little four eyes

It’s a common concern (and one that I hold) for parents of young kids in glasses:  Will my child be teased because of their glasses?  It doesn’t help that the plot of many of the books and movies about kids in glasses revolve around the child being teased and then figuring out how to deal with it.  But I wonder, how much of a reality is the teasing?  As far as I’m aware, no one has ever teased Zoe about her glasses.  Once at the playground, I overheard one older boy telling his father, “want to hear something silly?  There’s a baby in glasses!”  But while he was talking about Zoe, he wasn’t taunting her or even talking directly to her, and luckily, she was young enough that I don’t think she caught it at all.

I do know that eyewear is a lot nicer looking than it was when most of us were kids, and that more and more kids are wearing glasses, though usually at an older age than our kids.  Does this mean that the teasing for glasses will be less?  There was that study in 2008 that found that kids do not think glasses make other children less attractive or less athletic, though they do think other kids in glasses are smarter and more honest.  Does that translate into less teasing?

I’d love to hear from parents of older children about whether their kids have been teased about glasses, or whether they’ve observed kids making fun of others about their glasses.

Have their face painted like a tiger.

tiger face

We got just as many comments as usual this afternoon, but not one of them had anything to do with her glasses.

I’m pretty used to people commenting on Zoe’s glasses, and it seemed like she was getting fewer comments, but then there’s always those days.  This weekend we were out and about running errands, and I have no idea what it was, but we kept getting stopped by people who wanted to ask about her glasses, or tell us how cute they were (yes, we know).

Do you like when people comment on your child’s glasses?  Or would you rather they not make any big deal out of them?  I know I go back and forth between enjoying the attention Zoe gets and just finding it a little too much – for her part, Zoe doesn’t seem to care.  What’s the stranges comments or questions you’ve gotten (the weirdest for me was when someone asked if Zoe was wearing Sarah Palin glasses, which was just inexplicable – Zoe’s glasses were way cuter.)?

And this brings me to a related question – I’ve noticed more children who are patching, and I want to say something to them, along the lines of congratulating them for working to strengthen their eye, or complimenting the patch if it’s colorful or fun, but from reading the stories here and other places, it seems that kids who are patching are more self-conscious of the patches, and that a lot of parents work hard to get them to forget they’re there during the patching session.  So I’ve stayed quiet

First, apologies for not updating the site or answering emails this week, my grandmother passed away unexpectedly and we were with family.  There should be a lot of updates and additions to the photo gallery coming in the next couple of days.

I’ve noticed that recently we’ve gotten a lot more questions about whether Zoe’s glasses are “real.”  I guess now that she’s old enough to choose her own outfits, it’s possible that she might want to wear glasses that do nothing for her.  Then on our train trip out to see my family I had two different people ask me if Zoe’s temporary tattoo of a dog driving a firetruck was real!  And I realize that silly comments are absolutely not limited to kids wearing glasses.

Zoe and I re-watched the Yo Gabba Gabba episode “Differences” that I’d written about before.  Previously, I wrote that I was disappointed that Muno got glasses that episode (which has some great songs about wearing glasses), but then he never shows up in glasses again.  Turns out I hadn’t watched the full episode.  At the end, he complains that his glasses always slip, so they give him contacts.  Just like that.  Which isn’t really any better, but at least there was  an explanation.  Still, I wish he’d stayed in glasses, for the whole episode, Zoe kept saying “glasses, like Zoe!”

Then I came across this article “Kids with contacts like their looks better than kids in glasses.”  It’s the result of research done at Ohio State University by Jeffrey Walline.  (If the name sounds familiar, then you have a great memory – he’s the researcher that published a study showing that kids do not think other kids in glasses are less attractive).  Basically, this study looked at nearly 500 nearsighted children between the ages of 8 and 11.  Half were assigned to wear glasses, and half contact lenses.  The kids were asked about their feelings of self worth at the beginning and end of the study.  While there was no difference between the groups in terms of global self worth or their value to society, children wearing contact lenses felt better about how they look, their athletic abilities and acceptance by their friends than did children wearing eyeglasses in a recent study.  The article goes on to make the recommendation that “kids, in consultation with parents, should be able to choose what kind of vision correction they want,” obviously, with maturity and hygeine being big factors in that decsion.

Gah!  It just hurts to read that.  I don’t have strong feelings one way or another about contacts.  I had them from age 13 to 18, and then stopped because my eyes were always bloodshot, and the contacts would cloud up after about 10 hours of wear.  But it just hurts to read that the kids in glasses felt like they were less attractive and that their friends were less accepting of them.  Gah.  Childhood relationships can be crazy enough, without this added factor, and I know I can’t protect Zoe from everything, but I hate the idea that the things that help her see – and that look so freakin cute on her – might make her feel less accepted.

I don’t know if we’ll offer the choice of contacts as early as they did in the study, obviously that depends on what she’s like as an 8 year old.  I know that I’ll do my damnedest to make sure she never feels unattractive because of her glasses.

What are your thoughts on kids in contacts as young as 8?  Will you offer them to your child (again, assuming your child is mature enough to care for them)?

You know how in India we have this concept of arranged marriage?? Despite all the modernization of our country we this concept of parents choosing their child’s life partner is still prevalent. A lot of debate has been going on on this. I do not want to get in depth here as it will take forever to understand the concept . A great many feel that a person has the right and freedom to choose whom he wishes to spend the rest of his life with. That in my land is what we call a “love marriage”. You fall in love, and get married to them. It is highly popular with the youngsters. Then there is this “arranged marriage” where the elders choose the bride or the groom. It works very well too in majority of the cases. But obviously there are lot of reasearch to be done based on the education, employment, family background and the list can go on.
I chose my own life partner which was a big deal in our families as we come from a traditional families. But many of my cousins will not have that choice. One of my favourite cousins is ready for marriage and there is a big “looking out for a bride” going on for him.  One such prospective bride had glasses in the picture. She was very pretty and everything looked good. But the elders did not go for it. Reason: glasses. What if their kids get glasses in future??

I lectured them when they asked me for my opinion. I told them my son has glasses at 2. And for no fault of his. Neither of his parents has glasses. Yet he got them. That does not stop anyone from loving him and doting on him. Why should this girl be rejected on that basis then?? I made them understand that the glasses make should not make any difference if they like the girl and infact it made the girl look so much smarter. I was told 2 days ago that the parents are meeting each other to set a date for the wedding. My son with glasses made me and everyone empathize with the girl with glasses. And I was able to make a convincing case for her.  I feel happy now. I cannot wait to dance at the wedding and to meet my future cousin

Hello!  It’s been a long time since my last post here on Little Four Eyes, but I guess that’s a good thing because it means nothing new has happened with Franklin’s glasses.  Neither pair of glasses has been in need of care in the past few months, we haven’t had any meaningful conversations about wearing glasses, and life has gone on normally.

However, I did want to mention something I’ve noticed since Franklin has been in pre-school.  This is his second year at his pre-school, and in both years, he’s made friends with the other kids with glasses in his class FIRST.  And yes, both years, there have been two other kids (different kids both years, I might add) who wear glasses in his class.  (OK Ann, that’s 3 in 20 both years, what’s the %?)  On his first day this year, I saw another little boy walk into the class with glasses, and sure enough, when I came to pick Franklin up, he was sitting by that little boy and I was told he was Franklin’s new friend.

What does this mean?  I don’t really know.  I do know that Franklin is very outgoing (sometimes a little too outgoing) and doesn’t have any problems making friends with kids without glasses.  I’ve never had reason to think he has

any self-confidence issues related to his glasses, but maybe he feels just different enough that he notices glasses on other kids and is naturally drawn to them.  Would this be true if he had red hair?  Or big freckles?  Or curly hair?  Or WHATEVER it is that makes children different?  Actually, probably.  But at this point, I’m not worried.  I’m just glad Franklin has “His People”. 

Yesterday morning as we were heading in to church, the usher looked at Zoe’s glasses and asked if they were Sarah Palin glasses.  Wait, what?  Umm, no?  I was so thrown by the question that I just smiled awkwardly and hurried to a seat.  I still have no idea what the point of the question was.  (As an aside, Bright Eyes News has a post about Palin’s glasses just in case you need to know more)

I’ve been thinking about people’s responses to young kids in glasses, and I think it has a lot to do with just how common glasses are on adults.  Everyone knows someone who wears glasses, and everyone knows (or thinks they know) why people wear glasses.  But as common as they are for adults, they’re extremely uncommon for kids (I need to look up actual numbers at some point).  So there’s this weird confluence of the unusual aspect of glasses on a little one + people’s assumptions that they know what the glasses are for that leads to people feeling comfortable commenting on it.  Maybe.

Still doesn’t explain the Sarah Palin comment.

Braden

Many moons ago, (or so it seems!) in September of 2007, I had an appointment for my son Braden to get his eyes checked. Although my pediatrician insisted that Braden’s eyes were NOT turning, my gut told me differently. I made an appointment with an eye doctor on my own. Sure enough, Braden’s eyes did intermittently turn in. Upon first hearing Braden’s diagnosis of Esotropia I was told that I could do surgery, however, it was only cosmetic, and would not correct his vision. We would begin with glasses, continue with eye exercises when he was older, and VIOLA- Problem Solved. Completely ignorant of the now all too familiar terms- strabismus, alternating Eso, High AC/A, convergence insufficiency, DVD, etc- and only a mom to a darn cute little boy with an eye turn- I was thrilled. Of course I’d want to avoid surgery at all costs.

I was on cloud 9 walking out of the door to the Optometrists, I could definitely deal with glasses and eye excercises. I was so happy that I had taken the initiative to go to the Doctor’s against my Pediatricians opinion.

Fast-Forward 2 months, and upon a visit to my pediatrician’s office, the Dr. who was seeing my son (not my pediatrician) stared intently at my son and asked what I was planning on doing about his eyes. I proudly told him that I had taken him, myself, to an Optometrist and what the Optometrist had told me, and watched his face scrunch in horror.

“I think you need to get a 2nd Opinion” he said “from an Ophthalmologist, if it was my grandson, he would have already had surgery”

I walked out of the pediatrician office jaded with doubt.

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Bit of of a random train of thought post today. Teagansmom’s comment on my last post (her #11 about wanting to scream the next time someone asks how you know they needed glasses) got me thinking about those responses we always hear from people about our kids’ glasses. Yesterday, Zoe and I were at the bakery and the woman behind the counter looked at Zoe and said that her sister had worn glasses since infancy. Apparently people would always comment to her father that she was so good at keeping her glasses on. “Yeah,” her dad would say, “because she can’t see without them!”  It made me laugh, and reminded me of someone who asked Chris if Zoe’s glasses were “real.” Seriously, if someone has the time and energy and money to buy their young toddler glasses, and then convince them to wear the glasses, when the glasses don’t provide any benefit at all?  Yeah.  Those people need to donate some of that time, energy and money to me.