little four eyes

by, Rebecca of Mommy, Ever After

Something happened, recently;

In fact, many somethings.

My baby daughter became a kid;

She started to go to school;

She got recognized for her glasses.

Back in the early days, when her diagnoses, and spectacles, were so new,

my greatest fear was that she’d be judged.

I worried that she would be ridiculed

and prayed that she would not be marginalized.

I hoped that people would be able to look beyond the tiny, wire frames that sat upon her nose,

and not see a girl who was bespectacled,

but instead, a girl who was being spectacular.

I hoped. I wished. I waited.

And then, she grew up.

She started preschool.

She met children.

She made new friends.

And, by coincidence, we found out that another girl in her class had the very same name.

I wrestled with the idea of how to tackle the name situation, as I am in the role of both mother and teacher,

and with the girls being so young, I wanted to avoid as much confusion as possible.

Should I call by daughter by her full name, although she’s used to going by the abbreviation?

Should I tack on the first initial to their last name?

But, before I could come up with the right answer,

it was handed to me;

handed to me by two, tiny, sticky, toddler hands.

A little boy in the class, for whom my daughter has the utmost affection, began to ask for her on his drive to school in the morning.

His mother shared with me that as they would pull into the parking lot, he would ask for his teachers, the puppets, and my daughter.

And he would say her name, and then, to be absolutely clear, he would modify it, by saying,

“With glasses.”

His mother told me this with a smile.

Her son loved my daughter. His friend. His friend with glasses.

And when I heard this, I was overcome with great emotion.

For all those many days and weeks and months, I had felt so worried that my daughter would not be seen for who she was

for what she could do,

and here it was: The affirmation of my fears. My kid was the little girl who was known for having glasses, and even given a nickname, as such.

And as soon as her words hit me,

I felt

absolutely

nothing

but

love.

I thought it was precious.

I felt grateful.

I felt proud.

Because for me, her glasses are just one of the many things that maker her special. And they make her special to her new friend. And they have absolutely nothing to do with why he loves her.

He loves her because she shares his obsession with animals. He loves her because they do puppet shows for one another. He loves her because they sit quietly together, in the corner, and read books. And he loves her enough to have a nickname for her. And it is true. She’s with glasses,

but she’s also with so much more.

 

As we come to the end of January, which this year is Glaucoma Awareness Month, I wanted to post a few resources for families who are dealing with pediatric glaucoma.

Glaucoma is a leading cause of blindness, and while older people are more at risk, glaucoma can occur at any age.  Pediatric or Childhood Glaucoma may be congenital (1 in 10,000 babies in the US are born with glaucoma) or may develop later in childhood.  Glaucoma is also closely associated with cataracts, children who have cataract surgery are at higher risk of developing glaucoma, and so are often closely monitored.  Some symptoms of childhood glaucoma include light sensitivity (photophobia), corneal opacification (hazy gray cornea), enlarged eye and cornea, epiphora (overflow of tears), and vision loss. (Information is from the Pediatric Glaucoma and Cataract Family Association, and the Glaucoma Research Foundation).

You can find more information about pediatric glaucoma and support support for those dealing with it here:

• Congenital Glaucoma Network - this is a social network for all people affected by childhood glaucoma come to share their story.  There is a forum, blogs, a place to share photos, videos, and links to more resources.
• Pediatric Glaucoma – information on pediatric glaucoma from the Pediatric Cataracts & Glaucoma Family Association.  You may also want to check their Knowledgebase for more articles on glaucoma.
• Children’s Glaucoma Foundation – a non-profit dedicated to supporting children with glaucoma.
• Childhood Glaucoma – symptoms, treatment options, and stories about childhood glaucoma.  From the Glaucoma Research Foundation.

You can also read other posts on Little Four Eyes that deal with glaucoma.

If I’m missing anything, please let me know!

 

A couple of links to check out, and one website that no longer exists…

These links will both be added to our Gear page:

• I just learned of the site Children Wearing Glasses a couple of weeks ago (it was posted on the facebook page, but I can’t find the post again, so I can’t give credit where it’s due – sorry!).  Then yesterday, the owner of the site contacted me and gave me a bit more information.  It is a Danish site, and she’s tried to collect a huge variety of items for kids in glasses – that includes toys, accessories, glasses cases and more.  There’s a lot of cute stuff there.  The prices include VAT, if you’re not in the EU, the Danish VAT will be deducted from the price.
• I also learned of product called SPEC-WRAP which is a colorful and protective sleeve for the earpieces and temples of glasses.  It lets you change the color of the earpieces of the glasses on a temporary basis.  Due to small pieces, they are not recommended for children under five, however.

and this one will be taken off our resources page…

• Babies with glasses (babieswithglasses.org) appears to be gone.  This was the site that, had I known it existed back in March of 2008, I might not have started Little Four Eyes.  It had quite a few articles and a forum for support targeted at parents of babies in glasses, it also had some cute shirts for kids in glasses.  I am not sure when it went away, but I noticed the URL no longer worked last week.  This week I noticed that typing in the URL redirects you here to Little Four Eyes.  I am flattered that the webmaster did this – we’d never really interacted much, though I posted to the forum on occasion.  In any case, a big welcome to anyone who was going to babieswithglasses and finds themselves here!  I hope you’ll introduce yourself and stay for a while.

Cyndi Lee left this as a comment this morning about her experiences as a child with a cataract.  She gave me permission to re-post it here.  Many thanks to her for sharing.  -Ann Z

This is my first time writing anything about my cataracts….  I’m now 41, but I was born with a cataract only in my left eye.  My right eye is still 20/20 (God is fair) and as much as I’ve joked to my doctors that they should use me in their thesis, no one takes me seriously.  For one, I know the difference between being legally blind vs 20/20 and I can EXPLAIN to the adult world the cons and pros.  So for those who are in need of some sanity for their child, read on.

A cataract is exactly like seeing objects underwater in a swimming pool.  You see the object and can identity but it’s not crystal clear. I also had a lazy eye – that comes with the territory with most cataract cases in early childhood due to the lack of muscle usage. I’ve had a semi-successful surgery only because I waited too long.  The procedure was not as advanced as it is today to fix the lazy eye syndrome related to cataract, but still I’m so grateful and happy for the surgery.  The early years, I had to wear the “pirate” black eye piece to school which I endured great ridicule from the students and from which I still have nostalgic scars, BUT my strong parental influence and my brother being next to me had made all the difference in the world.  Although in hindsight I would tell a “story” behind the patch, such as “my eye needs rest because I have extra vision like superman”….Something to that line to ease the ridicule…comedy is the best remedy. Encouragement and making sure the eye patch is “fashionable” due to the fact no one else has it makes it special!!  Having a degree in fashion has definitely made me realize that being different is the key!  It’s the love, support and encouragement the family shows that sketches out the future of the child.  My mother still carries the guilt as though she had done terribly wrong during pregnancy but I always tell her I’m blessed as I have a 20/20 vision on my right eye versus the astigmatism my brother has on both eyes.

I underwent a retinal detachment surgery 3 years ago, I went in for a normal checkup and went into the emergency room that night.  The damage was severe but the surgery was very successful. I did lose some sense of depth perception and some peripheral vision but my eyesight improved by one line on the chart which the doctor couldn’t explain.  No one had ever educated or warned me about the retinal detachment that are prone to happen to people with cataracts, so I would advise any parent to always remember to ask during checkup as their child gets older.  I did see flashes during the night while driving and spider web like floating around but thought it was just due to aging.  Don’t be alarmed as I still have a tiny “floater” after the surgery but I received results from two specialized doctors and they said it was fine.

The recovery, was tedious, boring and restless!  One must sleep facing down ( two weeks for me ) my mom and I’ve tried everything until we came up with a solution.  Bought a massage table with the open headrest from Costco and placed a huge mirror under me angled towards the TV so I could at least be entertained and now there’s iPads. The recovery is very important as one can lose their vision if not properly taken care. It is imperative after this surgery to always have a doctor’s visit at least once a year if not twice just to be safe.

I had too much fun going through my email inbox these past couple of days.  The pictures everyone sent in of their children all dressed up for Halloween are beyond cute.  So without further ado, here they are, enjoy!  (And if you have a picture you want added, send it my way, I’ll try to get it up – ann @ shinypebble . com)

Read more…

Goblins in glasses?  Bespectacled beasties?  I’d love to do a post featuring pictures of our kids all decked out for Halloween – or any other glasses-related decorations.  Send me your pictures, with whatever caption you’d like added to it to ann @ shinypebble . com (take out the spaces).

I haven’t done a link round up in a while, so here’s a few to check out!

• 

  2012 Visions of Home calendar

  Children’s Eye Foundation 2012 Visions of Home Eye Care calendar (this link goes to the store, but you can see the full calendar by clicking the “View the 2012 Calendar” link).  This is a beautiful calendar, featuring images of children, many of whom wear glasses.  Children’s Eye Foundation has run a photo contest each summer since 2009 to find photos for their annual calendar, and this year’s calendar is my favorite so far.  Proceeds from the sale of the calendar support the Children’s Eye Foundation.

• VSP Eye Pledge.  VSP is asking people to take a pledge on their website to take care of their eyesight.  For every pledge they receive, they will donate an eye exam and pair of glasses to a child served by the Boys & Girls Clubs of America.
• Pinterest board – Little Four Eyes.  There’s been a lot of discussion on the facebook group of cute clothes for our kids that are glasses-themed.  Christie has started a Pinterest board of images of such clothes.  Check it out, and feel free to leave links to others you’ve found.
• 

  "A Book Lover"

  Speaking of cute glasses-themed attire…I just today realized that all of my favorite t-shirts from Threadless were created by the same designer, Lim Heng Swee aka “Ilovedoodle”, and that many of his designs feature animals that just happen to wear glasses (and many of them clearly love reading, too).  You can see all of his shirt designs here.

but the MOST important of things was this:

a very special new accessory for Bitty Baby.

Phew! My two tiniest girls are twins, again.

(Full disclosure, when I bought these Bitty Baby glasses, I got choked up. I wasn’t sad. I wasn’t happy. I was just choked up. Just because it is a thing.  Hey, what can I say? It has certainly gotten easier, but it’s not always easy. I guess motherhood never is.)

Ok, Bitty Baby…time to Bespectacular.

Originally published on Mommy, Ever After

I mentioned a while back about the Prevent Blindness America “Most Beautiful Eyes” contest. The contest is in full swing now, and voting will continue until the end of the month.

The winner of the contest (chosen from a group of top vote-getters) will be the face of the Star Pupils program – a program designed to educate parents about the importance of vision health for their children.

I would LOVE to have a child in glasses represent that program.  One of the concerns I hear so often from parents who learn their child needs glasses, is that their child’s eyes will be obscured, that others won’t see their child’s beautiful eyes.  We know that’s not true – that our children’s eyes shine through their glasses.  What a great way to show that, and to alleviate some of those fears: to have a child in glasses or a child with vision issues as the face of Star Pupils.

As voting is winding down, we don’t have a lot of time, but I know this community reaches a lot of people.  Voting is easy, you don’t need register or log in anywhere, and you can vote for multiple entries (but only once a day for the same entry).  Please join me in voting for our Little Four Eyes children!

I know of 7 entries from the Little Four Eyes community – if there are any others, please let me know (email me the link: ann @ shinypebble.com).  Click on the photo to get to the voting page.  Remember, you can vote for all of them, and you can vote everyday!  Please feel free to share with others, too!

I have to admit something;

In my career as a mommy, there have been moments that I am not proud of.

Like this weekend, when I told my husband that he just had to watch the baby for a few minutes. I had something important to do.

(Really, I just had to go down to the kitchen and eat cookie dough straight from the refrigerator).

Maybe not my finest moment.

Or later that evening, when we took my daughter out to dinner.

As walked up and down the sidewalk, waiting for our food to be ready, we were stopped by a couple and their young son.

“I have to ask, how do you get her to keep her glasses on?” Asked the woman, lounging in her chair.

And in the same breath, she choked, “But she’s still sooo cute.”

And, in that moment, I loathed her. Loath is too kind a word. I hated her. I didn’t hate her for the question. The question is fair enough. In fact, it is the second most popular question we get.

I hated her for the implication. For the tone.

Why shouldn’t my daughter still be cute? She is beautiful. She is perfect. The glasses are irrelevant. Are you saying they’re not?

My words were acrid in my mouth as I responded to the woman.

“She keeps them on because she can’t see very well without them.”

And then I walked away.

My blood felt hot and my stomach felt heavy.

I did not feel particularly proud of that.

***

But, if I’m being honest, there was another moment.

A moment that I am nearly too afraid to describe.

A moment that was so painful and confusing and embarrassing that it still makes my heart hurt.

I was taking my daughter for a walk. We strolled around a beautiful, outdoor shopping complex, and as I pushed my precious girl in her stroller, we chatted and she laughed with me. I felt so happy. I felt love.

And as we walked, I saw a pregnant woman sitting on a bench. She looked up, studied my daughter and smiled. But, for an instant, I thought I caught a glimpse of her face contorting…I thought I saw another emotion begin to creep across her features…

And that’s when it happened;

My least proud moment:

I worried that this woman, this pregnant vessel to a new life soon to be born, was looking at my daughter and hoping that her baby wouldn’t have to have glasses like mine. I thought I saw pity in her eyes.

And then, I died inside.

Not because I cared what the woman thought–

not at all–

but because I hated myself for letting my mind go to that horrible, terrible, scary place.

I felt ashamed.

I did not feel proud on that day.

So, I gave myself a time out.

I asked myself why I read sadness or fear in the mist that had gathered in the pregnant woman’s eyes.

And in my time out, I recognized that while I have totally grown to love and accept my daughters eyes,

all four of them,

it still hurts sometimes.

It hurt when the woman in the restaurant this weekend asked me how my daughter kept her glasses on.

And it didn’t hurt because of what she was saying and how she said it,

even though it felt that way at the time;

it hurt because of how I had to answer:

“She keeps them on because she can’t see very well without them.”

It hurts. It hurts that my daughter has eyes that don’t work perfectly. It hurts that at night, when I tuck her into bed, kiss her, and tell her how much I love her, that I have to remove her glasses from her face, stealing her sight from her as she drifts towards slumber.

It breaks my heart.

But in my time out, I realized something else; I am allowed to feel crummy. I am allowed to look into the scariest depths of my anxieties, as long as I can shake them off and go on living. Because the truth is, my daughter can see.

The truth is, she looks adorable in her little pink frames with her magnified eyes.

The truth is, the pregnant woman was probably looking at my daughter with misty eyes because she was thinking,

I can’t believe I will soon have one of those. A child with whom I can walk around and talk and laugh with on a beautiful day. How lucky I am. How lucky they are.

***

And so, this weekend, as we strolled up and down the sidewalk waiting for our food to arrive, I shot a smile down to the woman who had asked about my daughter’s glasses. She didn’t mean any harm, after all. And when Another young couple with a little girl stopped us to say how cute my daughter was, I felt wonderful, and the smile that spread across my face was genuine and bright. And when they complimented her on her adorable glasses and fabulous shoes, I felt happy, as I told them, “Yes, my little girl sure does know how to accessorize an outfit.”

And once again, I felt proud.