Your stories – Dagny’s glasses

baby girl with crossed eyes, strabismus, esotropia

upset Dagny

When my daughter Dagny was five months old she would cross her eyes when she was upset about something. It was a phase that only lasted a few weeks and I was relieved when it stopped. At her one year well-baby checkup her pediatrician asked me if I noticed her right eye turning in. It was so slight that I often thought I might be imagining it but it worsened rapidly over the next few months while I waited for her optical appointment. Her eye crossing became a source of stress for me. Somehow I connected it to my failure as a mother. I know this is completely unrealistic but I knew it must be my fault. I felt as if people were judging her, and me, for it.

On the day of the appointment we sat in the waiting room for hours waiting to be seen. I was nervous the entire time and Dagny was beginning to get antsy. I was relieved when we finally met the staff. They were warm and welcoming. I found out that my daughter is farsighted and she was given a prescription for glasses.  We made progress and I was anxious to get the glasses. I rushed home and began calling optical stores in my area. There are many within walking distance so I knew we would be just fine but one after another the stores told me that they could not help me with a child of 15 months.

“We don’t have glasses that small.”

“I have never worked with a baby before.”

“Maybe you can call another branch. I am not really…uh…can you hold please?”

After making over a dozen phone calls I broke down and cried. I felt defeated. All of the emotions came out at once. I did not want my baby to face this obstacle so early in life. I never had glasses soI could not relate to her vision problems and I know that this will be something she will always have to deal with.

We finally found eyeglasses nearly an hour away. She has had them for a few days now. She wore them all day at first but she is already struggling with them. She bent them on day two and today scratched a lens. I am just going to keep smiling and putting them back on her face. We go back in a couple months to see if her vision has changed any. She still crosses her eyes. I was told that the glasses would correct this but I was not told if it would be instantaneous or gradually.

picture of young toddler in glasses

Dagny's new glasses

I will learn to accept this over time as I learn more about her condition and what I can do to help her. It’s not the worst thing ever and I am so glad that we caught it early. Besides it is the cutest thing ever when a 15 month old says “gyasses.”

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7 responses to “Your stories – Dagny’s glasses

  1. I could have written this post almost verbatim, as our experience was so similar. My 22 month old was diagnosed with farsightedness and her right eye was amblyopic. This was four months ago, and here’s what we’ve learned so far: Her eyes didn’t straighten right away, and they still aren’t completely straight. But at our 8 week checkup, her right eye went from turning in 45 degrees to 15 degrees. Our dr. was pleased and decided to do an eye drop routine (rather than a patch). And yep, our glasses are as wonky and scratched as can be. I’ve since fashioned a little strap to go around her head which has helped keep them on. I think she yanks them off when they slide around. Take care and good luck!

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  2. She’s adorable & the scratching and breaking will become normalcy for you. We went to our optical shop about once a month for breaks or tune ups the first few years Aubrie was in glasses. She got hers at 20 months. Now she’s 4 and so far one break since July – she’s doing great 🙂

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  3. Hi there, she is gorgeous. I can totally relate to your post, in fact I could have written it myself as I had all thos feelings when my little one was diagnosed with short sight and amblyopia in her right eye and was prescribed glasses at one. She is now two and we also do some patching. I can totally understand your frustration with the breakages and scratches etc but I can tell you it does get better, much better. Paris is only 27 months and already she is much much better with her glasses. Its amazing how adaptable kids are and how they get to know about their glasses. Paris already puts hers on herself now and uses both hands as we have shown her. She knows to be gentle with them and doesnt like anyone touching them! I know it seems like it will always be like this but believe me it wont it only gets easier. We have now moved up to some very pretty glasses, we dont need the cables around the ears any more and things are much better. I would highly recomment the cables to start though, they make such a difference. We do have her frames moulded so the arms hug the back of her ears though and this really helps keep them in place. On the emotional side of things, I totally understand the feelings you are experiencing. I can tell you it is very very normal. I only realised Heather has said she could have written your post verbatim after I had written the same thing so goes to show you you are not alone. You are doing a great job, keep it up and it will get better, promise!

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  4. Hello,
    Dagny is just adorable in her new glasses. My daughter is a little older (4 now, 3 when she got glasses). She is also farsighted and crosses her eyes. When she first got glasses they straightened her eyes out pretty quickly. I’m not sure if it was instant but I do remember her eyes being straight with the glasses on. After about 2 months though she started crossing again and the Dr put her in bifocals which solved all the crossing. My daughter just needed that extra help up close which I guess can be a little common with our kids. Not to say that’s what your daughter needs, I’m not a Dr., but it’s possible. It can also mean that the Rx just isn’t strong enough or too strong or other reasons, I’m sure. Just ask your questions. Main thing is that her eyes need to be keep straight so as not to develop more problems. But she is just as cute as a button. Good luck…

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  5. She looks so cute. I know all too well how you felt also. I have to say I was so surprised to find out I could get infant glasses or even young children glasses in Hawaii. I thought I would be hard to fine but No optical stores sell them here. Alyvia Physical therapist recommended a brand. She said that they are the only ones that her patients keep on and wear all the time. I ended up ordering them on line. They work well for her first pair at 14 months old. They will work till about 3 ½. The nice thing about them is I don’t have to worry about them breaking and so far we have had no scratches. It is nice because if we are at like a play group and she takes them off I don’t have to worried about kids bending them. The parent are like oh my don’t touch I’m like no big deal they are really hard to break. LOL She has only had them for about a month. I would like to buy a pair like what you got I will have to look when we go on vacation (I don’t know when) I would like a normal pair not the plastic ones we have. (I will keep both) The once we have are nice for playing outside and when she is rolling on the ground and what not. However I will say they are cute and stay in place and don’t have to be adjusted. Alyvia does keep them on all the time. She doesn’t even relies they are there most days.
    This is such a great web site and I am so happy I found it. I feel so much better knowing I am not the only one that feels the way I did when I found out she needed glasses. People just don’t understand and then think I am crazy for the way I feel. I want to say it isn’t your child so you have no idea.

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  6. Hey check out Miraflex frames:) They are the best!! My little boy (2yrs) Was recently diagnosed with farsightedness (+5.00/+5.25) and he crosses his eyes. Google Miraflex baby and you will find the frames. You can bend them every which way and they don’t break and they have a strap:) Check them out. Our Peds Ophthalmologist showed them to us and said they were great for rough little boys. Maybe yours won’t take such a beating since you have a sweet little girl.

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