open thread – responses

I’m pretty used to people commenting on Zoe’s glasses, and it seemed like she was getting fewer comments, but then there’s always those days.  This weekend we were out and about running errands, and I have no idea what it was, but we kept getting stopped by people who wanted to ask about her glasses, or tell us how cute they were (yes, we know).

Do you like when people comment on your child’s glasses?  Or would you rather they not make any big deal out of them?  I know I go back and forth between enjoying the attention Zoe gets and just finding it a little too much – for her part, Zoe doesn’t seem to care.  What’s the stranges comments or questions you’ve gotten (the weirdest for me was when someone asked if Zoe was wearing Sarah Palin glasses, which was just inexplicable – Zoe’s glasses were way cuter.)?

And this brings me to a related question – I’ve noticed more children who are patching, and I want to say something to them, along the lines of congratulating them for working to strengthen their eye, or complimenting the patch if it’s colorful or fun, but from reading the stories here and other places, it seems that kids who are patching are more self-conscious of the patches, and that a lot of parents work hard to get them to forget they’re there during the patching session.  So I’ve stayed quiet

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16 responses to “open thread – responses

  1. It is rare that we see another child in glasses, rarer still one wearing a patch.

    We do take every opportunity to bring another child in glasses to N’s attention when we can, as we feel it can only reinforce his perceptions.

    These days, when we do, N’s response usually takes the form of a long lingering stare at the other child…not much else…and then back to the business of play, etc. Perhaps some mutual quiet understanding is exchanged, I don’t know.

    With patching, I only know that it’s unpleasant and decreases vision (with a beneficial end result in mind, I know) having worn one myself for however short a time…so I stay quiet too, Ann.

    Our guy dons his patch every morning and goes right to daycare and into a crowd of toddlers, so whatever courage it takes to get through patch time (which I imagine is plenty for a toddler) must take a lot to muster up. I imagine it’s the same for other kids too and leave them to it.

    G

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  2. We always point out other kids her age in glasses & she loves it. We don’t patch and live in such a small community that I’ve honestly only see a few kids in glasses and absolutely none in patches. I too don’t think I’d point it out since we don’t patch and we don’t personally know what that entails for that child. Luckily, the comments get less frequent as Aubrie grows. Now that she’s 3 1/2 we hardly get comments about her glasses. She’s tall for her age so I think that helps out too. I think people see it as more common since she’s bigger, but they also typically think it’s for distance as well and are shocked that she’s truly farsighted. What I think is very interesting is now that Aubrie can communicate so well, I can ask her questions about how she feels in her glasses. She can be extremely shy around her peers & doesn’t EVER want to do anything to possibly make herself stand out. When it comes to her glasses she thinks they are perfectly normal for her age. She says that no one tries to take them off or talks about them when she’s around peers. That always makes a Mom feel a bit better! She starts preschool in August so this may all change…hopefully not though!

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  3. Believe it or not, we get the most comments from other kids when Ellie has her patch on. They always want to know what happened to her eye. I guess, they think there is no eye under the patch or something. 🙂 Ellie really does not care if they comment on her patch or her glasses. I don’t usually mind when parents or kids do unless I am in a hurry to get out of wherever I am at since one, two, three of four of my children are falling apart. 🙂

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  4. I do point out other kids wearing glasses and sometimes Belle does too. She always says things like “look at her pretty glasses” or tells them that she likes their glasses.

    For the patching, we’ve only one time seen another child patching and Belle told them “I wear a patch too, see!”. The mother ( a complete stranger) practically wanted to HUG me. Since then I’ve met 2 other moms local who have kids that patch but they are both boys who are older and Belle has never seen them with the patch on.

    We get a lot of comments when Belle is patching both from adults and kids. The kids tend to ask innocent questions and Belle handles them fine. She’s been asked everything from “Do you have an eye under there?” to “Why are you wearing that sock? (just today we got that one!!) Something about it coming from another kid seems to make it OK though, I guess Belle can tell it is just a curious question. After all, Belle recently asked my sister (who covers her head for religious reasons)..” if she had hair under there” . A kid can ask that and get away with it… adults, another story!!!

    The parents usually make comments that I wish they didn’t because they are things like “what’s WRONG with her eye” or “Did she have an operation”. These comments bother Belle. If someone says something positive about her patch like “Oh.. that is a really cool eye patch” or “I like your eye patch”.. She likes that. I appreciate the positive comments and clearly she does too.. the negative-ish ones… we’d live without.

    I would say compliment them on their patch – they need all the positive they can get! patching is tough!!!!!

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  5. I must say I have never received a negative comment about Paris’s glasses but I know what you mean Ann, sometimes you just dont want to discuss the glasses and other days I open comments with open arms! I think she is so beautiful in her glasses so I guess I think everyone else does too! We are about to begin patching soon just for a couple of hours a day and I have to say I am feeling daunted about it! I think to be honest I will probably do the patching while we are at home to avoid all the questions! I dont know if that is the right thing to do but I think that is how I will start anyway! Does anyone have any tips for how to have a positive start to patching?

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    • Ingrid,

      I would try to patch initially at home but I wouldn’t stick to just doing it at home. In our case it is actually easier on Belle when she is out and about and doing things and kind of forgets she is wearing it because she is busy etc vs at home – she has more time to think about it and take it off (hide it, etc).

      The questions are annoying but not worth getting in the way of us living our life and getting out there!!!

      ~MT

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  6. I am SO TIRED of people commenting about her patch I could SCREAM! One week, we were averaging 10 comments a day and some people have NO TACT. Why would a grown up ask a toddler, “Whats wrong with your eye?” or “Does she have a missing eye?” in a tone of voice like there is something WRONG with my child. It really is NONE OF THEIR business. Every-time someone comments, she takes her glasses off and it is a struggle to put them back on. She throws her body and says “No patch, I want a break.” (Sorry for the vent, I have considered making a t-shirt that says, NO MORE EYE QUESTIONS, I’m patching to make my eye stronger.”) On the flip side, I really don’t mind positive comments (with a kind, caring voice), they seem to help and are reassuring to both Elly and I.

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    • That’s kind of what I was wondering – and worried that comments, even well-meant comments, could derail the patching. Do you think a sticker or something that said “the patch makes my eye stronger” would help – or just encourage more questions?

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      • Unfortunately, I think RUDE people will be rude no matter what. =( The positive comments do help and don’t de-rail. I know that Elly is more sensitive to how (the tone) people say things than what they say. In less than 20 minutes, 2 different moms came up to ask me about her patch because it was so cute and where I found the patch (framehuggers). Elly was really cute and told them that it was “much better than the sticker ones.” and was beaming ear to ear.

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  7. Belle has a shirt that says “Patching Princess” and the other side says “My patch helps make my eye strong and beautiful” (or something like that).

    I got it from Patch Pals – great shirt but it hasn’t stopped the questions/comments.

    We are at a point now where the positive comments are fine it is just the dumb ones that derail. And yes, like Elly above… the TONE is key.

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  8. on a different note can anyone tell me how long patching goes on for. We are having good success at keeping Paris’s frame hugger on for the two hours per day but just wonder how long we will have to continue, weeks, months, years? I have no idea and how does the specialist know? Expecially in such little children (Paris is 21 months).

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  9. I think it is different for each child and for each “disease” of the eye. Our daughter has congenital esotropia (from birth and we have been patching since she is four months old), and we will be patching until she is 10 (years-old that is :-)) , which is when the eyes are pretty much fully developed. That said, if your daughter’s vision improves to be equal to the better eye, your doctor will back off of patching and watch the eye closely to see if it reverts back to worse vision. If it does, then the patching will be increased again. I have heard some stories where they were able to patch just for a few months and then the eyes remained stable after patching. It may be that you have to go in spurts with times of no patching as the eyes continue to develop until age 10. That’s the information that I have gathered from our PO anyways. I am so happy Paris is doing well with the patching! That’s great news!

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  10. I just had to vent a little today so here goes….. I had one of those days yesterday when I really felt like Paris’s glasses seemed like such a big deal to everyone else but me!! From one little girl asking me if she was blind in one eye (that really hurt) and another asking if she would always have to wear glasses in a tone that was very pittying!! why is that such a bad thing??? It just really got me down. Needless to say Paris was oblivious to it all but I have to say it was one of those days where it really affected me and I admit to feeling depressed about her having to wear glasses and ended up dwelling on it all day. Perhaps the glasses are just so part of Paris to us as she has worn them since she was less than one year old but I guess to others glasses on a three year old is still not very common. I think a lot of parents whant to ask more questions but don’t want to seem rude. It is hard to express those feelings to someone who does not have a child in glasses so I just wanted to get it out there and off my chest. For the record, we also get a lot of genuine comments about how adorable she is in her glasses but I guess sometimes I just wish people would not say anything about her glasses and just see her as Paris and not the little girl with the glasses 😦

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    • Oh Ingrid, vent away! Those responses are so hard to hear. We mostly get lots of positive responses to Zoe’s glasses, too, but then it seems like you get a day when everyone is saying thoughtless things.

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