2009 at 3:11 am | #3