opinions on second opinions?
This question comes from a comment from Ingrid. Have you gone for a second opinion? How do you reconcile when you get two conflicting opinions from two doctors? – Ann Z
Just on a different topic. I would love to hear peoples opinions on getting a second opinion! I explained this to Paris’s optometrist and he said “well I probably wouldn’t have done that, Dr Smith would not appreciate it I am sure!” I was quite taken aback as I am sure a lot of concedrned parents do the same! What do you think?
Categories: medical stuff
doctors, second opinions
Haven’t sought the opinion of another PO yet, as N’s eyes have been stable thus far. But I have researched other PO’s in the area in the event.
I myself wouldn’t hesitate for a second. Nothing should stand in the way of seeking second, or as many as necessary, particularly in light of some of the complexities shared within the blog.
In one of my first visits, the PO encouraged me to seek a second opinion if I ever wanted one (Did I say I love my PO?) She said, make sure to schedule it with a pediatric opthamologist as eyes and children are there specialty. She said that she has a list of several PO’s within a 4 hour drive of her office that she would consider “great” doctors.
My hubbie and I talked that if things do not improve or surgery is more likely we will get a second opinion. I think a parents gut feeling is what you should listen too. If you are ever in doubt or feel like your questions are not being answered – I say – get a second opinion!
If they don’t agree… I’d thank them anyway, take all the information home and have a long talk with your spouse or other family support group to decide what to do next.
Thank you so much for those responses. You know, my husband said the same when I told him. He thought it was perfectly ok and normal to go for a second opinion. I guess I needed confirmation in my own mind that it was in fact the correct diagnosis as we did not have long with him AT ALL. I did try to get another appointment with the original PO to ask questions and could not get in for months so I had no other option and when a cancellation became available at another top PO I took it! I have held off on filling the new script from this doc to see what the original PO says in two weeks. It will be very interesting. I have also heard that some PO’s will not give the full prescription for myopia as they try to build up gradually? It is all very confusing still at this stage. I am looking forward to asking more questions.
Our PO does not give the full perscription. Elly is a -7, but her perscription is a -5.75. They explained that they want her eyes to improve. I guess if the perscription is full strength, the eye won’t have to work as hard to see. Make sure you write down all you questions before you go and bring your hubbie or a friend with you to the appointment. That way if your little one gets antsy, they can take them outside of the exam room for a walk while you have some 1:1 time with the DR. I WISH I would have done this our first couple visits!
Thanks so much amomofelly! That is great to know. Yes, I have written down all my questions this time and my husband is going to come also so I can ask in peace! Do you know does myopia tend to get worse? My daughter is 14 months and -3 in the right eye. Plano in left. Just wondering becasue she is so young with a moderate amount of short sightedness now, can I expect it to get a lot lot worse!
I think you should feel 100% comfortable getting a second opinion. It is your child and your decision and if something doesn’t feel right, trust your instincts. Our first PO really did not like kids. He was terrible with my daughter, and acted frustrated that she was scared at her first appointment. He only liked the challenge of pediatric surgery, but not the actual appointments with the children. We have since found a new Dr. that is great with my daughter. It was really well worth the switch! Luckily in my case the second Dr. had the same opinion as the first…and a better personality! Good luck!
My 3 year old was examined by a optomitrist. Should I get a second opinion by a pediatric optomitrist? I am concerned his prescription may be too high. I noticed when he gets tired his eye for a short second looks like it turns in. Very worried about putting glasses too strong on him.
Hi Trish, Usually eyes crossing is a sign that your child’s prescription is possibly not strong enough – kids will cross their eyes if they are farsighted in order to better focus. Is your son nearsighted, or farsighted? If he’s nearsighted, then it may be that the prescription is too strong, but if it’s only happening when he’s tired, it may not be a big problem.
I would definitely recommend seeing a pediatric ophthalmologist or optometrist – someone that has special training in children’s vision and measuring children’s eye sight. If nothing else, it sounds like a second opinion would give you some peace of mind.
Best of luck and let us know how things go!
Thanks Ann
I did not get his prescription filled yet. I took him just yesterday to a optometrist. She gave him a prescription for +575/+600, seemed really strong.
I just got off the phone with the doctors office and she said he has strabsmus and he is far sighted. His eye only turns in when he is very tired just for a second or two. It really concerns me. Maybe he needs more testing. Does she base tis off of his answers to testing? It did not seem age appropriate.example: How many layers on the cake? He is not going to know that. She did dialate his eyes. Did she get the answer from that?
She should have based the prescription off of dilating his eyes and looking at the shape of his retina. The other testing sounds more like it was designed to make sure that he is seeing similarly out of both of his eyes (that is, not developing amblyopia where the brain ignores input from one eye).
If possible, I would take him in to see a pediatric ophthalmologist for a second opinion. A prescription of +5.75/+6 is relatively but not severely strong – that was Zoe’s prescription at her strongest. If that is his prescription, then he probably should be in glasses.
Thank you
We just found out our 20 month old daughter needs glasses. We live in a town that doesn’t have a PO so went to a regular Optomologist. We felt comfortable with him but were wondering if we should get a second opinion from a PO that would be a few hour drive for us. Our current thought is to see if things improve over the first few months and if not get a second opinion but are a bit torn about it. Any thoughts?
Similar to Emma, we just found out our 9 month old needs glasses. I took her in because of a history of lazy eyes in the family and I’ve noticed her eyes slightly cross (especially in pictures). Anyways it’s not that i don’t believe the optometrist I just want to be certain she needs glasses. Her prescription is a +4.0 in both eyes. What are your thoughts on a second option for another optometrist? I did make another appointment but was put off guard when she said usually they don’t see children under 2.
Welcome Angela! I think a second opinion is absolutely fine, especially since you’re looking for some peace of mind. I would be wary of a place that doesn’t work with children under 2, though. Doing an exam with a baby is very different than one for a 2 year old, and I’d want to be sure I was seeing someone who is used to kids that young. I would check InfantSEE http://www.infantsee.org/ to see if there are Optometrists in your area that are used to working with babies, or check http://aapos.org to find a Pediatric Ophthalmologist in your area.
Hi, i read you post and it seemed as if i was writing it myself.
I just recently found out that my 10 month old baby boy needs glasses.
He is farsighted and his eyes jerk sometimes and he has an unequal pupil size.
I was devastated, there isnt any significant history of weak eye sight in our family
so this came as a complete surprise.
i took him to see a pediatric ophthalmologist because he was bringing things too near to his eye to see.
He gave us a prescription, said everything else is fine but im thinking of getting a second opinion.
i hope your little one is doing well.
Welcome Saira! I think this comes as such a surprise to most of us, which makes it so hard. Please keep us updated and let us know if you get a second opinion.
Thanks Ann. I appreciate your opinion. I’ve check out the website you sent but since I live in Alberta Canada, I’m going to have to seek Canadian Associations. I’m going to try googling to find some. I highly doubt where I live there is any specialized optometrist though. In saying that I’m going to take her to this other optometrist this week and see what they have to say. What are your thoughts on telling them or not telling them I’m getting a second opinion?
Angela – if you happen to come back and check this, did you find anyone in Alberta? I am also in Alberta and about to start searching for a specialist myself as I have some big concerns and can’t seem to get past the looooong waiting list we’re on right now!
Hi! I have a 3 year old that was just referred to a pediatric opthamologist. We went today and he gave her a prescription for +5.75. The reason why she was sent is one of her eyes drifts to the outside once in a while. I have only seen it once, my husband has seen it maybe a dozen times. I was expecting a “lazy eye” diagnosis, not glasses. I was completely taken aback. When the optician explained that it was a fairly strong prescription I became even more skeptical. Is it possible to never notice anything and need a prescription that strong? She doesn’t hold books close, she holds them on her lap. She recognizes all her letters, etc. I guess when the optician used the term “coke bottle” I would expect her to be tripping over things and running into walls. Anyone able to provide insight into exactly what a +5.75 might mean? The opthamologist didn’t explain anything at all, the optician really didn’t provide anything helpful either. Thanks in advance!
Hi Jenn! I had the same experience – when I took my daughter in because her eyes were crossing, I fully expected that we might have to patch one eye, I was taken aback when I learned she’d need glasses.
+5.75 is a strong farsighted prescription, it’s very common for parents of children with farsighted prescriptions to not notice any problem (I didn’t notice anything). Farsighted children can focus, at least somewhat if not perfectly, but it causes eyestrain, and is one of the causes of their eyes going out of alignment – and that can lead to “lazy eye”. I have definitely noticed now that my daughter is in glasses, that when she doesn’t wear her glasses (generally only when they’re being repaired), she gets tired much more quickly, but she doesn’t run into walls or trip over things.
There’s a post that goes into detail on what the different parts of a prescription are: http://littlefoureyes.com/2010/01/25/understanding-your-childs-glasses-prescription/ That post has links to online simulators that show what someone with a certain prescription might see, but again, your daughter is probably seeing more clearly than the simulations suggest.
Let us know how things go!
I just went in for my second opinion today! It took 4 months to get an appointment at this highly regarded children’s hospital X. I had already taken my 2 year old to another highly regarded pediatric vision clinic Y, but I didn’t really care for my doctor.
The prescription and treatment recommended was exactly the same, but I feel better knowing that at least two different doctors agree on what should be done. My son has accommodative esotropia and almost +7 in both eyes. It was such a big prescription I really felt nervous about not getting a second opinion.
One other thing — I did feel like the second doctor seemed a bit defensive. “I went to school with Doctor Y. I have a lot of respect for Doctor Y. I have full confidence that Doctor Y knows the correct prescription.” GOOD GRIEF! I almost felt like I shouldn’t have told the clinic that this was going to be a second opinion.
Wow, that’s too bad that the second doctor seemed so defensive. But I’m glad you got a second opinion and that you’re feeling better about the prescription and treatment. Peace of mind like that is worth a whole lot!
I feel teribble after learning that my 3 yr daughter is +8 on both eyes. The problem here is that she sees better when she comes closer. Is this opposite than +8 should be. I would expect she not to see anything from 2 feet distance.
She had her eyes dilated so I expect it to be accurate but can’t beleive.
We just found out my daugther (Twin A) requires glasses, I am completly shocked and very upset, her eye was only turning slightly, I have a fair bit of experience with crossed eyes due to my adopted older son, who had several surgeris, glasses and many hours of patching and feel that the doctor is jumping the gun with glasses, it was a horrendous appointment, he was terrible with her, she was terrified, it took three of us to hold her down, how is it possible he could even figure anything out during that? It was basically the same office as an adult, and nothing to remotley engage my daughter like I had seen in previous offices and really feel we need a second opinion before the rest of her life is sacrificed wearing glasses, I did not have a pleasant childhood due to the teasing from wearing glasses and do not want my daughter to go through this. And there is nothing more I hate than hearing how cute with glasses when it is people just trying to be polite. The doctor also switched over directly to speaking to my husband when I was upset, almost feeling like I wouldn’t do what is best for her, I will do what I have to do, this just doesn’t feel right
Oh how awful! I definitely think you need a second opinion, it’s not ok to have a doctor treat her or you that way, especially since you’ll be seeing the eye doc a lot if she does need glasses. Good luck and keep us updated!
It’s strange, the “kids in glasses are so cute” comment bugs me too, even though I do think all the kids in the photo gallery look great. But they’d all be just as cute without glasses, and no one here would put their kids in glasses if it wasn’t necessary. Maybe that’s why that comment grates.
Sent from my iPhone
Well ladies I have to disagree with you on the “kids in glasses are cute” being an annoying comment. Yes of course we would not put our child in glasses if we didn’t have to but I think people genuinely do comment because a: lets face it you don’t see too many very little kids in glasses and b: they are darn cute in them!! I don’t think people go out of their way to make a comment just to be polite. I mean some kids have braces, some kids have hearing aids, we are all different and that is fine
I have learned that at the end of the day I was the one who was doing all the worrying about Paris being in glasses when really it was no big deal to anyone else, including Paris. Not ONE child at her kindy has mentioned them, or seemed to even notice them, nor have any of the parents. In fact, if anything, I like the fact that she is that gorgeous little girl in the adorable glasses and everyone just loves her 
. I guess what I am saying is that I really think it is the parents who can become hung up on the glasses thing when really in the scheme of things it is a very small detail 
but one that makes them unique and that’s ok by me 
Very good point about it often being us as parents who are the ones worried, and it’s often no big deal at all for anyone else. And I love, too love that Zoe is the cute girl with glasses (though I hated the idea that that’s what she’d be when we first got glasses). It is a very small thing, and absolutely worth keeping in perspective.
I’m having a really hard time figuring out what bugs me about the comment. Because when someone tells me that Zoe looks cute in glasses, I totally agree. And I tell people all the time that their child will look great in glasses, and I believe it. And for sure, people saying that kids in glasses are cute are not trying to be mean or anything. For me, it bugs me when it isn’t said about a specific child, but rather, a general statement. And again, I think kids in glasses look great, I wouldn’t have the photo gallery up (which reminds me, I have more pictures I need to add) if I didn’t. I don’t know. I probably need more coffee this morning before I try writing anything
I found out my 3 year old needs glasses. We were referred to a Ped. Opthamologist by her pediatrician. Honestly I was ok with going, but wasn’t thinking she would really need glasses.
But she does, she is farsighted and has astigmatism in both eyes. Her prescription is the following:
sphere Cylinder Axis
Right eye +2.25 +3 090
Left eye +2.25 +3.5 100
Thinking about it, she does typically stand close to the tv to watch it and sometimes pulls books very close to her eyes. But still I have a little doubt. When I talked to someone while getting her glasses, multiple times I was told her prescription is strong and that she sees blurry and hasn’t really seen me.
My question – how is it that she has been able to walk around and not run into things then, and recognizes letters and such? My husband is doubting that she really has as blurry of sight as I was told. Not that we think she shouldn’t get glasses, but he wonders how she can find me in a store or recognize tinkerbell from a book a ways away?
We don’t have another ped opthamologist in the area but then I wonder if we should see an optometrist too? There aren’t any specific for Peds in our area.
Hi Heather! She does have a very strong astigmatism prescription. I don’t know if you took a look, but there’s a nice prescription simulator here http://www.eyeland-design.com/webtools/53828496ca1045c06/53828496900d96002/index.html, so you can see how blurry things were. Kids are so amazing and adaptive, and they learn how to cope with vision issues, especially if she’s always seen this way, she probably is able to recognize things in books, and has learned how to find you, even if you’re a bit blurry from far away.
I wouldn’t rule out a second opinion though if you’re feeling unsure. I would really make sure that whoever you see is experienced with young children though. Eye exams with doctors who don’t understand kids are not good.
Good luck and let us know how it goes!
Thanks Ann I love that web site